Well I've had my mom break things on me which would either hurt like hell or not hurt at all and dad used his belt but yeah I had a lot of abuse on both the physical and psychological ends of the spectrum but lucky I was smart enough to not be fooled most of the time. My mom got so bad a couple times to where my dad pulled her off and flipped out on her. Ironic how things seem to be now as compared to what they once were. I even wrote a book about it. I stopped asking a while ago about some things. Mom went through things as a kid too so I guess I had it taken out on me too. I guess it gets frustraiting when you can't warp your own kid's mind. Sometimes I felt like the parent or had at least one person to contradict my mom in front of me or take my side usually.
Jolinar
JoinedPosts by Jolinar
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55
New Here Sorta
by Jolinar ini stumbled across this site last august and created an account but a series of events led me to run away (i can post the story if you like) and i have been moving around a bit until i finally got settled some.
along the way due to my mother's sheltering i had some bad experience because i didn't know as much about the real world as i should have.
i ingested as i have before a psychoactive one night and a surge of memories came rushing back to me of my childhood and a massive handfull of them were tied to the time i was made to endure going to the kingdom hall and socializing with many members outside of.
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55
New Here Sorta
by Jolinar ini stumbled across this site last august and created an account but a series of events led me to run away (i can post the story if you like) and i have been moving around a bit until i finally got settled some.
along the way due to my mother's sheltering i had some bad experience because i didn't know as much about the real world as i should have.
i ingested as i have before a psychoactive one night and a surge of memories came rushing back to me of my childhood and a massive handfull of them were tied to the time i was made to endure going to the kingdom hall and socializing with many members outside of.
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Jolinar
The earliest memory I can recall and one of the boldest ones from my childhood is all of a sudden out of nowhere I was standing there in my diaper next to a sizable box, a little taller than me, crying hard with my mom screaming in my face for no reason that I can understand at least. My dad worked at Big Bear Plus at the time, a grocery store, and brought home boxes from storage after doing stock all the time. Anyway, I was putting my toys in the box and my mom was throwing my stuff in there too. I think at least one thing also hit me and probably hurt me but I do remember carelessness on her part. The rest of my childhood before those moments feels like an entire blackout. Maybe I've also seen some things I shouldn't have or who knows what happened. Is that what you mean?
Is there an IRC Channel for this site or related? -
55
New Here Sorta
by Jolinar ini stumbled across this site last august and created an account but a series of events led me to run away (i can post the story if you like) and i have been moving around a bit until i finally got settled some.
along the way due to my mother's sheltering i had some bad experience because i didn't know as much about the real world as i should have.
i ingested as i have before a psychoactive one night and a surge of memories came rushing back to me of my childhood and a massive handfull of them were tied to the time i was made to endure going to the kingdom hall and socializing with many members outside of.
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Jolinar
Yes that definitely makes things challenging. You wouldn't believe what high school was like. I never ate because I had such bad nerves that I'd get sick if I tried. All I could do is maybe have a snack from the vending machine. My first year a good day in school was one where I only got sick 5 times a day. Having a cult and whatever disorder I have and have yet to determine (that one seems the closest yet with Asperger's but a friend ditched our friendship at the mere suggestion) what it is I just know something's up and that I've always had to pay earlier in life around the other kids for being so different. Mental (even though intelligent), JW, guess my sexuality, the list goes on. I feel I must unlock this piece of the puzzle though and it will help resolve the rest. My mom does say the same to me too that she'll always love me and still cares.
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55
New Here Sorta
by Jolinar ini stumbled across this site last august and created an account but a series of events led me to run away (i can post the story if you like) and i have been moving around a bit until i finally got settled some.
along the way due to my mother's sheltering i had some bad experience because i didn't know as much about the real world as i should have.
i ingested as i have before a psychoactive one night and a surge of memories came rushing back to me of my childhood and a massive handfull of them were tied to the time i was made to endure going to the kingdom hall and socializing with many members outside of.
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Jolinar
Thanks everyone. I just got off the phone with my mom and .... does anyone find it hard to talk with their mom if they are a JW and you are a former?
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55
New Here Sorta
by Jolinar ini stumbled across this site last august and created an account but a series of events led me to run away (i can post the story if you like) and i have been moving around a bit until i finally got settled some.
along the way due to my mother's sheltering i had some bad experience because i didn't know as much about the real world as i should have.
i ingested as i have before a psychoactive one night and a surge of memories came rushing back to me of my childhood and a massive handfull of them were tied to the time i was made to endure going to the kingdom hall and socializing with many members outside of.
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Jolinar
awwwww I miss Baltimore. I recently lived in York PA and I used to see a very good friend of mine there since it's not a far drive. He really helped me out emotionally in some rough and unforgiving times and I miss him dearly for it. It's not too bad a place huh? I almost moved in with him but a bum who was just kicked out by his (ex?) fiancee and staying on their couch so they didn't think they could take on two extra people for a 2-person place. I had money for rent saved and I would have slept in his room not the couch but eh it was a lot still so I ran off to Cali instead.
