is this thread dead?
Jolinar
JoinedPosts by Jolinar
-
55
New Here Sorta
by Jolinar ini stumbled across this site last august and created an account but a series of events led me to run away (i can post the story if you like) and i have been moving around a bit until i finally got settled some.
along the way due to my mother's sheltering i had some bad experience because i didn't know as much about the real world as i should have.
i ingested as i have before a psychoactive one night and a surge of memories came rushing back to me of my childhood and a massive handfull of them were tied to the time i was made to endure going to the kingdom hall and socializing with many members outside of.
-
-
-
55
New Here Sorta
by Jolinar ini stumbled across this site last august and created an account but a series of events led me to run away (i can post the story if you like) and i have been moving around a bit until i finally got settled some.
along the way due to my mother's sheltering i had some bad experience because i didn't know as much about the real world as i should have.
i ingested as i have before a psychoactive one night and a surge of memories came rushing back to me of my childhood and a massive handfull of them were tied to the time i was made to endure going to the kingdom hall and socializing with many members outside of.
-
-
Jolinar
I didn't realize with the spacing here that I needed to use the html tags to get it to work unlike any other forum I have used. I usually am well with spacing between separate ideas. I have taken some online tests and passed the minimum for the number of points determining someone is AS. Personally I don't think I need medicated though nor do I think I want to be but I was always pretty much who I am with or before I started to learn by experimenting. Once I start getting benefits I might try but I don't feel much like asking because I guess I expect a negative response and the only benefit I could get from it is cheaper travel, like my b/f who has SED, on public transport.
-
55
New Here Sorta
by Jolinar ini stumbled across this site last august and created an account but a series of events led me to run away (i can post the story if you like) and i have been moving around a bit until i finally got settled some.
along the way due to my mother's sheltering i had some bad experience because i didn't know as much about the real world as i should have.
i ingested as i have before a psychoactive one night and a surge of memories came rushing back to me of my childhood and a massive handfull of them were tied to the time i was made to endure going to the kingdom hall and socializing with many members outside of.
-
-
Jolinar
Another good one is the one I got to somewhat often www.aspiesforfreedom.com . I actually just the other day read that wikipedia page you posted so I guess that works. lol I have tried many a psychedelic or other substance or herbal myself like 1-3 times each so I can learn by reading and doing and I've compiled a list. I've tried about half the things in that article. It's like I can tell you what it's like growing up in a JW society better than someone who's only read about the experiences of others right? I learn more by having personal experience with these things. Good idea if you have good mind and control of yourself. I do know what you mean and I share so much in common with people who are AS rather than NT. I have researched many psychological variations of the mind for years yet nothing (although some came close) has ever hit the nail in the head like that one has. All the symptoms, the life as you describe, the fact my cousin isn't but he's autistic which is almost the same thing or in the spectrum of it. I have read some entries from the book you described and have taken the time to learn about Schulgan from time to time. Guess I'm on the same page with you here huh? Anyhow about to go read my PM's as you suggested. Hope all of this writing here is of some interest to someone or encouragement to more pick at my brain to solve the riddles in each other brain here.
-
55
New Here Sorta
by Jolinar ini stumbled across this site last august and created an account but a series of events led me to run away (i can post the story if you like) and i have been moving around a bit until i finally got settled some.
along the way due to my mother's sheltering i had some bad experience because i didn't know as much about the real world as i should have.
i ingested as i have before a psychoactive one night and a surge of memories came rushing back to me of my childhood and a massive handfull of them were tied to the time i was made to endure going to the kingdom hall and socializing with many members outside of.
-
-
Jolinar
What's Yours?
-
55
New Here Sorta
by Jolinar ini stumbled across this site last august and created an account but a series of events led me to run away (i can post the story if you like) and i have been moving around a bit until i finally got settled some.
along the way due to my mother's sheltering i had some bad experience because i didn't know as much about the real world as i should have.
i ingested as i have before a psychoactive one night and a surge of memories came rushing back to me of my childhood and a massive handfull of them were tied to the time i was made to endure going to the kingdom hall and socializing with many members outside of.
-
-
Jolinar
It usually works out that way too doesn't it? A person's life is offensive to another because of beliefs and their religion is offensive to the other person. Um, Are there any psychonauts here in this forum?
-
55
New Here Sorta
by Jolinar ini stumbled across this site last august and created an account but a series of events led me to run away (i can post the story if you like) and i have been moving around a bit until i finally got settled some.
along the way due to my mother's sheltering i had some bad experience because i didn't know as much about the real world as i should have.
i ingested as i have before a psychoactive one night and a surge of memories came rushing back to me of my childhood and a massive handfull of them were tied to the time i was made to endure going to the kingdom hall and socializing with many members outside of.
