i believe that most jws are deep down inside angry over the fact that they went along with the status quo and the majority just to be accepted.
some witnesses would like to have a tattoo, a mustache, a shaved head, a beard, a new red sportscar, etc.
but they don't because they would be viewed as "immature".
That reminds me of a decision I almost made...I wanted to end it all myself as a teenager.
I couldn't handle the pain of all the isolation. No friends. No social life. No girlfriends.
So I almost made that descision myself.
But I held out and we left the JW for good before I did.
It seems at least a few of us here have almost been driven to the end by them.
Good to see we stuck it through. I'm left to wonder how many don't...
what's real popular right now that you just cannot stand.
1. desperate housewives-no offense but a bunch of middle aged women running around having sex?
2. beyonce!
1. Jehovah's witnesses still knocking on my door after all these years (well, at least someone still cares about me, lol).
2. Flings
3. Alcoholism- is it me or is drinking out of hand in our society? Nothing wrong with getting a buzz sometime but god damn!
4. Emotional abuse in relationships (seems to be as popular for people to mistreat eachother as any fad)
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please tell me that not all men are only interested in the size of a girls chest.. come on you men, restore my faith in males.
I personally look to the person she really is in her heart and mind. I don't care if she has the biggest boobs and everything else a man could want in a woman's body if she's lacking in those 2 above. They come before all else. I don't want to paint an overly broad generalization but most women i've met whjo had too much in the looks department were really lacking in the rest. I'm sure there are exceptions.
Here's a funny dating story that happened recently to me. I was interested in a woman who didn't hae a pretty face, was overweight, had a small chest...basically wasn't appealing physically. But on the inside I thought shes wonderful. I really liked her...and when I told her I found out she didn't like me because of my looks! Hahaha! In the end I find it funny that I didn't judge her for her looks but she was focused on mine. Oh well, in the end I guess she was more shallow than I thought. Goes to show you that it isn't just men who judge by the external.
Dez
i believe that most jws are deep down inside angry over the fact that they went along with the status quo and the majority just to be accepted.
some witnesses would like to have a tattoo, a mustache, a shaved head, a beard, a new red sportscar, etc.
but they don't because they would be viewed as "immature".
Scully
Lol! I'm new to the forum. I had to laugh when I saw you put "tm" next to "Elder" and "Worldly"....
BWAHAHaahahaahahhaaha!!!!!!!
That was great!
Lady Lee wrote
Whoah. That is a harsh thing to go through. That's the first time i've heard of that situation. It's kind of the reverse of a usual situation of adultery. You did it to get out of the relationship. I'm sorry to hear of the harsh effect it had on your self-esteem. How did you get over that?
i believe that most jws are deep down inside angry over the fact that they went along with the status quo and the majority just to be accepted.
some witnesses would like to have a tattoo, a mustache, a shaved head, a beard, a new red sportscar, etc.
but they don't because they would be viewed as "immature".
Hey Enosant,
That was an interesting story.
you find that you can't bring yourself to let others get too close, even pushing them away (old habbit dying hard). I find I'm still finding myself doing that now. Do you find yourself dong that too? Collecting a large number of acquiantances, that you keep a 'safe' distance away, always finding some excuse not to spend time with them?
Yep, same here. I've been working at that one a while. Interesting story...wanna drive yourself batty trying to develope friendships? Let me give you the instruction manual! In the past few years i've had several ex-jw friends.Trouble is they have the same "push you away" pattern going on! So I would put time into hanging out with them, being there on the phone to hear their problems and help them through it, all that good stuff. Only to find that because of their issues with this they would push our friendship away since I would be getting too close. Or they would get paranoid that you were up to no good and out to get them since you were so concerned and helpful. It can be real hard to make deep friendships with other ex-jw's if it's more than internet contact. I mean REAAALL hard, LOL!!!! I'll still make friends with other ex-jw's, don't get me wrong. But I won't be as quick to go all out and be the "i'm really there for you" true friend. It hasn't proven worth it. I've even had some bad mouth me after helping them like no one ever helped them before. Give too much and it tends to backfire on you. Anyone else have anything like this?
