Posts by CurlyQT

13

Just Saying HI!!!!

by normie67 in

jw
friends

well this is my 2nd post on this board, my first is down on the sex forum!

!i tried to give a little background on myself, sorry its a bit sporadic.

it is kind of tough to get your thoughts together.

OH MY GOSH!! ME TOO! I used to look up every scripture and make sure to make some little note about it later. Although closer to the end of my attending, I started making notes about things I didn't agree with. My parent's still thought I was so into studying... if they only knew.

97

Hello...Hello...Hello (cont) #3

by Prisca in

well someone had to do it, so it might as well be prim & proper prisca to do the honors in the sex forum...... .

this thread is for all newbies to introduce yourselves.

whatever you feel happy to reveal about yourself.

CurlyQT

Thank you,

To six of nine and Grunt:

Actually I have written them several letters telling them exactly how I feel. Something that I should have done from the start. That is the one thing I wish I could change about the whole situation. My dad is such a controlling man that if it's not what he wants to hear then he will never hear it... and so during that time, instead of standing up to him and facing him head on with my new found feelings, I closed up. More then I ever have in my whole life. I'm still trying to work my way through those walls to this day. They have had affects on all of my relationships... and continue to be something I work on day to day. After sending him my thoughts and feelings, I felt so much better. I made sure to let them know that I love them and will continue to love them no matter what. My sister has really been strong... I think she has had a little more chance to stand up to him as well as my brother. The sad thing, my parent's have disowned three of their children up to this point. There are two daughters still at home, one too young to really know what she wants and the other one a total follower, definitely not a free thinker. Anyways, I will keep you posted as to how things are going.

Thanks for all of your welcome replies,
G

97

Hello...Hello...Hello (cont) #3

by Prisca in

well someone had to do it, so it might as well be prim & proper prisca to do the honors in the sex forum...... .

this thread is for all newbies to introduce yourselves.

whatever you feel happy to reveal about yourself.

CurlyQT

AAAHHH!!! Well now that you know my whole life story... sorry all for taking up an entire page with the details of my insignificant little life. ;)

CIAO
G

97

Hello...Hello...Hello (cont) #3

by Prisca in

well someone had to do it, so it might as well be prim & proper prisca to do the honors in the sex forum...... .

this thread is for all newbies to introduce yourselves.

whatever you feel happy to reveal about yourself.

