Posts by riko

10

In Field Service was it

by oldflame in

.

when you went door to door did you find it easier to begin discussions easier with women or men ?.

i found it much easier with females than with males.

old people, men or women, most of them were at least polite and occasionally respectful of the fact you have a faith in god. But most of the time, a not-at-home would have suited me just fine....I got very good at knocking 'with a sponge' as my mam called it....barely loud enough for even us to hear. Then I'd tiptoe back down the garden path and close the gate VEERRY quietly behind me...

14

How were your presentations?

by Mysterious in

were you the kind that stayed up for hours the night before finding the perfect point and the perfect scripture...or were you the one that was hastily trying to through something together the morning of and panicking when you realized the circuit overseer was visiting.

and then there was me...i was lucky if i knew which magazines were "it" for that week, lucky if id read more than the first page, and developed a good deal of improve skill when that 25% "at home" rate popped up on my 1 door in 10. eeps.

im not sure if anyone realized just how seat of the pants my approach to field service actually was.

riko

oh wow, even now the word 'presentation' sends waves of terror through me. As not the most confident person in the world to begin with, I used to shake like crazy when I was holding the mags out to the householder, I must've looked a right tit. My approach was always take as long as I could to introduce the magazines, throw in the words 'bible' and 'jehovahs witnesses' and wait for the door to close in front of me. Much less frightening than them accepting the mags, I was so unprepared for this that I never knew what to say afterwards! As for return visits, it was a case of....'erm, here's the new magazines...um....hope you enjoy them...see you in 2 weeks!' I just never had the confidence or the conviction in what I was preaching

16

My First "Birthday" party!

by tall penguin in

my former colleagues at the clinic i used to work at took me out for lunch today.

what i didn't know was that they'd arranged a "birthday" party for me.

although my birthday isn't until june they wanted to celebrate the 25 birthdays i've missed while a jw.

riko

LOL I agree, henceforth birthdays must be celebrated for a whole week to make up for a lifetime of none.

Wow, that is special though, a very happy un-birthday to you, can you imagine how much you're gonna love your real birthday in june now?

22

Hi

by finallyfree05 in

i'm new and this is my first post......mine is a long story i will share later.

i'm at work and just wanted to say hi to you all

riko

Hi there finallyfree, I'm also very new here so I really look forward to hearing your story

33

My so-called life

by riko in

hello everyone..i just wanted to introduce myself and tell you a little bit about my experiences.. i'm 23, have been raised in the truth all my life.

when i was 18, i made a foolish decision to get married, something i knew deep down i wasn't ready for, still being very much in the 'bloom of youth'.

i reluctantly saw my future as being one of jehovahs witnesses and with all my adolescent drives, i moved away from home to marry a man with about the same maturity as me.

riko

Again, thanks so much for the warmth of your welcome and words of encourgement, it's comforting to know I'm not the first person to experience these feelings, in fact, there's more people out there than I realised! It's good not to feel so 'unique' in the experiences I've had, it gives me strength to read of the way many of you have overcome your past life and I hope to follow the same way.

I look forward to spending a lot more time on this board. Thanks

11

Serenity

by Jordan in

oh my god!

that film is beyond awesome!

if you're not doing anything else tonight go to your local cinema and see that film.

riko

Oh my....Firefly was one of the most amazing sci fi shows of recent years, cut down before it had chance to *ahem* fly

Serenity is a fantastic film, Nathan Fillion has me in stitches, he's such a great character, loveable but a total and utter git, with some of the best one-liners on tv.

I say, bring back firefly! Even though SPOILER ALERT****it'll never be the same again...

33

My so-called life

by riko in

hello everyone..i just wanted to introduce myself and tell you a little bit about my experiences.. i'm 23, have been raised in the truth all my life.

when i was 18, i made a foolish decision to get married, something i knew deep down i wasn't ready for, still being very much in the 'bloom of youth'.

i reluctantly saw my future as being one of jehovahs witnesses and with all my adolescent drives, i moved away from home to marry a man with about the same maturity as me.

riko

Wow, thank you everyone for your kind words. I've been on this forum for a couple of hours and already the people have given me more support and made me feel more welcome than 20 years in the 'Truth'. The Truth, it's ridiculous we're meant to refer to it as that, yet more manipulation. A child grows up calling it the truth, how could they question that if it's the truth.

Dansk, thank you for the welcome! You're right, I hope more people will open their eyes and see the orginisation for what it truly is, sooner rather than later, it's comforting to know there are people out there with more compassion in their little finger than the society in its entirety.

Dawn, thank you for the advice, a college course does sound like a good idea, it's almost like starting school again the way it should have happened the first time. It's something I have considered as well as counselling, I'm not sure how easy it is over here but I'll certainly look into it.

consider this your chance for a rebirth

I suppose when you're so far down, the only way is up, eh? jgnat, what you've been through is horrific, you have such amazing strength.

I'm so touched by the response I've got here, I can't thank you enough. It's so encouraging to meet people who have been in the same place as I am now and to see how strong they've become

thank you

33

My so-called life

by riko in

hello everyone..i just wanted to introduce myself and tell you a little bit about my experiences.. i'm 23, have been raised in the truth all my life.

when i was 18, i made a foolish decision to get married, something i knew deep down i wasn't ready for, still being very much in the 'bloom of youth'.

i reluctantly saw my future as being one of jehovahs witnesses and with all my adolescent drives, i moved away from home to marry a man with about the same maturity as me.

riko

Thanks for the words guys, sometimes you don't need anyone to give you solutions, you just need to know they're there.

