Posts by freemindfade

Less worry
Random acts of kindness
A loss of interest in conflict
Happiness
Enjoying each moment
No more judging self
No more Judging others
Feeling of true appreciation
A connection to others
True unconditional love
Loss of interest in taking every negative world event and trying to interpret into something
The ability to think free
Act spontaneous
Learn
grow
experience

33

Losing Faith

by cappytan in

i've always been a "spiritual" person.

i've been an avid bible reader since as early as i can remember.

i read the bible cover to cover for the first time when i was about 17 years old and have read it at least twice more since then.

I say this, first step take the pressure off yourself. Their emotional blackmail is working, take control. Stop feeling like you need to make an immediate move about your doubts, use this forum to doubt in private until you are fully comfortable with your choices. I know you are afraid to let them down, but if you don't leave all the way (DA DF) you can take control, and you might be surprised by who loves you despite not being an uber dub. I still accompany my spouse to meetings, but have zero faith in the bible, and zero in the dubs, its an aggravation, but i know I have a few friends here and else where to help me cope

26

Am I going crazy?

by HappyDad in

am i going nuts or am i just pissed off?

there are so many posters who use abbreviations in their posts and so many of us have been out for years.

the borg constantly changes everything from beliefs to organizational tactics, so those like me don't have a clue to what you are referring to.

freemindfade

hahahaha i still go to meeting and I am not sure what that is...

52

New member, no longer just reader...

by freemindfade in

jw
friends

so i joined very recently and began posting and commenting without a formal intro.

been reading for a while, decided it was time to jump in.

mentally i am completely cleansed of this thing, but still have to maintain a minimal involvement for spouse and family.

freemindfade

DesirousOfChange

I think so, when I attended the convention (was one of the internationals) this was not the org I grew up in, I felt very uncomfortable and embarrassed with most of it. Its so over the top. Guess there are enough educated dubs to see a cooperate rebirth and marketing campaign when they see one.

52

New member, no longer just reader...

by freemindfade in

jw
friends

so i joined very recently and began posting and commenting without a formal intro.

been reading for a while, decided it was time to jump in.

mentally i am completely cleansed of this thing, but still have to maintain a minimal involvement for spouse and family.

freemindfade

Saltheart Foamfollower Yea, its so hard to clap for something that goes against everything your mind believes, I do the golf clap for about 3 seconds.

OnTheWayOut I understand, the stress I was feeling going to meetings and feeling so lied to it was seriously giving me major anxiety issues and i am not an anxious person. But one day it just stopped and i felt like the poison was out. Now its just a major irritation, The amount of nonsense you want to look around and laugh like as if right? then you realize everyone around is (or at least pretending) believing this crap. Im gonna try to do a full fade without DAing myself just to still speak to my loved ones, but if for some reason anything i have done that would get me booted, I would not be all that tore up. oops you got me, b-bye..

52

New member, no longer just reader...

by freemindfade in

jw
friends

so i joined very recently and began posting and commenting without a formal intro.

been reading for a while, decided it was time to jump in.

mentally i am completely cleansed of this thing, but still have to maintain a minimal involvement for spouse and family.

freemindfade

Oh I remember the SUNK COST FALLACY in school, never had much of an issue with that, the only wisp of anything left in it that I care about is being able to speak to a handful of family members. Thats pretty much it. And I don't do anything to try to show people I agree. I imagine eventually even the occasional meeting attendance will stop, thats just a favor to someone else. Even when I was convinced at first of TTATT I went through a few weeks of somatic stress, even though I was never really convinced 100% it was the truth, I just felt like my mind and body had to go through that purge. Not like I wanted to believe it, or held on to anything, basically I was a closet atheist, but it still needed to pass out of my system. Once gone, i got back to being at peace, I make no shows for anyone in my family or where I attend and I make this clear. If anything can be gained by my still being around it may be to help my spouse courageously see TTATT (this will likely never happen) or others. I had one friend who I helped cross that bridge. Now he speaks to his DF'd brother again and is unafraid to move on with his life. I'm inside the Matrix as it were, but I know about the reality and the Matrix has no hold on me outside of the one last courtesy I give one of its members... My spouse.

52

New member, no longer just reader...

by freemindfade in

jw
friends

so i joined very recently and began posting and commenting without a formal intro.

been reading for a while, decided it was time to jump in.

mentally i am completely cleansed of this thing, but still have to maintain a minimal involvement for spouse and family.

freemindfade

For as many people are joining on here and so on, I wonder what is really going behind the scenes, how many Dubs have just up and stopped turning in time. For me it started a while ago with doing as little as possible to just get that 2 our mark, to be left alone, then i started not going out, but still just turning in the 2 hours... again to be left alone, then I thought what the hell... and just stopped all of it. I wonder if this will be a big trend in 2015, the decline...

52

New member, no longer just reader...

by freemindfade in

jw
friends

so i joined very recently and began posting and commenting without a formal intro.

been reading for a while, decided it was time to jump in.

mentally i am completely cleansed of this thing, but still have to maintain a minimal involvement for spouse and family.

freemindfade

Thank you!

52

New member, no longer just reader...

by freemindfade in

jw
friends

so i joined very recently and began posting and commenting without a formal intro.

been reading for a while, decided it was time to jump in.

mentally i am completely cleansed of this thing, but still have to maintain a minimal involvement for spouse and family.

freemindfade

breakfast of champions

It must be "new light"

lol