We all have different experiences leaving. Mine was mixed. At the age I left, I didn't have a husband or children in and I had never been baptised. I didn't even UNDERSTAND what could happen to me when I left. What happened was I was shunned and gossiped about (as a 15year old girl) as being immoral (and a teenage unwed parent-when I was a virgin and going to HS the entire time and the only babies I had around me were cousins and neighbors that I babysat). Not one of my JW friends/acquaintances spoke to me. I only know what some are up to because of facebook and a few that left and I connected with (minimally).
Some of my moms friends have softened and just talk to me like a person (not an ex JW),so they drop hints frequently, but don't go hardcore on me. My pioneer aunt treats me with kid gloves (she was DF'd for decades, so she doesn't play the game like she probably should as a pioneer, but thatsall to the good).
The cousin who murdered her husband and his GF(never in jail, never DFd) treatsme like a leper. Her son, who "accidentally" shot hisbrother-the same. Most of the rest just drifted away-less by conviction than the fact that they were living lifestyles incompatible with christianity(of any sort).They still believe and go to memorials and meetings when they are inthe mood.They wouldcall themselves JWs (LOL)if pressed. Aunt whose son died with no transfusion is OUT and is political and speaks up for everthing she thinks about God, religion, politics and the world.
Most are effectively out, but unacklnowledged as "ex"JWs. It now seems to be a kind of don't ask, don't tell kind of atmosphere in my family. Not that long ago, there was definitely a lot more shunning going on,but Ithink too many family members were effectivly out and the ones in can't really cut themselves off from everyone when we all know that the congregation doesn't offer much more than lip service twice a week at meetings and possibly in service.
I am the only one that made sure my mom had her WT literature when she was in hospital and rehab. No brothers helped,even when asked nicely. She knows how much they are good for. My pioneer aunt depends on my mom for money and gas-and my mom can only afford to support her so much. So she doesn't ask much:) There is a price to pay!
So, I think that most of my JW family is like my ex's Catholic family. They still have the lingo and still talk the talk around each other, but they livetheir secular lives. Some go to other churches sometimes,but no seriously churchy people who have left really. This has changed in my family a lot in the last few years. It really used to be different but most who left didn't "go" to anythign else. so they re pretty much left alone. My mom does not talk socially to her former sis in law (mom of the one who had court ordered transfusion after refusing), but she doesn''t snub her and speaks nicely about her. No girl dates anymore,they used to be best of friends and my mom loved her a lot.