dezpbem

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Posts by dezpbem

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  22

  Intro- any ex-jw's from nyc?

  by dezpbem in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi my name is desi.

  i'm an ex-jw from the bronx.

  just thought i'd intro myself to the group.. are there any other ex-jw's here from nyc?.

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  dezpbem

  Again thanks to all for the welcome.

  Tophat, Queens counts for sure :-)

  Lonelysheep happy early birthday wish. I'll let you know if i'm going for sure to the meetup. Hopefully by that time we hav a few people who will know if they'll go or not. I think it will be fun. We can all remember our favorite JW superstitions (i.e. the smurfs are demonic...BWAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!).

  Let's see who else by then signs on for it.

  Hey HL too bad your all the way out in Oklahoma :-(

  We'll have to drag youe ass out here to nyc one day (wink). And why'd ya change your avatar back?

  I like the cute little fairy thingy.

  Cheers, bottoms up, and all that good stuff!
• 
  61

  Did you read ..........THAT........book...............

  by vitty in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  .

  .............. coc, of course.

  when you were still in the org, or when you had already left.. i read it when i was still in and it had a profound effect on me.. lets take a poll .

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  dezpbem

  I've been meaning to get it.

  How good is it?

  Which of his books is the best one?

  Thanks

  Dez
• 
  37

  What Decisions Did You Make Only Because You Were A Witness?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i believe that most jws are deep down inside angry over the fact that they went along with the status quo and the majority just to be accepted.

  some witnesses would like to have a tattoo, a mustache, a shaved head, a beard, a new red sportscar, etc.

  but they don't because they would be viewed as "immature".

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  dezpbem

  Wow! Big question.
  I can relate to most of what everyone has said.
  The worst was not being allowed to have friends. I felt this overwhelming feeling of loneliness. I still feel that loneliness to this day. Anyone else still deal with that?

  I too couldn't practice yoga (which I wanted to), martial arts, go to alot of movies, etc.
  I got to watch other people have sex (ehr...not really "watch", hehe) and date while I had to ignore potential girlfriends. I didn't go to any proms or graduation trips in my life, urghhh!

  I used to df/shun people well after I left the witnesses. It took a long time to figure out that the problem was me and not them. I found something wrong with everyone and would push all potential friends away or keep them at a distance.

  Sound familiar to anyone?
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  22

  Intro- any ex-jw's from nyc?

  by dezpbem in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi my name is desi.

  i'm an ex-jw from the bronx.

  just thought i'd intro myself to the group.. are there any other ex-jw's here from nyc?.

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  dezpbem

  Speaking of the meetup in nyc...

  It will be Saturday nov 5th at 5pm in manhattan.

  Anyone else from nyc interested in going?
• 
  45

  Feeling sooo isolated.....

  by Michelle5480 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  .

  hello to all, i was raised pretty much as a jw and became one of the super goodie two shoes type, you know......didnt even swear when i was alone.. im now disfellowshipped and since i followed the guideline of not having friends outside the organization i now find myself completely alone, my friends are all jw's and none of them can talk to me.

  so now i feel lost....on another planet almost .

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  dezpbem

  Thanks Lady Lee. Sorry for that. I'll continue where I left off. Many ex-jw's have an odd habit of pushing people away. Watch for this reaction in yourself when making new friends. If not kept in check it will destroy new relationships. The 1st is a tendency to find something wrong with someone, focus on what's wrong, then "df" them. The judgement reasoning we were taught kicks in here and looks to find flaws with the people you meet. The trouble is That if your mind looks for flaws it will find them since everyone has them. Find them and you focus on them. Focus on them and you will judge the person by them. Judge the person by them and you'll "df" them. "Df'ing" potential mew friends is a big problem for many of us ex-witnesses. The next is a habbit of keeping people at a safe distance. We tend to make friendships then keep them from getting too close. Watch for that one. If you have this pattern you'll swear there's something wrong with nearly everyone and find excuses to push them away. There are more. But if you watch for these and control them you'll find your ahead of the game earlier on than most of us. We tend to have an arsenal of methods to stop friendships from forming but little awareness that were doing it. Dez
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  45

  Feeling sooo isolated.....

  by Michelle5480 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  .

  hello to all, i was raised pretty much as a jw and became one of the super goodie two shoes type, you know......didnt even swear when i was alone.. im now disfellowshipped and since i followed the guideline of not having friends outside the organization i now find myself completely alone, my friends are all jw's and none of them can talk to me.

  so now i feel lost....on another planet almost .

