Mmmm. I was once counseled in a baptist church that my son who was 3 and his little 4 year old (girl) friend holding hands encouraged early dating. I know this is picking on JWs forum, but a couple of the above posts just reminded me of that. They also danced at my wedding (later, because I and her parents thought that the old busy body was just being a biddy)and totally MADE the wedding videos (the rest of the wedding was dead boring, but they were adorable slow dancing).
JWdaughter
JoinedPosts by JWdaughter
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100
What's the most dumbest/petty thing you've heard of someone being "stumbled" over?
by Reality79 in- some loser once took offense that i hugged a sister goodbye at a leaving do and ran back to the elders like a little child telling on me.
i was 15, this sister was in her 40s at the time.. - this elder said someone told him they saw me with a copy of the sun newspaper.
yes, this paper is known for its 'page 3' topless girls but far from pornagraphic and i wasn't even thinking along those lines.. - one brother who had a good job was 'counselled' because he was actually able to buy himself nice things including a new car (shock, horror!!
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100
What's the most dumbest/petty thing you've heard of someone being "stumbled" over?
by Reality79 in- some loser once took offense that i hugged a sister goodbye at a leaving do and ran back to the elders like a little child telling on me.
i was 15, this sister was in her 40s at the time.. - this elder said someone told him they saw me with a copy of the sun newspaper.
yes, this paper is known for its 'page 3' topless girls but far from pornagraphic and i wasn't even thinking along those lines.. - one brother who had a good job was 'counselled' because he was actually able to buy himself nice things including a new car (shock, horror!!
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JWdaughter
- My mom (and then I, by her) got counseled for asking questions about what we were studying in one of the nuttier prophetic novels studybooks in the 1970's. I was about 9 or 10 at the time and I asked some logical and provocative questions. To my childlike mind, we were in someone's home among friends. . . why should I not ask when I had a question? My mom was still not baptised, and her pat answer has always been that she has studied for so many years and compared it to all the other religions, so she knows it is right. I was like 9-no one would LET me study anything else. So, I tried to get some answers.
Well, that is not acceptable to ask an elder or MS to explain something in a study book in public because it casts doubt. If a 9 year old can ask questions that bring up doubts, then they got deeper issues than a curious 9 year old!!
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JWdaughter
Take care of yourself. You are in our prayers and so is your grandson.
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35
If you don't like being a Jehovah's Witness then leave....
by Quirky1 inif you don't like being a jehovah's witness or going to the kingdom hall or the society then leave.... it's as simple as that... .
i left several years ago and have not been hounded, bothered or sought out by anyone.
i still see them from time to time, and yes, they do pour out the love bomb when you run into them, but eh, you know what?
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JWdaughter
We all have different experiences leaving. Mine was mixed. At the age I left, I didn't have a husband or children in and I had never been baptised. I didn't even UNDERSTAND what could happen to me when I left. What happened was I was shunned and gossiped about (as a 15year old girl) as being immoral (and a teenage unwed parent-when I was a virgin and going to HS the entire time and the only babies I had around me were cousins and neighbors that I babysat). Not one of my JW friends/acquaintances spoke to me. I only know what some are up to because of facebook and a few that left and I connected with (minimally).
Some of my moms friends have softened and just talk to me like a person (not an ex JW),so they drop hints frequently, but don't go hardcore on me. My pioneer aunt treats me with kid gloves (she was DF'd for decades, so she doesn't play the game like she probably should as a pioneer, but thatsall to the good).
The cousin who murdered her husband and his GF(never in jail, never DFd) treatsme like a leper. Her son, who "accidentally" shot hisbrother-the same. Most of the rest just drifted away-less by conviction than the fact that they were living lifestyles incompatible with christianity(of any sort).They still believe and go to memorials and meetings when they are inthe mood.They wouldcall themselves JWs (LOL)if pressed. Aunt whose son died with no transfusion is OUT and is political and speaks up for everthing she thinks about God, religion, politics and the world.
Most are effectively out, but unacklnowledged as "ex"JWs. It now seems to be a kind of don't ask, don't tell kind of atmosphere in my family. Not that long ago, there was definitely a lot more shunning going on,but Ithink too many family members were effectivly out and the ones in can't really cut themselves off from everyone when we all know that the congregation doesn't offer much more than lip service twice a week at meetings and possibly in service.
I am the only one that made sure my mom had her WT literature when she was in hospital and rehab. No brothers helped,even when asked nicely. She knows how much they are good for. My pioneer aunt depends on my mom for money and gas-and my mom can only afford to support her so much. So she doesn't ask much:) There is a price to pay!
So, I think that most of my JW family is like my ex's Catholic family. They still have the lingo and still talk the talk around each other, but they livetheir secular lives. Some go to other churches sometimes,but no seriously churchy people who have left really. This has changed in my family a lot in the last few years. It really used to be different but most who left didn't "go" to anythign else. so they re pretty much left alone. My mom does not talk socially to her former sis in law (mom of the one who had court ordered transfusion after refusing), but she doesn''t snub her and speaks nicely about her. No girl dates anymore,they used to be best of friends and my mom loved her a lot.
