Posts by JWdaughter

42

My Ex Wife Admitted She Doesnt Believe It's The Truth

by pale.emperor in

my ex-wife actually opened up to me today over the phone.

she was quite anxious and, i could sense, i little upset.

for those that dont know my situation im separated from my wife.

JWdaughter

This is all kind of sad. I wish I had words of wisdom, but I am curious if you think she wants to get back with you. If she did, would you dismiss it instantly or would you mull it over in your head/heart a bit.

I think a gf after 4 months of separation from a wife who (weakly) left you in bowing to family pressure would maybe not have as much hold on your heart than the mother of your child. I'm not sure what you had hoped for but for the WTBTS as regards your wife, but man, being with someone who is OCD is not the worst thing in the world, but someone who is trapped in the WT world and has your daughter captive along with her seems like a horrible scenario, especially if you have any feelings left for your ex.

I have seen first hand what divorce does to families and kids. If I could have my kid full time, even with (meh) ex and no relatives, I'd take it in a minute, now that I know exactly what the reality of being separated is for my son and both his parents. My ex was not a great husband, but I thought that my good intentions would make divorce ok for them. I didn't. And while I am happily remarried now, had I had the option to have them both back, I would have put up with the ex for my son. But we weren't JWs. As it is, my family all rejected me and my ex has made some stupid moves in the interests of getting his own revenge, instigated by idiots around him who have different agendas.

Your ex's family is the one that has agendas against you. Don't ever forget that if she stays in, not having any other options, they are going to push and support everything they can to keep you on very bad and very negative terms. It will likely never get better and your daughter is in the middle of it all. She is the one that matters. You know, but your wife is still trapped in the web and her support system is in opposition to you.

I don't know what your hopes were before this blew up in your face, but my hope for you is that your daughter is never raised in such a twisted ugly system. Not even 4 days a week.

17

Rape Victim Forced To Listen To a Tape Of Her Assault In A JC

by pale.emperor in

this is absolutely outrageous.

a rape victim was forced to listen to herself being raped while the elders stopped and started the tape claiming she was consenting.

even though during one of the assaults she was duct-taped, gagged and had a pillowcase over her head.

JWdaughter

Any one who is a publisher is supposed to be in good standing, so far as elders know. That is what JWs assume-anyone known by elders to be a danger should not be in a position as anything, isn't that what fireproof and DFing is about? So they won't endanger others?

It seems though that the worst offence here is the treatment that the elders subjected her to while in the JC being forced to listen as she was being used sexually. First the evidence of what occurred with the young man, then the way the elders subjected her to it again. In front of her mom and dad.

Did they all leave the cult after that or are they shunning their daughter? The guy who knows the situation could enlighten us a bit with the rest of the story.

182

Major congregational quake in Southern California

by Hecce in

this notice is not official yet and it should be confidential until released thru the proper channels.

a friend of mine told me about a huge elders meeting in southern california.

the subject was the relocation and dissolution of some congregations; it seems that this is the result of some project that has been going on for some time and is going to be implemented right now.. please let me know if this is happening all over the country?.

JWdaughter

A good thing to donate to would be a fund to help foster kids when they age out of the system. (My personal pet cause these days) Or a regular sum sent to the local food banks fresh for fresh food or toiletries (hard to find in a food bank).

26

Finding out that jws are not what they make out to be

by nomorepain13 in

*warning this is long* it all started on the last day of the "remain loyal to jehovah" convention.

a little background story, i've been raised as a jw, been in and out of the religon, never baptised but was made an unbaptized publisher about 3 years ago, always felt out of place in the congregation, blamed myself for this because if i had just went to meetings and did all the right things then i would have friends and not be in the mess that i was.

right after becoming an unbaptized publisher i met my now fiance, end up leaving my mother's house to live with him, elders haven't contacted me about my situation even though i'm sure they know as my step father is an elder...but anyway on the last day of the convention my fiance came with me as i was visiting my mother and had planned to go with her and her husband to the convention.

JWdaughter

It seems like you are not as fully in as many were at your age. Now is the time to ease out of it gracefully and your weekend at the convention seems a good enough reason to pull back.

I don't know how your parents (mom and stepdad) are treating your fiance or how they feel about your relationship or what kind of people they are, but please be careful of assuming the worst about your stepdad. Not all JWs are monsters or pedophiles. . . otoh, that your mind went there immediately after learning about the ARC and JW actions in that area does concern me, so please examine yourself to see if it was a knee jerk reflexive response to all the new info about pervy JWs or if there might be something more to it.

Don't let anyone here sour you on your belief generally. We are all kind of cynical on the subject, even when we are believers. You will come to your own conclusions but right now, the organization is the issue.and there is no harm in removing your belief in God from your belief in the org. Fully separating yourself from WT indoctrination will allow you to examine and explore what you truly DO believe, but don't let any of us put you down for it, whatever that might be, whether they are laughing at you for believing at all or if they are trying to get you into their new faith.

Most here are motivated to help. You saw through the org, so now is the time to start trusting yourself generally to evaluate the information you are given and its veracity.

Good luck!!!

10

Week 16 Since My Disfellowshipping - Update

by pale.emperor in

hi guys.

i could really do with you advice regarding my current state since being disfellowshipped 16 weeks ago.. since being given the boot (i did try to fade but it failed) ive been on a rollacoaster of emotions.

lately im getting frequent headaches, tiredness and i have about 3 or 4 thoughts running through my mind at all times.. im passed the sadness phase of discovering it's a cult.

