User darth frosty

darth frosty

Joined

What can I say Born and raised in the cult. Believed it because it was presented to me in a very logical fashion. My mother was baptized back in 1954, she studied with an anointed sister. My goal from the age of 9 was to be a bethelite. I think I looked at bethel service as serving in the military a worthy duty. Got to bethel at the age of 22 after pioneering out of high school. Thankfully my mother wasn't so hard core she hated education. she encouraged all of her kids to go to college...Just in case. So I went to a vocational school and learned aircraft mechanics and got my associates degree. Ironically it was this degree that helped me get into bethel. When I arrived in 1994 at Brkln we were told How the society needed educated people. I thought that this would mean no more articles discouraging higher education. Wrong. It seems the society wants people smart enough to see through their crap and get an education despite them. When I arrived at bethel I found Out that my roommate was a fellow detroiter many people back home used to say I reminded them of. He had been there 10 years. Needless to say he turned out to be a complete a$$hole and I strongly resent the comparisons. His favorite pastime(when not hanging out in the city till 3am) was to give me lectures on proper behavior. Bethel shook and tore up all of my delusions about the organization. I thought when i was young and had all those dreams of serving at the house of god, That I would be surrounded be similar spiritual intellects. Boy was I wrong. Still I believed. After 2 years I left bethel and made the first mistake of many that would hold me to the organization longer than I should have stayed...I went back home to detroit. Looking back I realized that I should have went elsewhere to start anew and emplore the vulcan IDIC that I always admonished for others(IDIC is Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.) So I went home and did what I believe most bethelites try to do...reclaim the life I left behind. The rub is that you cant. The friends in the hall tend to creature worship you when you have been to bethel. Also to you have to deal with the whole money issue finding a job,etc. Of course here is where mistake number 2 came into play thus holding me to the BORG even longer...I moved back home. One of the greatest ways that the BORG keeps young people in is by Their parents and encouraging them to stay at home. By staying ensnared under your parents roof this accomplishes 2 things. First it keeps you trapped by the parents rule's(which usually include firm meeting attendance and everything that goes with that.) The second is it stunts your growth as an adult. You dont get a chance to truly stretch your wings and find your strength Than...I got married. Under all this I tried to remain true to the creed that I had loved so much as a child, but as time passed and changes to doctrine were made, it finally started to penetrate that all was not right with the witness religion. I was still trying to get back all of the 'glory' that I had lost by going to Bethel. Than it hit me. I was betrayed in the worst way by my best friend. Me and this guy had went to pioneer school together, both of us shared the dream of serving at bethel and in the last year of my service there we were roommates. During a CO visit my wife was out in service and the PO (who is a good friend of ours and still the only one who calls to see how we are doing) Told her that someone had made an accusation against me. It seems that I was going out to clubs and getting drunk(Now I will say that I did go out to clubs and drink but nowhere near as much and often as was represented.) Naturally my wife told me about this. Me being the direct no nonsense person I am, I asked him who made such accusations? This is where what little faith I had in the organization or the people in it crumbled. It was told that it was someone from another hall, that said they saw me. Now I'm the type of guy who doesn't hang with many people. It is very few who I term, in my heart and by my actions, a friend. So hearing this and being able to count on one hand the number of people I hang out with, let alone drink with...I am now puzzled. SO, I go to my 'friend' and tell him whats going on (at this point we are in the same congo.) He says he will try to find out what the deal is. This goes on for about 2 months with the elders knowing that they have to talk to me cause the allegation was made but scared( and I do mean afraid, they are all aware that I will turn the bible scripture's that allow me to face my accuser against them.) So during the public talk one sunday they say they want to talk to me. I am ready armed with all of the pertinent scriptures and righteous indignation. At the song between the talk and WT, I tell my 'friend' that the bro's want to talk to me and I will force them to reveal my accuser. Sadly for some reason I dont take notice that he left the meeting right after my telling him this. So we go to the back room me and 2 elders. I dont think I let them say the first words. I hit them with the scriptures from deut. and acts that say you have a right to face your accuser and plead your case. They acknowledge that I am right and they will tell me who made the accusations. They then proceed for the next 15 minutes to get me to make a promise. For 15 minutes they asked me to not seek retaliation and to not get mad and how the accuser really only sought my best interest. After they felt and I assured them, that I would not do anything, they told me it was my 'friend' who had made the charge against me. Needless to say my mouth dropped. They then reminded me of my promise not to hurt him. Y'no the funny thing is...they did not counsel me at all. They just spent all that time trying to make sure I dont do anything to harm him. Well after that I realized that I couldn't go to the hall. My 'friend' found it necessary to take a month hiatus from the meetings. When he did come back and I saw him I recalled the words from an X-Men comic "How does one put into words the purity of ultimate hatred." I am a man of my word so since just breaking the threshold of a hall, caused anger to well up in me, I decided to walk away. The religion, the beliefs, The doctrines, that I had so loved, argued for and reasoned in my mind to justify the inadequacies of, I gave up for my own word, for my promise. After a while I resolved my decision. Than naturally I began to seek what went wrong. Why had the beliefs and organizational structure that I believed in for so long failed me. It took more that 2 years in this self imposed exile before I could, with out guilt, type in the word Jehovah into a search engine and examine the results of what turned up. Ironically one of the first sites it led me to was this one. As I read and 'tested' the things I was reading about the BORG and its true nature it all made sense and put things into perspective. Now...I am at peace with myself, my life and my decisions. My ultimate belief now is I consider myself a spiritual atheist. I still only roll with a chosen few But they are real friends. Karl