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55
New Here Sorta
by Jolinar ini stumbled across this site last august and created an account but a series of events led me to run away (i can post the story if you like) and i have been moving around a bit until i finally got settled some.
along the way due to my mother's sheltering i had some bad experience because i didn't know as much about the real world as i should have.
i ingested as i have before a psychoactive one night and a surge of memories came rushing back to me of my childhood and a massive handfull of them were tied to the time i was made to endure going to the kingdom hall and socializing with many members outside of.
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Jolinar
I was one of those kids that was very observant but also kept inside almost like an autism spectrum kid, (who knows if I am?) and the whole environment made me quite uncomfortable plus noone seemed to be able to have their stories synchonised with every other person or sometimes the stories changed. I would remember things and then have something completely different explained later. Poor explanation left me to believe other things or leave lots of room open for interpretation. Most people seemed to contradict the religion to my mom in front of me and something just didn't seem right. A kid doesn't respond well to you telling him all his non-JW friends or aquaitances are going to die when the new system comes about either. It always seemed like I could be spending my time doing better things or being a normal kid having more fun than I was being allowed. You take something from a child when you deny them a social life or a active childhood. I would not be who I am today had it not been for a few friends, heavy reading of the books in the house, and my own natural strong-willed tendencies or strong mind to protect myself. It can really bring a sense of disturbance thinking of what might have been.
Yeah I think you'd call where I live more South Bay. I moved here Christmas day last year starting out in San Francisco. -
55
New Here Sorta
by Jolinar ini stumbled across this site last august and created an account but a series of events led me to run away (i can post the story if you like) and i have been moving around a bit until i finally got settled some.
along the way due to my mother's sheltering i had some bad experience because i didn't know as much about the real world as i should have.
i ingested as i have before a psychoactive one night and a surge of memories came rushing back to me of my childhood and a massive handfull of them were tied to the time i was made to endure going to the kingdom hall and socializing with many members outside of.
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Jolinar
Middle Bay Area more or less. About halfway from SF and SJ
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55
New Here Sorta
by Jolinar ini stumbled across this site last august and created an account but a series of events led me to run away (i can post the story if you like) and i have been moving around a bit until i finally got settled some.
along the way due to my mother's sheltering i had some bad experience because i didn't know as much about the real world as i should have.
i ingested as i have before a psychoactive one night and a surge of memories came rushing back to me of my childhood and a massive handfull of them were tied to the time i was made to endure going to the kingdom hall and socializing with many members outside of.
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Jolinar
Look at how many times my name appears for having helped translate writings in the show: http://forum.gateworld.net/showthread.php?t=13522 It was definitely a good escape and helped pull me out of the life I once lived under things. From there I grew up a little more like I should have and learned the things a person needs to know about life.
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55
New Here Sorta
by Jolinar ini stumbled across this site last august and created an account but a series of events led me to run away (i can post the story if you like) and i have been moving around a bit until i finally got settled some.
along the way due to my mother's sheltering i had some bad experience because i didn't know as much about the real world as i should have.
i ingested as i have before a psychoactive one night and a surge of memories came rushing back to me of my childhood and a massive handfull of them were tied to the time i was made to endure going to the kingdom hall and socializing with many members outside of.
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Jolinar
As do I. See my work? :)
http://micsg7.googlepages.com/
I am going to try to stick around. There are still pieces of my childhood to unlock or that I don't understand but each location is unique and so I'm not sure if everything was standard or not. I figure out something new off and on by myself but there might be things I need help with. I used to live in Ohio for 20 years but since I ran off I eventually ended up over here. -
55
New Here Sorta
by Jolinar ini stumbled across this site last august and created an account but a series of events led me to run away (i can post the story if you like) and i have been moving around a bit until i finally got settled some.
along the way due to my mother's sheltering i had some bad experience because i didn't know as much about the real world as i should have.
i ingested as i have before a psychoactive one night and a surge of memories came rushing back to me of my childhood and a massive handfull of them were tied to the time i was made to endure going to the kingdom hall and socializing with many members outside of.
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Jolinar
I stumbled across this site last August and created an account but a series of events led me to run away (I can post the story if you like) and I have been moving around a bit until I finally got settled some. Along the way due to my mother's sheltering I had some bad experience because I didn't know as much about the real world as I should have. I ingested as I have before a psychoactive one night and a surge of memories came rushing back to me of my childhood and a massive handfull of them were tied to the time I was made to endure going to the Kingdom Hall and socializing with many members outside of. About me personally, I attended because my mother is a JW and she started bringing me since I was a baby. She herself as a teenager was introduced to the group when someone showed up at the door (it probably being the only thing she had and a long story) and has been going with their beliefs since. I was bribed sometimes and urged over and over to keep going even though I didn't want to until I turned 12 (6th grade) until she finally got so fed up with the hassle it took to get ready to go dressing and being on time that she stopped all together even going herself and forcing me to. She must have had some hope and my brother didn't really go but she wanted me to and we are close on some levels despite having different ideals on most things in life. From the age of 2 years I knew something was wrong and rebelled from that point on but there was still damage done to me and my social life. On top of everyone knowing these things about me I am already also different as it is and have other things that set me apart from being accepted so such youths where I grew up because of the closed-mind attitudes that only erode once a person matures into adulthood. (children pick up on their parent's prejudices) I thought I'd throw myself out there and introduce myself and see if I can resolve some things or possibly even help others do the same.