Welcome my friend and
Welcome to the limbo club...
Your story is very touching, many of us here are going through similar things.
I was in a pretty good place, but now things are awkward again, I don't think either of us want it to be this way, but this is what religion and cult religion do to relationships and human interaction. They ruin them, or at least strain them.
I wish i had more positive things to say, but right now I am just on the eve of a massive fight myself and pretty tapped out.
FMF at your service