lola28

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Posts by lola28

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  31

  I did something very stupid last night.

  by lola28 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so yesterday was a bad day, i was feeling sad, angry and hurt.

  as i posted on another thread my convention starts today and i decided not to go, well yesterday i get two calls one from a freind that wanted to see if i would go with her so she would not have to go alone.

  the second was from the sister i studied with.. .

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  lola28

  Prophecor,

  I am well aware that at some point I will have to choose what to do. Do I continue to fade, or do I take a stand and free myself from the society?

  At some point we all have to make decisions that are hard, I just don't know what to do yet. While I have had very strong doubts about the "truth" there are still some that I care about in the congregation. And I know that if I DA myself I will lose everyone. I guess the reason I haven't DA'ed or gotten DF is because I don't want to hurt those that I considered friends. A sister once told me that if I ever got DFed she would die.Yet this same sister never called me to see if I was okay.

  I realize that elders are very busy they have to deal with everyones issues but aren't they supposed to at least make an effort?

  lola
• 
  31

  I did something very stupid last night.

  by lola28 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so yesterday was a bad day, i was feeling sad, angry and hurt.

  as i posted on another thread my convention starts today and i decided not to go, well yesterday i get two calls one from a freind that wanted to see if i would go with her so she would not have to go alone.

  the second was from the sister i studied with.. .

  1. 
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• 

  lola28

  
  Prophecor, I'm only 21 and not married nor do I want to be. But this brother always makes sure to tell me that there is a place in his company for me. Like thats going to happen.

  Jgant, I always realized that I could never work with the brothers and sisters. Even if I lost my job and had no other options I would never consider working for the brothers and sisters. I have also heard about the way he treats those that work for him and I am in no hurry to be treated like dirt.

  Lola
• 
  31

  I did something very stupid last night.

  by lola28 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so yesterday was a bad day, i was feeling sad, angry and hurt.

  as i posted on another thread my convention starts today and i decided not to go, well yesterday i get two calls one from a freind that wanted to see if i would go with her so she would not have to go alone.

  the second was from the sister i studied with.. .

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  lola28

  Jgnat, I told my boss the whole story months ago and he has been very supportive, the few tmes that someone has called me at work he has told them that I have left for the day and that he has no idea when I will be returning aside from that there is not much more that he and I can do to keep them away.

  lola
• 
  31

  I did something very stupid last night.

  by lola28 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so yesterday was a bad day, i was feeling sad, angry and hurt.

  as i posted on another thread my convention starts today and i decided not to go, well yesterday i get two calls one from a freind that wanted to see if i would go with her so she would not have to go alone.

  the second was from the sister i studied with.. .

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  lola28

  Rebel you want to hear worse? A while back I was in need of a job and there are several brothers that own their own buissneses yet not one of them ever offered me a job. I finally answerd an add for the job I have now (which I love). At the memorial a brother took me aside and asked me if I would be intrested in a job I told him I had a job that I was happy with and had no need to go elsewhere. He actually asked me how much I was making, if I had medical insurance, vacation and so on.He said that if I worked for him I would never have to miss the meetings. I told him I was not going to talk about work and money at the memorial and that I was not going to to give up my job anytime soon.

  Now everytime I see him he asks how my job is and reminds me that he would love for me to work with him, not only that but he has also taken it upon himself to "visit" me at work.

  lola
• 
  31

  I did something very stupid last night.

  by lola28 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so yesterday was a bad day, i was feeling sad, angry and hurt.

  as i posted on another thread my convention starts today and i decided not to go, well yesterday i get two calls one from a freind that wanted to see if i would go with her so she would not have to go alone.

  the second was from the sister i studied with.. .

  1. 
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  3. 
• 

  lola28

  
  Okay so what should I do, the brothers and sisters know where I work and I would hate to have them stop by. They wont go to my house because my mother actually kicked a sister out of our house a few years ago so I don't think they will go there.

  I need a plan.

  lola
• 
  31

  I did something very stupid last night.

  by lola28 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so yesterday was a bad day, i was feeling sad, angry and hurt.

  as i posted on another thread my convention starts today and i decided not to go, well yesterday i get two calls one from a freind that wanted to see if i would go with her so she would not have to go alone.

  the second was from the sister i studied with.. .

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  lola28

  
  
  
  
  

  She called me at 8:30pm and I was still at work and what is the first thing that she says to me? She did not aks me how I was but she did ask me if I was a workaholic and if I had another god (meaning I am materialistic). I told her I was working and that I would call her when I got home.

  So when I got home I called her and she began to ask me why I had decided to stay away from meetings, I thought I would be able to talk to her with out breaking down but I could not. I told her I had lost faith in all of the elders in our hall and in our congregation. I told her I didn't feel part of the congregation and that I had realized that the brothers and sisters in the hall only cared numbers, I told her that the reason I don't go to meetings is because everytime I walk into the hall I feel like I am going to be sick. I told her I could not stand being in a room full of people that profess to care about you but will drop you faster than a bad habit the moment you fail to put in ten hours a month.

  She told me how sorry she felt about the way I was feeling and I could tell that she really was feeling hurt. So what happens next? Do you think I should get ready for the elders to start calling me? Should I have kept quiet about the way I was feeling?

  Lola
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  13

  This is the first time in years....

  by lola28 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this will be the first time i will be missing the convention.

  i don't know why but it just makes me feel so sad and empty.

  i miss so many people however i am so hurt because i realize that they don't care about me only about numbers.

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  lola28

  Thank you so much for everything I'm just sitting here crying which I should not do cause I'm at work but I can't help feeling this way. This freind only called to see if I would go with her in the morning because she did not want to go alone.

  lola
• 
  13

  This is the first time in years....

  by lola28 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this will be the first time i will be missing the convention.

  i don't know why but it just makes me feel so sad and empty.

  i miss so many people however i am so hurt because i realize that they don't care about me only about numbers.

  1. 
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  3. 
• 

  lola28

  Well the convention starts tomm. and a few minutes ago a"friend" called me at work. This is someone that I considered a very good friend yet she has not called me in months the last time I called her she did not return my call but now its convention time and she decideds to call me now? Where the hell was she all this time when I really needed some one to talk to?

  Next time I'm going to have my boss answer the phone and tell them that I'm not allowed to take private calls due to the fact that I'm working.Why do they do this? They ignore you and then suddenly call you for SADs and conventions?What about the rest of the time????

  lola
• 
  13

  This is the first time in years....

  by lola28 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this will be the first time i will be missing the convention.

  i don't know why but it just makes me feel so sad and empty.

  i miss so many people however i am so hurt because i realize that they don't care about me only about numbers.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  lola28

  Thank you for all the hugs you guys. I don't know what is going on maybe its watching the news and seeing how bad things are that has made me feel so alone and really sad to the point that I could break down in tears.

  I can not remember the last time I felt so sad, lost and confused all at the same same time. My heart aches.

  lola
• 
  13

  This is the first time in years....

  by lola28 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this will be the first time i will be missing the convention.

  i don't know why but it just makes me feel so sad and empty.

  i miss so many people however i am so hurt because i realize that they don't care about me only about numbers.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  lola28

  This will be the first time I will be missing the convention. I don't know why but it just makes me feel so sad and empty. I miss so many people however I am so hurt because I realize that they don't care about me only about numbers. God I feel like crying.

  Sorry, just needed to vent.

  lola