Posts by Jamelle

93

What are you REALLY like?

by jwfacts in

it is strange chatting on the net, not knowing what everyone is really like.

do you pretend to be someone you are not?

i find it hard to know how to take people here sometimes, as words do not convey as much without seeing the facial expressions and hearing the tonal inflections.

Jamelle

I guess I'll jump in on this thread too - just to be friendly...

I am 27, recently married, no kids. I'm 5'11" with medium blond hair and greenish blue eyes. I need to lose weight but I'm not panicking yet.

I am a very social person - I like being around friends in large groups or small. I do alot of entertaining, especially this time of year. I think I would do well as a party planner or wedding coordinator - so instead I train people on how to use computer software - go figure!

I rarely meet someone I can't get along with - and I almost always like everyone. I like to look for the good in a person - the silver lining. I'm a good listener.

I love animals and can't get along without having a pet of some kind. (Right now we have 3 dogs and a bird.) I'm an avid reader of fantasy, science fiction, historical fiction and other misc titles that catch me eye. I like to craft, crochet and scrapbook. I laugh alot. The only time I cry is when watching a movie. I'm very patient.

Oh and my fav vegetables are cocoa beans and coffee beans.

19

Where is the love?

by sweet tee in

jw
friends

jw's are taught that their love is what identifies them as true christians.

but typing on another thread let me to this discovery:.

what i expected from witness friends and what i expect from my friends now are totally different.

Jamelle

Good topic! Looking back, I see little of love or even kindness in the congregations I grew up in. It was more like living in a soap opera - a really bad one.

One of the reasons I was so drawn to the "world" and "worldly" people was the kindness and interest they showed in me. I had been unpopular with the other kids in our hall for so long that it was intoxicating to realize that I really was somebody that others would truly like and want to be friends with.

Just a small piece to the larger puzzle of how I broke free - but important to me - as all the pieces are.

Real affection was non-existant. I think back of all those smiling faces and I think of bared teeth before an animal strikes. I remember a sister (someone who had alot of issues I think - but was friendly enough). I used to sit next to her at meetings sometimes. I was about 13 maybe, she was much older, late 30s I think.

During a couple meetings she put her arm around the back of my chair to hug me and left it there for a minute or two. Harmless - she wasn't been creepy - just nice. She was unmarried and missed not having children of her own. My mother told me I couldn't sit next to her anymore because people would think we were lesbians. WTF?!? Of all the really stupid, unbelieveable things that came out of my mother's mouth - that has got to be in the top 10!

13

Something I have noticed

by MuadDib in

jw
friends

the last few district conventions i've been to, i haven't really been paying attention.

at lunchtime i'd kind of just keep to myself and wander around.

and i started picking up on something.

Jamelle

I grew up in a cong with lots of young people. Well, for the longest time there were like 12 girls my age and 3 boys. One of the boys wasn't attractive at all. But all 3 of those boys were chased like you wouldn't believe. Or maybe you would.

Every girl I grew up with was married long ago. A few before they graduated from high school. When I was still hearing cong gossip (while I was still just fading) I was hearing that many of these marraiges weren't going so well. Surprise, surprise! Imagine that?

Girls/women have a 2nd class status in the JW faith - it isn't any wonder that they are often almost pathetically glad to find a man to "claim them". Not all girls were this way - but most of them I grew up with definitely were.

On the flip side, most of the boys - and as I got older there were more boys in the cong - waited until they were much older to marry. And they wouldn't marry someone their age, they would marry someone much younger.

I had a small crush on a guy that was 6 years older than me. Thought he would never consider me because I was so young. Ha! He married one of my little sister's friends. He was 31, she was 17! YUCK!

21

Who threw your first birthday party after leaving the organization?

by Mysterious in

jw
friends

who threw your first birthday party after you left the organization, or did you throw it for yourself?

my best friend threw mine, it was my 18th birthday.

she made a huge homemade cake for me with all 18 candles and icing.

Jamelle

My husband threw my first birthday party for me and it was a suprise. We started dating in March and my birthday was in August. He made all this food and bough umbrella tables and chairs for the yard. He invited my friends/co-workers and those of his friends that I'd really hit it off with at that point.

I was totally shocked! I couldn't stop smiling!

Hes a keeper.