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  dezpbem

  Whoops!

  Sorry about that! I hit a key by accident that some how posted my post multiple times before I sent it.

  How did I do that? Anyone know? I don't want to make that mistake again.

  Is there a way to erase all those multiple posts? I'll finish my reply after I find a way to fix this.

  Sorry again.
• 
  45

  Feeling sooo isolated.....

  by Michelle5480 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  .

  hello to all, i was raised pretty much as a jw and became one of the super goodie two shoes type, you know......didnt even swear when i was alone.. im now disfellowshipped and since i followed the guideline of not having friends outside the organization i now find myself completely alone, my friends are all jw's and none of them can talk to me.

  so now i feel lost....on another planet almost .

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  dezpbem

  Hello Michelle,

  I think most ex-jw's i've known have problems making new friends so your not alone. Since we start off with this problem it's important not to be passive with it. In other words if you wait for friends to come to you you won't have many when you have this as a difficulty. You have to be aggressive with this one and make new friendships happen. The ex-jw's i've known who don't do this usually stay lonely.

  I don't know if you live in a busy city or slow town. If you live in or near a city try going to an evening class on topics, crafts, hobbies, or sports you have an interest in. Make it a point to introduce yourself to everyone there. It's helpful to go where people are at that you share interests with.

  A few important points from the opposite side of the coin.

  Many ex-jw's have an odd habit of pushing people away. Watch for this reaction in yourself when making new friends. If not kept in check it will destroy new relationships. The 1st is a tendency to find something wrong with someone, focus on what's wrong, then "df" them. The judgement reasoning we were taught kicks in here and looks to find flaws with the people you meet. The trouble id
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  22

  Intro- any ex-jw's from nyc?

  by dezpbem in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi my name is desi.

  i'm an ex-jw from the bronx.

  just thought i'd intro myself to the group.. are there any other ex-jw's here from nyc?.

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  dezpbem

  Hey Miriam!!!!

  I'm unsure myself if i'm going to bbq yet. I'm really thinking of going. If I don't go this time then i'm going the next.

  I've been thinking of going for a couple of months but didn't want to go by myself. If I go will you?

  I also just wrote to stevenyc to ask about his party. If he'll have me i'll will go there for sure. Are you going?

  Thanks to the replys from all of you.

  Lady Lee i've put up a request to be placed on the map. Thanks.

  Horrible Life...LOL you are hilarious! Happy birthday. I do'nt mind people from other areas at all. And thanks for the compliment.

  Your making me blush!

  To Newyork44m- as far as lunch...you may want to check out what Miriam and myself are talking about with bbq. There's a site that has meetup

  groups for ex-jw's. They meet up to eat once a month. You could join us when we go.The website for the nyc group is

  http://exjw.meetup.com/110/

  I have a profile up at

  http://exjw.meetup.com/110/members/2291032/

  I didn't write much but my pic is much clearer there. Some of you from other areas may want to check if they have a meetup group

  in your neck of the woods. Or start your own.

  Desi

  And thanks again Miriam for showing me this site. This place is huge! I felt lost when I first found it.
• 
  157

  Where are you on the map? New Maps

  by Lady Lee in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ok there are so many americans on the map now i had to split you all in half.. valis was kind enough to let me place the maps on his website until i found a new home for them.. photobucket seems to be a good option - at least for now.

  so i have uploaded the new maps which have been updated to include everyone who has asked.. so if you were wondering where we are from.

  or how close you are to other jwd posters in your area just take a look.

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  dezpbem

  Hi

  Can you put me on the map too?

  I'm from nyc.

  Thanks

  Desi
• 
  22

  Intro- any ex-jw's from nyc?

  by dezpbem in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi my name is desi.

  i'm an ex-jw from the bronx.

  just thought i'd intro myself to the group.. are there any other ex-jw's here from nyc?.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  dezpbem

  Hi my name is Desi. I'm an ex-jw from the Bronx. Just thought i'd intro myself to the group.

  Are there any other ex-jw's here from nyc?