CurlyQT

Hey all,

Ok, I have finally decided to sit down and take the time to share a little more details regarding my background.
I was born and raised Jehovah's Witness by my very close, very stubborn, and large, Italian family. I have 3 younger sisters and one younger brother. My father serves to this day as the PO of the Layton congregation here in Utah. I was baptized at a District Convention in Denver Colorado when I was thirteen. To this day that experience was a very spiritual and amazing experience and I take it very seriously. But not in the way that you would think. That day still reminds me that my relationship with God is between me and him, and how precious that is. I did dedicate my life. I dedicated it to experience, love and learning as much as I can from the life that I have so lovingly been offered freely. And every day I try to remember that each moment is another opportunity to be able to learn more about my creator. Anyways, on with the story... (Sorry, I went off on a tangent there)... Ok, oh yeah... now I remember where I was... Anyways, After my baptism I auxiliary pioneered for a while off and on while attending my Jr. High school. After finishing the 8th grade, my parents asked me about trying out home schooling and beginning my spiritual career as a Regular Pioneer. I was fifteen at the time. Of course, being the daughter of a very proud father, and being Daddy's little girl, I felt the obvious pressure to follow that path. Which actually at the time didn't sound too bad. And proved to be a good experience... one that if given the opportunity to change a little I probably would but none the less, a good experience. I truly enjoyed being a pioneer. I had so much fun. My pioneer partner and I would often take off by ourselves and go do our own "ministry"... which most of the time consisted of, a Dr. Pepper Big Gulp and nacho from seven eleven and the radio blasting (usually something like Led Zeppelin, or Aerosmith), windows down driving down the freeway, wind blowing through our long hair to that perfect return visit that just happened to be a fourty five minute drive away out in the middle of nowhere. Those were good times. :) Dad paid the car payment along with my insurance... all expenses paid, and all I had to do was just go out and talk with people. I never was the type to tell people how they SHOULD or SHOULDN'T believe... although most of the time I thought it behind their backs. Every once in a while I found it amusing to get into a heated argument with one of the householders regarding the beliefs of hell or the trinity (Two of my favorite bible bashing topics). We would often flirt with the mormon missionary's that were working our area as well. IT WAS AWESOME! Life was good. And then one day my dad got this idea that we should all pick up and leave our perfect little life and move out to Utah to where the need was great. So in October of 1995, we moved to Layton, Utah. I have to admit it was hard to be a teenager and then have to be moved to a new place with new people, most of which I had never met. But I adjusted ok. I made some really neat friends... fell in love... which ended in heartbreak... never did end up with the guy (WITNESS BOYS ARE TOTALLY CLUELESS AS TO THE ART OF INTERRACTING WITH THE FEMALE SPECIES). And in the late summer of ninety six I began a new job at a call center in Layton doing technical support for Prodigy Online Service. It was the first environment where I was completely surrounded by the "enemy". At least that's what I thought. Until the second week I was there and I caught eyes with the most intriguing, beautiful, amazing person I had ever seen or met. That very moment, I knew that there was going to be trouble. We started talking... and eventually I was totally in love with one of the most spiritual people I had ever met... only one problem, he wasn't Jehovah's Witness. In fact, he wasn't any religion at that time... raised LDS but excommunicated due to his "Independent Beliefs". So, here I was, head over heels with an "Unbeliever" and a regular pioneer in the congregation. It was an innocent relationship though... at that time I didn't have a clue about anything other then a completely innocent relationship. We would email each other through the evenings...Instant Message people into the late nights... most of the time it would just be light flirting with a lot of deep discussions about our beliefs. He started asking me questions about unconditional love. And the fact that witnesses didn't believe in modern day prophesy, and yet, they had a body of men who, through the holy spirit determined how everyone in the religion should or should not live. And with each question I started realizing that this whole time I thought I had all the answers to everything, I really had absolutely no clue what I was talking about. All I had was one perspective of something that was so much larger then what I had been taught and what I had learned and lived my entire life. So I started studying other things... a lot of metaphysical and philisophical books... a lot of things from the Buddhist, and Taoist beliefs. I even read the book Conversations with God... which is an extremely interested book for those looking to see another perspective into this life. And I started realizing that there was so much out there that the only possible way for me to find the "True" way to live my life was to follow my heart. During this period of self discovery I was still very confused... My father had found out about my "Wordly association" and never ceased telling me how evil that they were and how no matter how nice they were or how much they were in to God and Spirituality they would still die in the end. Which just sat wrong with me. But, because my dad knew what he was talking about and I trusted him instead of my heart, I decided that it would be better if I separated myself from this new found love, and from these things that I was