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25
exJW Psychology 103--Let's Reconsider "Confidentiality"
by Billy the Ex-Bethelite inover the course of decades as a jw, an elder, a bethelite, then learning ttatt and wanting to leave, i'd collected a lot of insight into the power of "confidentiality.
" although the confidentiality in a judicial hearing is supposedly to protect the sinner, in actuality, i saw that it was about control and was protecting the power of the jc.. i didn't use any of this knowledge until i was called before the boe because the other elders figured they had grounds to remove me as an elder.
it was a work situation that only lasted a matter of hours, but it was enough that they seized the moment.
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JWdaughter
Why can't we simply invoke the one or more witnesses thing when they drag us into kangaroo courts and tell them that they should not be speaking to me before my accusers have spoken to me?? Otherwise there is no cause for any JC, even by their own standards.
I was just a kid, but the only person I directed my questions to was my book study lady, a pioneer, who could not answer them. So she went to the elders. Who, rather than even trying, just directed me to trust the organization (blah blah blah). I said you didn't answer the questions. I don't accept that response and I was DA'd . I had no intent of going public or starting a campaign, I simply wouldn't aquiece to their (stupid) excuses and agree to stop asking questions.
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RC's and IC's: Are buses the new profit center?
by zed is dead inlocally there was a very strong push for everybody to ride the bus to the international convention.
they discouraged driving to the stadium and were not as crazy about booking rooms through the society.
my guess is that they are getting a cut of the bus fares that they organize.
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JWdaughter
In Tacoma, they were charging for parking when it was actually prohibited for them to do so! It was called the Tacoma Dome Parking Scandal, remember?
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34
How big a fee does the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society get for booking Jehovah's Witnesses into Convention Hotels?
by Balaamsass incurious.
i know travel agents and on-line sites get a kickback or fee for booking hotels.
how much is this fee?.
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JWdaughter
Usually casual travel arrangements, like the WT, are not on a commission. For that to happen, the 'agency' needs to do the booking. Are they going through a WT website? If so, yep, the WT is getting a commission. (and the WT could open their own tour/travel agency to facilitate such things)
If the JW friends are just booking (one way or the other) AT the assigned hotels, then there may be an arrangement for referrals (like free rooms), but it is not on the level of a commision as the work is being done by other registered agents who are getting their own commission.
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JWdaughter
Welcome Tigersuit! You are going to have a lot of emotional reactions as you deal with the fallout of knowing this stuff. Thinking something is wrong. . .is a struggle-but once you know, you need to make decisions. This is a good place to vent, question, holler, whine, cry and preach it! We are all in this together, one way or the other!
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26
Convention Hotel "list"- Free rooms for JW/WT "dignitaries"?
by Darth Fader The Sequel inin all my years of being a jw, one of the more annoying aspects to me was each year sitting through the service meeting review part about what was expected (see: demanded) behavior and policies that the rest of us rank and file were ordered to comply with to attend a district convention.
the minutia in this part and the over-reaching set of rules were enough to drive me into a lather of rage at the audacity of these people thinking they could and should control every single aspect of my attendance to this "free" and voluntary convention.
from what clothing i can wear on my trip to and from the convention city, to what clothing i can wear before and after each day of the convention, to what i should be doing after each day instead of eating dinner and enjoying some good times with good friends, to insisting on wearing a ridiculous name badge, to what i should eat for lunch and where i should eat lunch and what is the appropriate container to keep my lunch in, to .................. the list is endless!!!!!!!!
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JWdaughter
That happens all the time-when any group plans a cruise or whatever, there are a certain amount of free tickets that go to the sponsoring entity depending on how many people sign up. What bugs me about the WT is that they are the WT. I basically will think they are up to something when they do anything-only because I have seen so many other examples of manipulative, usurous behavior. So, there is basically nothingn that they do that I won't at least wonder "what they are up to" and speculate about it a bit.
I try to leave my paranoia off the boards but I will say this about the original post. The WT makes folks signs up for these rooms (virtually). When the hotel fails them and they lose it-and the WT assigns them one of their "free" ones--I think that the WT ought to simply give it to them as a comp(free) because they were following the WT guidelines and were inconvenienced by it. To charge them a "donation" and then tell them that the 'donation' needed to include taxes etc.. .well-folks THAT is where they stepped over the line. There are NO taxes on donations! The WT did not pay any taxes on the 'donation'. And the whole thing is just not very neighborly.
Plus, I hate the conventions, anyway. They got the internet now. Let everyone watch it at their leisure and save the money!
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Those Jehovah's Witness Assemblies & Conventions Suck!
by minimus ini read about them here, on the board.
i am so thankful that i choose not to go anymore..
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JWdaughter
I think if you want no strings attached, you could save a lot of money if you would do a little manual labor. Seriously, in the end, its the same thing. No risk of disease, pregnancy or being robbed.