where to start?
first off i want to say that i actually took notes with my really cool 4 colour pen, and i colour coded my comments accordingly.
green = vomit inducing, red = furious, blue = makes me sad, and black = makes me want to die, lets just say that my article was really green .
thank goodness I didnt go yesterday.
I dont think I would have been able to stomach that tripe.
Higher Education was frowned upon when I grew up. Now Ive been stuck in the same ass job for the last 4 years.
I start school part-time in January at an accredited university in a field of my choice......Finance.
mange mon ballons WTS.
HBTN
so i've been wondering about it recently.
i was baptized when i was 11 years old and have been a witness for about 8 years now.
since i was 11 (yes, since 11) i've been reading the watchtower, doing the mics and all that stuff.
Look at Jesus. He was witnessing in the temple at 13, chilling with Pharisees and hell....he was God's Son.
Why did he wait till his 30's to get baptized??
Thats always puzzled me.
JW's happily baptize children, at the mature ages of 9, 10, 11........because they are 'spiritually mature'........yeahhhhh.....right!!!
IF they are baptized, you can control them, and if they do something bad, they can have their family/friends held at ransom.
ITs the JW way.............Rules and control...........someone pass me the Kool-Aid!!
HBTN
hope everyone is having a good day.
wondering how many fellow ontarians there are here?
please drop in and say hello, thank you.
for those of you who will be disgusted that i even attended the meeting, let alone allow my son to give his first public talk tonight, please, spare me the shouting messages.
i take full responsibility for what i experienced this evening.
yet, i feel the need to share this experience that has me enraged.
| Kudos to keeping it cool. In that situation, I would have lost it. He is your son, your blood. No one can take that away from you!!! Not even some half-wit organization claiming to do Gods will. Getting angry, is only playing their game. Its smoke/mirrors with them all the time. They are a slick bunch, with balls of steel, I give them that. Here's hoping it gets better mate. Cheers. HBTN |
.
although i am pleased when i hear about children of dubs who are pursuing sports at the high school, college and professionally level, it also disturbs me that so many of us in the past lost out on these opportunities because of the rigid views of the dubdum.. a friend of mine that is still active says that many of these changes or new light occurrs because thinking dubs stand up to the elders and make these personal decisions for their family without the advice of elders.. do you ever feel that you should/could stand up for your beliefs even when they are against the advice of elders, eventually you could inspire change within the religion?.
i ask because through out history change has ocurred because of standing up to those in authority.. examples, gandi, martin luther king, susan b. anthony to name just a few.. what are your thoughts?.
| this is so weird. I had a dream last night that I was back in high-school playing on my football team. Growing up in dub-dom, sports were not permitted, something about extra-curricular activities and worldly people. In grade 9, I was 6'0, 200lbs. I had every coach on the team, begging me to play. Even on parent-teacher night, the head coach told my dad, the team could really use me. Grrrrrrr.......... Stupid up-bringing. I missed out on so much. Instead, it was more bible-study for me...........a wonder that did for me. But c'est la vie. A time machine would be great right now. HBTN |
i was very stressed when i was an active jw.
i hated going to meetings, knocking at doors, preparing meetings and so on.. i hated talking in front of a group.
there was too much to read and to prepare, and never felt like i was good enough.. last night i took a walk and passed in front of the book study where i was just a few months ago.
| Its the pressure of it all that gets me. You are only accepted into the hive based upon your hours, your placements, your comments and your willingness to submit. I have elders in my hall who avoid me like the plague. One in particular completely avoids me, he and his whole household. And when they try to get you involved, there are probing questions, hints to do more, no real help. Just self-righteous goading. I was out in service a couple of weeks ago, and the brother I was with blew his head gasket on his car. $900 job. I invited him and his wife over for dinner that night. This is the same brother, who breaks my balls for missing meetings for work, and for skipping out on service............... It doesnt matter how hard you try to be a good person, a loving person, if you are not doing your part for the 'slave', you are nothing more than fodder. Its the conditional love that truly makes me sad and stressed. |
woke up saturday morning, after a nice night of drinking with buddies.
had to get ready for my bookstudy---yeccch.. drag my ass to the arrangement, bo (bookstudy overseer) asks if i can read today.
bahhhhh.
| Finally Free had it right. I still have much of my family still in, and to keep those ties, i sit through these meetings to keep them. Dont get me wrong, there are some good good people in my congregation, really genuinely happy people. But sadly, I dont share many of their beliefs anymore. Hope that answers your question Defd. We all have our own reasons for the things we do. I wish I could just walk away, but its not that simple. HBTN |
woke up saturday morning, after a nice night of drinking with buddies.
had to get ready for my bookstudy---yeccch.. drag my ass to the arrangement, bo (bookstudy overseer) asks if i can read today.
bahhhhh.
| Woke up saturday morning, after a nice night of drinking with buddies. Had to get ready for my bookstudy---yeccch. Drag my ass to the arrangement, BO (bookstudy overseer) asks if I can read today. bahhhhh. I hadnt prepared so I didnt really know what we were studying. Anyways, he gives me a big long speech on Nabonidus and the pronunciation of his name. Inside Im thinking, who cares, Jehover smote him anyways, so whats the point??. Anyways, I didnt realize this study was the explanation of the 607 thingy. As I am reading it, Im stewing inside, 2,520 days, we must apply the rule day for a year, blah blah blah blah blah. Anyways, our service arrangement is right after, and I have no intentions of going in service. My BO and his son, are talking in the corner, and I see them looking judgingly as I quietly leave. The son is annoying lil zealot type.........Wanker!!! The rest of my Saturday was great, did some shopping, ate a nice lunch and won 2 texas hold-em tourneys online. Cheers. HBTN |
long time reader, 1st time poster.. still in the 'borg'.
trying to disconnect from the hive.
family and many friends are still in.
| Thank you all for the kind words. Its very hard living in silence. Bottling up feelings. Looking forward to joining in the posts. |
long time reader, 1st time poster.. still in the 'borg'.
trying to disconnect from the hive.
family and many friends are still in.
| Long time reader, 1st time poster. Still in the 'borg'. Trying to disconnect from the hive. Family and many friends are still in. Not quite ready to walk away yet. Been Df'd twice before, and obviously was not a pleasant time. Post traumatic stress disorder, and anger issues have plagued me since as has a bruised ego and a removal of nearly all self-esteem. being called a 'dog returning to its vomit' by elders claiming to do gods will, will do that to someone. I've been reinstated for over 2 years now........but the anger and rage is still inside.......It consumes me. Hoping to find some peace and light at the end of this very long dub tunnel. "our father who art in heaven........... HALLOWEDBETHYNAME |