Posts by AudeSapere

36

Hi noobie here.

by Grags in

hi my name is graham (but i much prefer to be called grags), i'm a 38 year old married man from the uk and have been studying with the witnesses for about 3 months.

i do a study every saturday and love every minute.

in john 6: 16-24 jesus's disciples get onto a boat without jesus and set off.

AudeSapere

Hi Grags -

It's nice that you enjoy your time studying with Jehovah's witnesses. I remember enjoying their visits, too, when I was young and my parents joined the group.

You should know that this particular discussion forum is comprised of both active and inactive witnesses. Also some people that never were 'in' the organization but who have an interest nonetheless.

The majority here, though, are people who have been deeply hurt by practices that are not disclosed to people like you. Or the practices are sugar-coated.

There is some good conversation and debate here, but also much hurt.

Welcome. I am glad you joined in the discussion.

-AudeSapere (meaning: Dare to Know; Dare to Have Wisdom/Understanding; Dare to Think for Yourself)

69

Did you know anyone who commited suicide in the org?

by JH in

jw
friends

back in 1991, a young brother maybe 18 years old living next to my place committed suicide.

his father expected him to be very zealous just like he was, but the son never wanted to be like that.

he was always controlled by his father.

Where's Mouthy?

by Village Idiot in

jw
friends

it's been a while since she's posted.

i'm hoping she's ok.. for those who are new here mouthy (grace) is our forum's adopted grandma.

she has been posting here since the beginning.

Being interviewed by police tomorrow

by moley in

well tomorrow is a big day for me.

i'm finally going to be interviewed by the police about what happened to me as a kid.. im running the whole gamut of emotions at the moment.

sad, anxious, angry, guilt, fear and many more that cannot be quantified.. i feel physically sick, cannot sleep, have lost my appetite and i am desperately trying not to self harm.. i've got my sister to thank for getting this far.

AudeSapere

You will do well.

Have a small, light breakfast. Remember that you are doing a good thing for both your self and for the community.

Take it slow. And breathe.

We'll be sending our best and calmest thoughts your way.

Please let us know when you get back and that you did a good job and that you feel unburdened. Then get some well-deserved sleep.

20

My first Halloween Party

by 3rdgen in

warning!

long post ahead!.

i didn't know what to expect but i was really excited to be invited to accompany my daughter and her closest friends to a large (300+) party held at a famous hot spot.

AudeSapere

I had fun just reading that~!! So glad you had great time.

I want to see pics of your costumes.

And I want to know the name of the actor.

pm me?

211

Where are you from?

by BeautifulMind in

jw
friends

i know we are all anonymous for our own personal reasons, so i understand if you would rather not say.

but if you don't mind sharing that would be cool.

i currently live in georgia, usa.

AudeSapere

Ventura County, California

13

Breaking Heart Needs Help

by thankyou in

was happily married many yrs unconditional love till wife went heaven yr n half ago.

3 mos ago sun morn.

when i once asked her if she been abused, cause seems like it, she didn't ans just hung her head.

AudeSapere

Without paragraphs this is too tough to read.

Here is re-post of the OP with a few breaks added in:

.