-
-
Jolinar
Well I've had my mom break things on me which would either hurt like hell or not hurt at all and dad used his belt but yeah I had a lot of abuse on both the physical and psychological ends of the spectrum but lucky I was smart enough to not be fooled most of the time. My mom got so bad a couple times to where my dad pulled her off and flipped out on her. Ironic how things seem to be now as compared to what they once were. I even wrote a book about it. I stopped asking a while ago about some things. Mom went through things as a kid too so I guess I had it taken out on me too. I guess it gets frustraiting when you can't warp your own kid's mind. Sometimes I felt like the parent or had at least one person to contradict my mom in front of me or take my side usually.
-
55
New Here Sorta
by Jolinar ini stumbled across this site last august and created an account but a series of events led me to run away (i can post the story if you like) and i have been moving around a bit until i finally got settled some.
along the way due to my mother's sheltering i had some bad experience because i didn't know as much about the real world as i should have.
i ingested as i have before a psychoactive one night and a surge of memories came rushing back to me of my childhood and a massive handfull of them were tied to the time i was made to endure going to the kingdom hall and socializing with many members outside of.
-
-
Jolinar
The earliest memory I can recall and one of the boldest ones from my childhood is all of a sudden out of nowhere I was standing there in my diaper next to a sizable box, a little taller than me, crying hard with my mom screaming in my face for no reason that I can understand at least. My dad worked at Big Bear Plus at the time, a grocery store, and brought home boxes from storage after doing stock all the time. Anyway, I was putting my toys in the box and my mom was throwing my stuff in there too. I think at least one thing also hit me and probably hurt me but I do remember carelessness on her part. The rest of my childhood before those moments feels like an entire blackout. Maybe I've also seen some things I shouldn't have or who knows what happened. Is that what you mean?
Is there an IRC Channel for this site or related? -
55
New Here Sorta
by Jolinar ini stumbled across this site last august and created an account but a series of events led me to run away (i can post the story if you like) and i have been moving around a bit until i finally got settled some.
along the way due to my mother's sheltering i had some bad experience because i didn't know as much about the real world as i should have.
i ingested as i have before a psychoactive one night and a surge of memories came rushing back to me of my childhood and a massive handfull of them were tied to the time i was made to endure going to the kingdom hall and socializing with many members outside of.
-
-
Jolinar
Yes that definitely makes things challenging. You wouldn't believe what high school was like. I never ate because I had such bad nerves that I'd get sick if I tried. All I could do is maybe have a snack from the vending machine. My first year a good day in school was one where I only got sick 5 times a day. Having a cult and whatever disorder I have and have yet to determine (that one seems the closest yet with Asperger's but a friend ditched our friendship at the mere suggestion) what it is I just know something's up and that I've always had to pay earlier in life around the other kids for being so different. Mental (even though intelligent), JW, guess my sexuality, the list goes on. I feel I must unlock this piece of the puzzle though and it will help resolve the rest. My mom does say the same to me too that she'll always love me and still cares.
-
55
New Here Sorta
by Jolinar ini stumbled across this site last august and created an account but a series of events led me to run away (i can post the story if you like) and i have been moving around a bit until i finally got settled some.
along the way due to my mother's sheltering i had some bad experience because i didn't know as much about the real world as i should have.
i ingested as i have before a psychoactive one night and a surge of memories came rushing back to me of my childhood and a massive handfull of them were tied to the time i was made to endure going to the kingdom hall and socializing with many members outside of.
-
-
Jolinar
Thanks everyone. I just got off the phone with my mom and .... does anyone find it hard to talk with their mom if they are a JW and you are a former?
-
55
New Here Sorta
by Jolinar ini stumbled across this site last august and created an account but a series of events led me to run away (i can post the story if you like) and i have been moving around a bit until i finally got settled some.
along the way due to my mother's sheltering i had some bad experience because i didn't know as much about the real world as i should have.
i ingested as i have before a psychoactive one night and a surge of memories came rushing back to me of my childhood and a massive handfull of them were tied to the time i was made to endure going to the kingdom hall and socializing with many members outside of.
-
-
Jolinar
awwwww I miss Baltimore. I recently lived in York PA and I used to see a very good friend of mine there since it's not a far drive. He really helped me out emotionally in some rough and unforgiving times and I miss him dearly for it. It's not too bad a place huh? I almost moved in with him but a bum who was just kicked out by his (ex?) fiancee and staying on their couch so they didn't think they could take on two extra people for a 2-person place. I had money for rent saved and I would have slept in his room not the couch but eh it was a lot still so I ran off to Cali instead.