28

Are you still an item of interest to the JW's?

by Honesty in

jw
friends

address marked on the back of a territory card as a do not call on?.

jw's staring at you from across the mall until you head over to say, hi?.

family members who are embarrassed by your presence?.

Jamelle

I don't think I'm an item of interest. I'm sure that when the gossiping kicks into full swing and newer congregation members get the update on all the "scandals" of the hall my name might come up from time to time.

I live in the next town over from where I used to go to the hall - so I rarely even see anyone. I usually see them when I'm grocery shopping at the Meijer that kind of sits between the two areas. I'll forget that it's Saturday morning around 10AM and that there will be a group taking break.

I don't think they know where I live. I've never had anyone come to me door. I've been waiting for it - I'm going to do something evil I just don't know what yet.

17

Taking control over our lives.

by Lady Lee in

jw
friends

this is such a huge issue for me.

i don't want anyone to tell me what to do or how to live.

in part this is due to the control that the wts and the elders had over my life.

Jamelle

As long as I can remember I have had the mantra "Never lose control". My best guess is that this was a direct response to the control my parents and the rest of the JW world tried to use on me.

I always had a rebellious heart - it often showed and I suffered the consequences. Now that I am free of the JW world I still have the need to be in control, but over time this need has softened to a more reasonable level.

Oddly enough, I have always wanted to please others, my parents, my peers - I just didn't want it badly enough to completely go along with the JW teachings. I could never truly make myself over with "the new personality" so to speak. Weird, huh?

I still have a desire to please others, to make them happy. But I have zero tolerence for being mistreated. I have learned life's lessons well and can spot someone trying to manipulate me a mile away - I avoid the situation or if I can't (like with a co-worker) I manipulate things right back so as to avoid situations where they can take advantage of me (like calling me after work hours to do things for them, taking credit for my work, etc.)

Control is still very important to me - but I try to keep things in perspective as much as I can.

4

Out of the Cocoon - New Book by Brenda Lee

by Cocoon in

jw
friends

.

has anyone read this book yet?

what did you like/dislike?

Jamelle

I am definitely going to order it - right now it's in my shopping cart on Amazon.

41

How did you meet your spouse?

by serendipity in

in our local sunday paper, there's a regular feature on how married couples met.

i've been touched by some of the stories.

i'm curious as to how you met your spouse.

Jamelle

I met my husband online - we quickly started talking on the phone - then dating, etc.

We were married in March of this year - by March of 2006 we'll have been together for over 4 years. Boy - that time has really flown!

53

What is on your 'current' reading list?

by AK - Jeff in

i mean stuff that is right now, this minute on your table or desk, not something you might read someday?.

my desk is currently littered with;why won't they listen?

ken hamwhat the cults believe.

Jamelle

Love this thread as I am an avid reader - I own lots and lots and lots of books!

My list of books I want to buy/get for Christmas/read are:

A Breath of Fire and Ice by Diana Gabaldon (Love this series - have all the other books)

A Feast For Crows by George R.R. Martin (The best fantasy series I've read in a long time, better than Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series even and I love those books too!)

Chanel And Her World by Edmonde Charles-Roux (Biography of Coco Chanel)

Books On Nightstand Right Now:

Louisa May Alcott's Christmas Collection (Group of short Christmas themed stories by the author of Little Women)

Skipping Christmas by John Grisham

The Favoured Child by Philippa Gregory

158

Huge shock!

by Crumpet in

jw
friends

i just got a major shock.

i can't believe the new levels of cruelty possible within families who are jws.. a friend on this board who i've known since i was a baby practically has managed to get me a picture of my little sister who i haven't seen for 8 years - the one who i've mentioned my dad said was working on the bethel quick build team.

the one who i've described my fears that she and my younger sister are staying single until armageddon.

Jamelle

Crumpet - I will add my feelings of sympathy to those that have already been posted. Your story really hit home with me due to my own situation which is very similar.

My family (mother, father and younger sister) have shunned me completely for years now. Although invited to my wedding they declined to come. We haven't spoken since. I could have died around Labor Day this year due to a blood clot that formed after routine knee surgery - I didn't call them to let them know I was in the hospital - I felt that I couldn't handle dealing with their issues on top of what I was already going through...

I guess what I am trying to say, with all the compassion I can, is that your family is missing out on YOUR life. And for doing that, they are both blind and foolish.

You deserve better than this! {{hug}}