Minimus,
Here in the U.K. we will sometimes say to a friend
“you bastard”
But if I was to say to someone I didn’t like , or even hated, “ you bastard” I think you’ll agree there would be a difference.
As regards a black person calling another black person the N word , I don’t like it and really think it would be better if they didn’t but I’m guessing they are using it often almost in a friendly way like we call someone a bastard in the uk. “ you little bastard you”.
If a white person was to call a black person the N word I’m guessing it could often be used and viewed as a term of “know your place”.
Wouldnt you agree?