starting to look at. And so I did. I stopped associating so much with my new friends and started trying to get back into the religion... although very hard because at that point, it was all I could do to actually sit there at meetings and in service listening to things that for so long I had believed in and seeing them for what they were. And during that time, I started studying even more... studying the scriptures... Studying my own beliefs... meditating... praying... and the more I learned the more my eyes were opened to the endless possibilities that were out there. And so I decided to live my life the way I wanted... I was still attending meetings... fulfilling my responsibilities as a pioneer but my heart wasn't in it anymore... So I decided to step down. My reasoning was because I wanted to pursue other things in my life. And when I told this to the elder I had my meeting with... all he expressed was his disaproval of my reasoning, as if he believed I had committed some horrible sin that was the underlying reason. (WHAT A PRICK! I'm sorry, he is the one elder that was a total hypocrite and hated me from the first day he met me, no matter what I was doing right... it was always wrong in his eyes... very arrogent... and ignorant. So forgive me for the disrespect...). Anyways, So I stopped pioneering and started working full time. Eventually I was getting so independent that my father (Can you say control? Manipulation?) tried getting me to move back to Colorado with my extended family. Of course, this is family that never called or cared until they actually heard rumors that I was having problems. So I could just feel the love dripping from every word. And so I decided to take a trip out to Colorado and spent a month there... I read all day long... Continued to study and continued to pray... and more and more my eyes were opened. I had a whole new respect for this life and for every living creature around me. It was a very humbling experience. And so, I came back to Utah, convinced that I would continue living day by day and see what life would throw out there for me. When I got back my Dad went into control freak out mode... he said that I could not return to work and live under his roof. Well it just so happened that there was another brother and sister in the congregation who rented out their basement. And it had opened up. So, I decided to move out. Which pissed off my dad even more... so he told me that I couldn't take my car with me because he had paid for it. So instead of buy into his game, I went to the bank, got a car loan, and bought the car from him. I moved out the following week... CAN YOU SAY FREEDOM?
It was awesome. No more answering to my father for being absent at the meetings... or why I wasn't in field service on Saturday morning. YADA YADA YADA... It was a hard time... I was on my own... after living in a household of seven people, going to a lonely apartment is quite an adjustment. I quit going to meetings totally. And I resumed my relationship with the person I had fallen in love with who had now become my best friend. I owe a lot of my sanity to him. He helped me through an incredible amount of stress... and he never turned his back. I lived on my own for approximately a year before I started getting the unending calls from brothers I had never met before, asking about me... telling me that they were worried for me... yada yada yada... wondering if we could meet. Telling me to pray (if they only knew). Then one of them mentioned that they had heard rumors that I was pregnant... so against better judgement I went to the meetings... (I was sick of them calling every few hours). Had a judicial meeting called and they decided to disfellowship me.
I'm sorry if this is getting monotonous... but I'm getting to the end I promise. :) The night that I went to talk to my family about my Disfellowshipping, my parents had already stripped the walls of my pictures... and the last words I heard out of their mouths as I walked out the door stripped of my housekeys as a common criminal, was, "The Gwen we loved has died". And with that it was over. My parents gave me a watchtower about the prodigal son, as well as a nice little poem about a women who ended up being a battered wife with aids because of her choices in life and sent me on my way.
I have been living my life independantly since then... studying when I can... living the best life I can... and continuing on this journey called life. Am I happy? Yes... under all of it, Yes I can honestly say I'm happy... I have good days and bad days but overall I'm free and there is no feeling like that in the world. Do I hate my family? Nope... I respect them for having their beliefs and living them so strictly. There are times when I get angry. yes I am angry. But I have a family of my own. Am I a battered wife with AIDS? Nope. I have a sexy, caring wonderful man that I plan to marry in June of this year and a beautiful 7 month old daughter who has opened my eyes even further as to the beauty that this life has to offer. I have tried to keep my parents and family updated as to my whereabouts and my life events. I've sent pictures of their first granddaughter, without response. Recently, I received a phone call from my sister... which was the most amazing miracle. My sister and I have always been close, and she has finally figured out her own "Truth" along with my brother and they have moved out of my fathers controlling house and his manipulative grip. And they are now back in my life again, loving being an Aunt and Uncle. My brother is going to walk me down the aisle in June at my wedding. I hope that one day the rest of my family will see past the dogma and realize that we are a family again. Who knows if that will happen? I can only hope. Until then, I will continue to live my life.
And with that, I leave you all for the evening. If you made it to this point thank you for hanging out. I know it's a little long winded.

