rockkchick30 your a good person by the sounds of it. And WITH an Open mind
When i thought it was the truth, the ORG was my world. Everything i did and did not do was because of what i was taught. Ultimately it tore my family apart. When i decided to start church and leave the Witnesses i was kicked out of my home, my stepdad (aiming to be a M. Servant and maybe an elder) used to hit me, mum didnt do anything about it.
Truthfully, i've only felt happier since i've left. It ruined my high school education due to depression e.t.c at only 14!!
Whats sad is that the people at the hall think its the truth and the information they present is all they are given. The society stops them looking anywhere else. Whatever you do, make sure you research the things you come across properly.
Why not start a new topics introducing yourself and ask some questions there, then we can work on giving you answers.