I said
I got to watch other people have sex (ehr...not really "watch", hehe) and date while I had to ignore potential girlfriends.
You responded
Imagine gettting through college and 4 years at uni and still end up a virgin at 24...
No sex or fooling around through college or uni. Thought that needed repeating 'cos for a full blooded male that kinda sucks ...
I'm wondering how did the women out there feel about going through this? All the sexual repression, no worldly dates, no boyfriends, etc. How was it being a "full blooded" female and living through that? As bad for you as for us? Did any of you (male or female) kind of go nuts with the dating thing after you left to make up for lost time?
hi my name is desi.
i'm an ex-jw from the bronx.
just thought i'd intro myself to the group.. are there any other ex-jw's here from nyc?.
Again thanks to all for the welcome.
Tophat, Queens counts for sure :-)
Lonelysheep happy early birthday wish. I'll let you know if i'm going for sure to the meetup. Hopefully by that time we hav a few people who will know if they'll go or not. I think it will be fun. We can all remember our favorite JW superstitions (i.e. the smurfs are demonic...BWAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!).
Let's see who else by then signs on for it.
Hey HL too bad your all the way out in Oklahoma :-(
We'll have to drag youe ass out here to nyc one day (wink). And why'd ya change your avatar back?
I like the cute little fairy thingy.
Cheers, bottoms up, and all that good stuff!
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.............. coc, of course.
when you were still in the org, or when you had already left.. i read it when i was still in and it had a profound effect on me.. lets take a poll .
I've been meaning to get it.
How good is it?
Which of his books is the best one?
Thanks
Dez
i believe that most jws are deep down inside angry over the fact that they went along with the status quo and the majority just to be accepted.
some witnesses would like to have a tattoo, a mustache, a shaved head, a beard, a new red sportscar, etc.
but they don't because they would be viewed as "immature".
Wow! Big question.
I can relate to most of what everyone has said.
The worst was not being allowed to have friends. I felt this overwhelming feeling of loneliness. I still feel that loneliness to this day. Anyone else still deal with that?
I too couldn't practice yoga (which I wanted to), martial arts, go to alot of movies, etc.
I got to watch other people have sex (ehr...not really "watch", hehe) and date while I had to ignore potential girlfriends. I didn't go to any proms or graduation trips in my life, urghhh!
I used to df/shun people well after I left the witnesses. It took a long time to figure out that the problem was me and not them. I found something wrong with everyone and would push all potential friends away or keep them at a distance.
Sound familiar to anyone?
hi my name is desi.
i'm an ex-jw from the bronx.
just thought i'd intro myself to the group.. are there any other ex-jw's here from nyc?.
Speaking of the meetup in nyc...
It will be Saturday nov 5th at 5pm in manhattan.
Anyone else from nyc interested in going?
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hello to all, i was raised pretty much as a jw and became one of the super goodie two shoes type, you know......didnt even swear when i was alone.. im now disfellowshipped and since i followed the guideline of not having friends outside the organization i now find myself completely alone, my friends are all jw's and none of them can talk to me.
so now i feel lost....on another planet almost .
Thanks Lady Lee. Sorry for that. I'll continue where I left off. Many ex-jw's have an odd habit of pushing people away. Watch for this reaction in yourself when making new friends. If not kept in check it will destroy new relationships. The 1st is a tendency to find something wrong with someone, focus on what's wrong, then "df" them. The judgement reasoning we were taught kicks in here and looks to find flaws with the people you meet. The trouble is That if your mind looks for flaws it will find them since everyone has them. Find them and you focus on them. Focus on them and you will judge the person by them. Judge the person by them and you'll "df" them. "Df'ing" potential mew friends is a big problem for many of us ex-witnesses. The next is a habbit of keeping people at a safe distance. We tend to make friendships then keep them from getting too close. Watch for that one. If you have this pattern you'll swear there's something wrong with nearly everyone and find excuses to push them away. There are more. But if you watch for these and control them you'll find your ahead of the game earlier on than most of us. We tend to have an arsenal of methods to stop friendships from forming but little awareness that were doing it. Dez