Was happily married many yrs unconditional love till wife went heaven yr n half ago.
3 mos ago Sun morn. at beach-park saw tall slender cute black girl whose vibes were pure n unique. She had big cloth trvl bag. Lots people around. I sat down next her on bench. Soon she lay down on bench take nap. Heard her laugh out loud to self. I thought oh maybe mental prblms, I shouldn't bother her.
Went home but conscience bothered me that I was attracted but abandoned her cause she had issues, but I knew she needed help.
Went back hoping she was still there. When I arrived was one person there who got up n left. I was now alone w/her. We looked at each other n smiled. I sat w/her n we talked 3 hrs. She said came Hollywood FL area is "in transition", is a JW n was a Methodist in past. (I knew nothing abt JW). I am in Treasure Coast FL area.
We talked about everything except some things she didn't want talk abt, but that was cool. I love God n she was very religious, so she appealed to me. She gave me her cell# n email. She bought chips but no $ for drink. So I gave her $20. I wanted stay but didn't want overdo it. She told me she'ld b there next day to look for her. Told her call me if needed any kind help.
Next morn.I went there she was waiting n we had big smile for each other. We hung out together all day:restuarants,Walmart,fast food etc. She said she had a "roof over her head", but looked me like homeless or staying shelter or some JW house.
We were so compatible, what she said, the words she used, the spirit behind the words, the things she did, the way she thought--all just like me. It was wonderful! Asked her if she wanted go see my new townhouse. She said yes. So, we chilled out there for awhile. I even told her let me know if needs place stay she can stay for free n I'll help her get on her feet. She was c/o where the bus stop is etc. Then we went back beach-park.
I been married years, had my share girl friends, raised daughter. I could tell we liked each other a lot. One thing she had said earlier is she had "keep moving". I didn't pry why.
Anyway sun going down we been together 2 days was time figure out if "future". She told me "I can't mislead u into a relationship, courtship, marriage". I thought wow that's real fast, but was ok cause we both middle aged n really clicked. But the "feeling" I got was that she was saying what she wanted to have happen but that she couldn't help/lead/cooperate bec of her religion so if I wanted the same thing I was on my own to figure out how make it happen. Anyway I said "Oh u mean because you're married"? She said "no, cause that's my religion". I said "are you going let someone else tell u how live ur life"? She said "no, those are the rules if they find out they'll kick me out of the church".
She told me to call her, as she squinted into the sun that lit up her eyes n face n she looked so beautiful I could see into her soul as we had looked deep into each others eyes so many times. I told her "no, you call me cause I don't have all those rules. Anyway, we parted nicely.
3 days went by finally I called her. She had been "at the library writing an important letter n was now at the post office to mail it n this was a big day in her life". I didn't pry.
She asked how I was. Told her "lonely". She said "why"? Told her that I missed her. She got little angry said told u, JW cannot be boyfriend-girlfriend. Told her breaking my heart she sounded sincere said she was sorry . I knew she too had feelings but could suppress them.
For 2 days she had been feminine, natural, nice. Once I expressed my feelings she turned tomboyish cold. Knowing that my feelings caused her conflict. I tried ease her stress. Texted her "good news 4 u, I don't love u anymore haha, so u don't have worry or think abt it."
Knowing my routine early next morn she ambushed me n said "Geez in only 2 days n u have those feelings inside. I cannot associate w/you then. I told her I can't help it. She said "Ohhhh". Told her don't worry I can control it. She said "Noooo". I thought oh good she doesn't want me to control it.
Anyway soon she p/up her heavy bag n walked off. Told her God sent half decent person help her how can she walk away n you may have regrets. Next time saw her she complained that "first u say like this then u say like that etc." She wasn't clear abt my feelings. So, again to ease her mind n so she wouldn't feel hounded, I told her "hey I have girlfriends". N she told me I've been very nice to her n she will pay me back everything. Told her she owes me nothing.
Prbly shouldn't told her abt girlfriends.
Next day I say her was her was very last time. She had shaved her head. Bizzare, but it was ok cause I care for her. She said when she comes to beach she cannot associate w/me. We sat silently for awhile then she p/u bag n walked off. We had seen ea other for abt 12 days.
She was very intelligent never had $ for college. She loves God n so do I. So, we really matched. It's only her JW beliefs blocking things. I've never loved someone so deeply n it's not infatuation or limerance. I called her she didn't return my call. So I did no contact 1 month, but got worried might lose her forever so started texting. Finally called her she said I told u I'm JW so cannot n not to call her. So, didn't call her but continued texting.
Told her if she really really didn't want me I'll be gone otherwise she needs ans my phone calls. So, last 2x called her she did ans n knows it's me cause still on her speed dial. But she said agn cannot b friends cause she JW n something abt her ph unable text n she hangs up soon, no two way conversation. B4 cause she told me 2x that I have a prblm n need get therapy cause I'm still pursuing her even she says cannot get together. But told her I have B.S. Physchology n she has stopped telling me that.
U know I' ve dodged bullets in the army, been attorney in another state, had my share girlfriends-wife, been in spiritual battles, but this is the most difficult thing ever had to do. She has all the power. If she stops ans my calls, it's all over. It's not likely she will reach out to me, or just pop up. I need to say right thing in text n call her right frequency n hope she good mood. In person we have strong mutual attraction but when she off by herself she searches for reasons to reject me.
I worry so much about her cause she was poor as can be. How is she eating, sleeping etc. I read here that JW can actually stay JW accomodations etc. But, I don't know.
When I once asked her if she been abused, cause seems like it, she didn't ans just hung her head. I figure abused hurt in life a lot on top of the endless sufferings of being a minority person n turned JW who prbly helped her but who some say is an abusive organiz. She's had difficult life but didn't turn bad, she turned to God. Wow, such a noble and good character. I really want her in my life. I want to help her n make her happy.
In an effort to succeed sought advice some black guys n girls-all have been so kind n understanding. One was JW gentleman. When I told him the story he said "WOW, THIS IS DEEP". He said for now just try b her friend outside the JW that she can trust n count on.
We had alot laughs too. She apparently though is strict n believes she must not have any non JW friend. I'ld settle for being able call her once every week or two n say "hi" for couple minutes. Once she doesn't p/u the phone, it's all over.
There's more to the story, but that's basically it.
Her first name is Kristian, so if anyone knows/knew a Kristian/JW frm Hollywood FL general area let me know n I'll give you her last name. I don't even know if she's still in this city, she may have moved on to somewhere else. She was like a gypsy, in a sense, during the 12 days we related. I've texted her that I'ld like to know if she's still in this city. You know I've had never cried as an adult even when my father, mother, oldest brother, wife died. But, I've been crying about this girl. Must be something spiritual about it.
God Bless All of You -n- any advice you can give to me.

7

US TV Show 20/20 Interviews Leah Remini about Scientology - Oct 30, 2015

by TheListener in

jw
friends

tonight on the abc network (in the usa) they will be doing an in depth interview with leah remini who was a scientologist for 30 years.

i saw a preview and there is a lot of talk about shunning.

AudeSapere

Oh! I wanted to see this and lost track of the time. Dang!

Hopefully i can see a replay on the the ABC website tomorrow....?

13

Warwick Safety Orientation

by wifibandit in

welcome to warwick safety orientation!

each warwick volunteer is required to view the entire three-hour program and complete the five short quizzes one week before arriving at warwick.

to benefit fully from each of the five sections, we recommend that you set aside time in a quiet location with minimal distractions and give the program your full attention.

AudeSapere

And yet... when WT representatives were called by the Royal Commission, each and every one of the (active) men neglected to follow the Commission's request to review the documents provided, review their own historical notes and follow some of the other testimony.

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But they expect explicit compliance to the directives they put out themselves.

52

CO Comes Up With A New Way To Be Judgemental...

by JW_Rogue in

at the latest co visit something very strange happened.

during the meeting with the elders and servants he passed out a copy of a hypothetical publisher card and asked us what we could learn from it.

upon receiving it i saw that the average hours were pretty good, it had return visits and quite a few bible studies.

AudeSapere

LevelThePlayingField wrote: Like John Aquila would say, 'let's review, it's a cult!'

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I agree with the sentiment, but, credit where credit is due... I think that quote is by Ouiblette.