JWdaughter

Fading is not an option for everyone. He tried that already, nowwhat?.

To P.E. I don't think that there are any defined phases. We all get to the point of leaving the org in different ways and realizing the truth about it is not always rolled into that, so we will all differ.

I do think though that its safe to say that you are barely out and everything is feeling a lot more raw now than it will in years to come. Everything in your life now is colored by this, but soon it will just be an occasional distraction. You know it isn't right. Check. You have your daughter nearly half time. Check. Your social life is a clean slate, and your baggage doesn't involve a criminal record, so you are way ahead many folks. Just keep moving forward. Don't let this cult be your focus anymore. Your future and that of your child is what matters now, so work and build for that. Actively go out to make friends and companions in activities or sports that you enjoy; Put extra into your work and get WAAAY ahead of the game.

Do well and be happy. It's not about revenge, its about living your life.

33

Disassociation revealed what type of man my father really is.

by Paul Mooney in

i began my exit from the jehovah’s witness organization about 5 years.

i was a 4th generation born-in, with all the baggage that comes with having the “spiritual heritage” attached to the group.

i was an elder/bethelite/pioneer/whatever other useless privilege there was, i had no family or friends outside of the organization… my entire life was that org.

JWdaughter

Wow. Thank you for sharing that. The religion really is a trap that is hard for many to extricate themselves from. I'm sorry that your dad is compelled to live his life like that. I'm proud of him for reaching out to you, rather than letting such important things go unsaid.

41

I don't think I will be able to escape the JWs ...

by nevaagain in

jw
friends

i know i will get a lot of backslash on this forum for saying this, but as it looks like, i won't ever be able to escape the jws.

i have been a born in, third generation jw and awoken in one way or another (i joined this forum 15 years ago) for a very long time.

but i have adapted to the jw lifestyle to a point where it does not bother me anymore.

JWdaughter

You are in a comfort zone and have a sad lack of confidence. You are kind of a perfect JW.

Your generation is more mobile and often have to make new friends. You got an automatic batch with a new congregation, but they are not your real friends, and we all know it, so it is a shame that you are giving up on building relationships (friendships or more) outside of the organization.

As to women. You are divorced from a woman that cheated on you. I don't know if that indicates that you really "get" even JW women. You might want to spend some time in groups of people participating in a hobby or activity that you like and find some friends with real interests in common.

The JW choice is easy now, but what about after marriage and children? What if your wife is gung ho or if she leaves the org and wants to stay with you? What JW woman is going to want a guy with no real ties to his congregation-who flits about to random assemblies and doesn't reach for more privileges? You do have an advantage in being male, but you are in a precarious situation if you marry a JW.

All the debbie downer stuff aside, I hope you find some happy in your life. You seem like a guy who really wants some roots. The WT doesn't encourage it, not really. They just want your obedience, not your happiness. I hope you grow the kind of roots you want in this life. Good luck!

45

CO visits me today

by Chook in

i'm at home and hear knock on door , i sneak and look i see two men and recognise one voice and go back into lonunge and ask wife ( who is inactive believer) does she want to speak to elders ,she says no ,then literally 3 minutes has pasted another knock the 3 minutes seemed like an eternity.

so brave heart me think fuck it i'll answer ,i invite them in for coffee, i recognise one older man he is a unique elder who i genuinely was fond of when i was in his name is andrew ,the other guy i didn't recognise we will call harry ( not real name australia doesn't have that many cos with his same name).

so i think to myself i will tread lightly and not cause to much of a fuss for the wife's sake, but my personality is very the opposite of treading lightly ,as you read my threads you will realise i'm not timid.

JWdaughter

Man, your shins must be bruised by now. Who starts a friendly conversation with the phrase "your words won't be used against you"? They think they are the police AND God?

I doubt they will call you. You are already DF'd. You said it in front of 3 witnesses and two of them are elders who will report to the others. The good news is that this is only for your good, so in that sense, your words are not being used "against" you, but rather to your benefit.

114

Jehovah's Witnesses ARE Christians, why do so many ex JW's deny this?

by nicolaou in

jehovah's witnesses accept jesus as christ, the son of god.

they try, in their own way, to live by his teachings and imitate him.

they pray, read the bible and meet together regularly for worship.. i won't minimise any of the harm and damage they cause but for the life of me, i can't see how anyone can credibly deny that they are christians.. why do so many former jws have a problem with this?

JWdaughter

For me, it's because their cult puts its confidence that salvation is inextricably tied to being a devotee and obedient to a group of men, and conformity to changing rules. Not just to their acceptance to men or a religious group, but stating that such obedience is required by God for salvation, notwithstanding that their requirements and stated understandings are relatively fluid and sometimes difficult to keep up with, as well.

Christians are supposed to follow and put their confidence in Jesus, not just pay lip service to following Jesus while jumping to do the bidding of men who require things of them not even suggested by Jesus.

They are not alone in denominational salvation teachings, but they are not even subtle- and many churches are promoting Samaritan type work while JWs mock it, mock mercy and mock charity in general. How that is Christian is beyond me.

15

Big Day fast approaching Letting go

by rebelfighter in

jw
friends

the big day is two days away when she will say "i do".

i knew this day would come someday but as a mom you just want to hold on even though i did everything to train her to be very independent.

she has been making most of her own decisions since middle school.. she moved away 5 years ago but still was totally mine till 2 years ago when mr. wonderful appeared in her life.

JWdaughter

Congratulations to your family. Have fun with all those kids and visitors! When will life settle into the mundane again? I bet you are a bit fried by now:)