JW's don't begin to see the irony of forcing people into bad decisions, then turning their backs on them when it falls apart.

That's certainly been my experience, the sad thing is, I've seen it happen to people who have accepted that it's their fault they've lost the elders help and strive to gain their approval again. Whatever happened to unconditional love?

6

Has this ever happened to you??

by young hearts, be free.. in

okay, about a week or so ago i flew back 'home' to nz to be with my mother and step-father - who's battle with cancer was coming to a quicker than expected end....unfortunately he passed away on thursday just gone (20th).

so on friday i went to visit my dad, who lives 30 mins south and we were talking about things - work, life, and we got to talking about my stepdad's death.

they both worked on the same site for a while and so they knew each other, and dad was sad to hear about his death.

riko

young hearts, I've had a similar experience.

2 years ago my sister-in-law died at the age of 25, everyone in the family were so convinced that we'd see her again that no-one grieved! I was beside myself with my grief but even my brother, her husband, didn't really cry til he left the Truth and all the lies and assumptions he'd been fed, had gone. They put their fingers in their ears and screw their eyes shut, if they can't see or hear it, it's not happening.

33

My so-called life

by riko in

hello everyone..i just wanted to introduce myself and tell you a little bit about my experiences.. i'm 23, have been raised in the truth all my life.

when i was 18, i made a foolish decision to get married, something i knew deep down i wasn't ready for, still being very much in the 'bloom of youth'.

i reluctantly saw my future as being one of jehovahs witnesses and with all my adolescent drives, i moved away from home to marry a man with about the same maturity as me.

riko

Hello everyone..I just wanted to introduce myself and tell you a little bit about my experiences.

I'm 23, have been raised in the Truth all my life. When I was 18, I made a foolish decision to get married, something I knew deep down I wasn't ready for, still being very much in the 'bloom of youth'. I reluctantly saw my future as being one of Jehovahs Witnesses and with all my adolescent drives, I moved away from home to marry a man with about the same maturity as me. I did try to back out of the marriage 3 weeks before the wedding, tearfully telling my parents I was petrified and couldn't go through with it. I was convinced to go ahead with it after a bit of violence from my father and my mother's terror at losing face in the Kingdom Hall. After all, what self-respecting witness family wants a daughter who has backed out of a serious commitment, a promise. I was reminded that God viewed an engagement the same as He viewed marriage. Things predictably didn't go well and I eventually left my husband, met someone else and was disfellowshipped. All within a year. My family turned their backs on me, I was a long way from home and my depression was consuming me.

A year later, I was so desperately lonely, I contacted my parents and asked if I could come home. They agreed on the condition I was repentent and that I would work to get reinstated. One of the biggest mistakes of my life. I was treated like a leper for a year, going to meetings as they started and leaving just after the prayer so no-one would have to feel uncomfortable in my presence. I would go into the car park, sit in the car and cry for half an hour before my family returned. Even though we used to pick up my Gran every meeting and take her with us, she wouldn't speak to me until I was reinstated. It happened eventually, after a humiliating grilling from the judicial committee.

That was around 2 years ago and I have since left home and stopped attending meetings. I decided my own hypocrisy could continue no longer, my heart is not in the Truth and it never was. Now, many of my 'friends' and family don't speak to me if they can help it. I still have a relationship with my mother, father and brothers but that's it and I've found that my world is very small. I never fitted in with anyone while growing up in the Truth and I wasn't allowed to associate with any of the 'worldly' kids which has left me in a state where I can't make friends or feel comfortable around anyone. I never developed any social skills through the restrictions imposed on me and I've suffered from depression for around 4 years, it becoming more serious in the last year. In short, I've lost my youth. I'm terrified of people, I'm even nervous about writing this, being told you've never done a thing right takes its toll eventually.

I've seen the society treat people terribly, most recently my own brother. He was widowed 2 years ago nearly, left with a little girl of 18months at the age of only 26. He stopped going to the meetings shortly after she died and then met a woman who had left her husband through his violence and sexual perversions and they fell in love and married a few months ago. They've both been through hell and they helped each other through it all. They were threatened with disfellowshipping a week ago for their 'unlawful' marriage due to my sister-in-law not divorcing on the grounds of adultery. Apparently, mental torture, beatings, sexual violence and slave labour aren't grounds enough. They escaped with a public reproval, despite the fact that both of them haven't been going to meetings for almost 2 years. The husband of my new sister-in-law is still giving talks as a ministerial servant and the elders sit in the hall listening to him, knowing him to be a wife-beater and rapist. He's now courting again and his new girlfriend has no idea of his nature, nor will she ever as long as the elders are covering it up. Incidentally, my sister in law was abused by her father who was locked up for molesting his children but still remained a brother in the congregation and no reproach was ever brought upon him. His family, even the ones abused as children, protected his good name til the day he died.

I always believed I was the only one who felt there was something wrong about the Truth, no-one else would question anything and if I ever did, it was always satan talking. Blind faith is what I was expected to have, and to question was allowing the devil into your mind. The amount of times we were warned about the internet, the devils highway, the warnings we had about the lies we'd see on there, I now understand why.

I apologise for the rambling, like a lot of people here I'm sure, I have a lot to say about the society and how its affected me personally. Thanks for reading this and I look forward to getting to know you all :)