G

13

Just Saying HI!!!!

by normie67 in

jw
friends

well this is my 2nd post on this board, my first is down on the sex forum!

!i tried to give a little background on myself, sorry its a bit sporadic.

it is kind of tough to get your thoughts together.

CurlyQT

Hey now... I used to use a ruler just to throw in something new once in a while... of course... that was a bad idea because pretty soon I started using the ruler to make little pictures in the margins... didn't go over too well with the rest of my family. Speaking of defacing the watchtowers... anyone guilty of manipulating the pictures for your own sick and depraved entertainment? ..... I THOUGHT SO!!! ;)

G

41

R U disfellowshipped 2

by DFshipped in

hi people.

i am a df'd person hoping to return to the fold.

i am not critical of the decision to df me nor of the loving organization i believe to be in the palm of jesus hand.. i would find it most encouraging to hear from others who feel the same and would like to "hold hands" on the way back.. this board is hailed as a supportive respectful place so if you do not fit this description may i ask you to move on and not hinder the participants here in following their god given right to pursue their goal.

CurlyQT

Battman-

I too get frustrated some times about people not seeing "My Truth" and then I remember, oh yeah, they aren't me. :) They have found their own truth in one way or another. I realize more and more the beautiful paradox's that make up this experience we call life. It is truly amazing how much there is to learn out there if we get past what everyone else is doing and just focus on ourselves individually. Anyways, :) Thanks for your reply...I too have been striving to live my life in love for myself, for everyone else, and for God. At this point, I figure if love is my intent then I can't go wrong. No matter what decision I make in my life.

G

41

R U disfellowshipped 2

by DFshipped in

hi people.

i am a df'd person hoping to return to the fold.

i am not critical of the decision to df me nor of the loving organization i believe to be in the palm of jesus hand.. i would find it most encouraging to hear from others who feel the same and would like to "hold hands" on the way back.. this board is hailed as a supportive respectful place so if you do not fit this description may i ask you to move on and not hinder the participants here in following their god given right to pursue their goal.

CurlyQT

Mommy,

I can relate to your issues with family. I came from a very big and close italian family. After making the choices that I made, I went back to talk with my family, who at that point had already stripped my picture off of their wall. When I told them that I was getting DF'd they took my key, and treated me as a common criminal... and then told me that the Gwen that they loved was dead. That was the last I talked with them. I didn't have any contact with any of them including my brothers and sisters one of which I was extremely close to for about three years... and then this last October I received a phone call from my sister... and I have resumed a relationship with my now very grown up brother and sister. It has been a wonderful blessing to my life. They have been able to not only share in the part of my daughters and fiance's life... but also in mine as well. Haven't heard from the rest of the fam... but I have faith that one day we'll meet again.

G

41

R U disfellowshipped 2

by DFshipped in

hi people.

i am a df'd person hoping to return to the fold.

i am not critical of the decision to df me nor of the loving organization i believe to be in the palm of jesus hand.. i would find it most encouraging to hear from others who feel the same and would like to "hold hands" on the way back.. this board is hailed as a supportive respectful place so if you do not fit this description may i ask you to move on and not hinder the participants here in following their god given right to pursue their goal.

CurlyQT

Hello Everyone!! ;)
I just have to say that you are all awesome!!! ;)
It's amazing to actually talk to so many people who have come from similar backgrounds and have such different perceptions and yet we are all gathered here in one place! ;)

First of all... Batmann, you are hilarious...
I too have studied the definition of "TRUTH". Anyone that can explain that fully to me... well go ahead because I have been searching for the meaning of that for a couple of years now and the only conclusion I have come up with on it is that each person's Truth is different from everyone elses in this world. Not two people think the same way or have the exact same outlook as another about everything. Not even in the Organization. Therefore, the only truth that exists is in the fact that truth is completely relative to the person who is perceiving truth. Which brings me to my point. DF... since you are actively pursuing reinstatement, then your truth matches within the confines of the Jehovah's Witness religion! :) And you know what? If that is the case then you follow it... follow it and learn all you can through it! :) Because that is truly where you belong and it will help you learn what you need to learn. I think it's awesome that you are pursuing something that you have faith in. My only advice is this, make sure that in choosing your path that you don't forget that there is so much on this earth that can provide a learning experience to you. Don't shut your eyes to that one possibility. No matter what path you choose. :) That in mind... I wish you the best.

