DOC and Lifestooshort make a good point.
You wrote: It is certainly a slippery slope to see how far you can take the discussion before you are labeled an apostate.
It's mighty slippery. And oh! so easy to take that little step over the line!!
I think we all understand your frustration. It's so nice that you both still have a workable relationship.
I'm just a little jealous. Probably other posters are, too.
Maybe just reassure her that you are 'good' with Jehovah. And let her rest easy and not fret so much about your eternal life.
-Aude.