So honestly I am to concerned with more ad hominem attacks towards the WT because I still love the organization and the people in it. But that is because I truly believe that in general witnesses are good people that are trying their best to do good. I have had my issues with many fellow JW's but I have been an ass plenty of times to not let that make a blanket statement of nefariousness. I only mention this because I don't plan on engaging with anyone that just wants to talk bad about the people.
I used to be this way exactly like you, to some degree. I lost faith in the bible, then god. And just told myself whatever, witnesses are good, i'd never call them a cult, and so on and so forth. I wasn't looking to rock the boat with relatives or anyone.
That was then. I still believe of course in good people in the org with good intentions. But that doesn't change they are harmful. It took me fully waking up and being the subject of difficulty from the fact it is a cult that caused me to see the danger and damage of the Jehovahs Witnesses.
As for your second paragraph this is a big question and the explanation is broad. part of waking up from god and a cult is coming to realize the indifference of the universe, and things you can control and things you cannot. As a witness you were indoctrinated with the idea of a just (in their mind) settling of ALL wrongs. the reality is this is not going to happen, but you may still carry the anxious idea that everything is immanent doom, and there has to be a complete solution to fix it all. Just remember the universe is indifferent, there is no grand plan to speak of.
Thinking the world is on its way to destruction (for and by humans) is it that strange and dire? Well dire I guess for us, but the truth is the earth has destroyed itself about 12 times now if my memory serves me right. Yep, the planet has had mass extinctions multiple times, why would we think those would be the last? Somethings survived but over all the place was destroyed as it was prior. Perhaps we as a group can do something to protect ourselves from ourselves, but this place earth is dangerous! We aren't the center of the universe, things weren't made for us, we can be wiped out. The good news is its not the desert god coming to get us. I know what I am saying sounds bleak but there is a lot of positivity on the other side of coming to terms with these things, then reinventing yourself as you were meant to be, not as a cult conditioned you to be.
I like your story, because I started the same. I am very happy, and positive, more so about life and being alive than I ever did as a witness. Welcome!