On the topic regarding disfellowshipped ones having association to one another. The one thing that I have noticed even with myself is that even though some of us are no longer in the religion, we still follow the "Principles" and "Regulations" for disfelloshipped persons. In fact, I have caught myself passing another df'd person in a grocery store and what not, and passed them up reminding myself (unconsciously) that I should not be associating with them. But the funny thing is... we're not in the religion anymore so what can they do? My fiance' actually called me on that when I was upset about not being able to contact my family. He finally hit me with the thought, OH YEAH, I DON'T HAVE TO PLAY BY THEIR RULES ANYMORE! Not that I don't respect them. To this day I have not had contact with anyone from the religion. I do respect their beliefs and their choices that they have made.
Being a former PO's Daughter, I was very clear on the way that disfelloshipped ones are to act. I don't know if it has changed but while I was still active and going through my own ordeal, as long as I didn't admit anything, or actually make the effort to go forth and have a meeting with the elders, then there was absolutely nothing that they could do. They cannot disfellowship you to disfellowship you. They have to have a meeting with you to confirm either the things they have heard by other members or, to actually confront you personally on things. My sister is going through this right now. It's kind of comical... she's been chased in a car by the elders, continually called and visited... and she refuses to attend a judicial meeting. I think she is just sick of the whole thing.

As far as disfellowshipped people having association with one another, the only reason that this would be a "RULE" to follow is if you are actively pursuing reinstatement. Obviously if you went back and met with the brothers and told them that you still had contact with disfellowshipped ones, most judicial commitees would frown on that and most of the time they would not reinstate you under those circumstances. However, if you aren't looking to go back to the organization then what does it matter if you associate with another disfellowshipped person... because at that point, they are only a person... without title... just a human being... no limitations on them... nothing hanging over their head telling them what they can and cannot do as a "Disfellowshipped" person. They can tell you until they are blue in the face that you shouldn't have contact with another DF'd person but in reality, they don't have any power over you at all. So anyways... (wow I feel like that was a little long winded).
It's cool to be talking with you all... brings back so many memories. :) And with that, I'm off... it's five and I don't want to spend another minute at this desk. So with that I bid you all a good night!

G

40

R U DFshipped?

by DFshipped in

i am a dfshipped person who is working towards reinstatement.. i would like to meet anyone else who also would like to return.. i really would prefer not to meet people who want to criticize my desire to return.

i would like to enjoy and offer encouragemnt to others like me.

CurlyQT

Amicus,

That is awesome that you have opened your eyes to your heart? Perhaps the heart is not so "Treachorous" after all. :) Anyways, just as a side point, I don't know if you have met very many people from other religions but I think you would be surprised at how often we really are alike. My fiance' for instance was born and raised Mormon and has really come through a lot to follow his heart. I think that using my heart and opening up myself to a broader perception has really been a humbling experience. I used to judge people so harshly and it wasn't until I actually experienced life that I saw how much that hurts when it's directed at me. Anyways, I am fortunate... I have been blessed beyond belief in my life... and I guess my biggest goal is to help myself get through the leftover crap... and perhaps help a few others keep going on their paths no matter what it be. ;)

Love,
G

40

R U DFshipped?

by DFshipped in

i am a dfshipped person who is working towards reinstatement.. i would like to meet anyone else who also would like to return.. i really would prefer not to meet people who want to criticize my desire to return.

i would like to enjoy and offer encouragemnt to others like me.

CurlyQT

Thanks for the welcome... Perhaps one day I will have an opportunity to share "MY STORY" with all of you. Unfortunately, I haven't had a moment of time to even sit down long enough to think about it. I noticed that there are people of all types of backgrounds in here... some in the congregation still and others who have moved on. It's interesting to see such a diverse group. It's neat to see as well, perhaps there are some people out there that are seeing through the dogma and black and white of religion and realizing that the "Truth" they are working towards is found within themselves and within the people that they interact with and share this beautiful experience called life with. It's very exciting!!! :) HI EVERYONE! ;)

Love,
Gwen