Scotsman,
I understand and agree we all are entitled to our opinion. Hang in there, whatever you decide will be what is best for you, even if it takes time.
Best wishes to you!
Nikki
Nowman
JoinedPosts by Nowman
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63
3 a.m. - my wife is in tears! What do I do?
by The Scotsman inwell my situation has developed a bit, any advice appreciated.. their has been a gradual building up of pressure ever since i stood down as an elder about 6 months ago.. i have been telling my wife about my doubts but have continued to attend "some" meetings.. as time has progressed i have become more open with my criticism of the org.. i mentioned the un scandal, molestation trials, false prophecy ect etc.. interestingly she does not deny these facts and yet still wants to continue as a jw.. i told her that god is not happy with people knowingly being part of a false prophet (deut 18 - etc) - starting to lay the groundwork for my exit.. she appreciates the difficult situation doubters are in - they cannot openly express their feelings for fear of jcs.. anyway, a few weeks ago we moved house which meant changing congregation.. but i felt it would be best if i did not attend meetings " at all" at the new cong so my fade could be easier.. but i could not have predicted my wifes response - when i told her it was an explosion of emotion, i mean real heartbreaker stuff.. she seems depressed at the prospect, perhaps the reality is finally hitting home.. last night, about 3a.m.
i noticed that she was not in bed.
i went downstairs and she was sobbing away to herself.. "i can't go to that hall myself!
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63
3 a.m. - my wife is in tears! What do I do?
by The Scotsman inwell my situation has developed a bit, any advice appreciated.. their has been a gradual building up of pressure ever since i stood down as an elder about 6 months ago.. i have been telling my wife about my doubts but have continued to attend "some" meetings.. as time has progressed i have become more open with my criticism of the org.. i mentioned the un scandal, molestation trials, false prophecy ect etc.. interestingly she does not deny these facts and yet still wants to continue as a jw.. i told her that god is not happy with people knowingly being part of a false prophet (deut 18 - etc) - starting to lay the groundwork for my exit.. she appreciates the difficult situation doubters are in - they cannot openly express their feelings for fear of jcs.. anyway, a few weeks ago we moved house which meant changing congregation.. but i felt it would be best if i did not attend meetings " at all" at the new cong so my fade could be easier.. but i could not have predicted my wifes response - when i told her it was an explosion of emotion, i mean real heartbreaker stuff.. she seems depressed at the prospect, perhaps the reality is finally hitting home.. last night, about 3a.m.
i noticed that she was not in bed.
i went downstairs and she was sobbing away to herself.. "i can't go to that hall myself!
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Nowman
In response to MidwichCuckoo note to me...
I am married and know about the needs of 2 people, and I wanted to put my 2 cents in period. I spoke in my post about Scotsman standing up for what is right, and that time will tell what the final outcome would be. Just because you know of (and you were apart of emotional blackmail) people in similiar sitation, does not make you an expert. Based on what you posted, you are assuming that things will work out the same way. In my humble opionion, I think its too soon to go the route that he will be blackmailed. Think about his wife who still has the JW mind set, we all did at one point. I am sure it is very difficult for her, but I would not tell Scotsman to give up, not without a fight!!!!
I looked at my post again, don't know why you felt the need to make a point with me, just trying offer some encouragement, in my post, I never suggested he go to the meeting with her and give in??? I do not know the history of his situation, but I do understand the way he is feeling, therefore I offered encouragement period.
Scotsman, this thread is for you, hope you find encouragement.
Nikki
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87
~ Your feelings on aging ~
by FlyingHighNow inso, we aren't going to stay young and never die.
how do you feel about aging, especially those of you that are over 35?
aging poses some concerns for me, especially since i am 49 and pretty much single.
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Nowman
I actually am enjoying getting older, turned 34 last month. Yet, please do not think I am tooting my own horn here, but I look abnormally young, get told all the time. You know what its like to volunteer at my son and daughter fun fair (9 & 11 years old) and people thought I went to the middle school next door? Or they thought I was the sister (sister thing is not so bad) of my kids....
Part of it is my size (I am 5 feet tall, and weigh what I am suppose to weigh), I know. Part of it is genentic, my mom looks real young too. Sometimes I am not taken seriously because its assumed I am young and inexperienced. Then stuff comes of my mouth, and I get, How old are you? I say out load proudly, 34!!!!!
So, aging for me does not bother me. When I was 20, I looked 13, ha. I would say at this age, it was hard to look younger because you want to be older at that age. I love being in my 30s, and it is true, much more content with myself then when I was younger.
Nikki
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63
3 a.m. - my wife is in tears! What do I do?
by The Scotsman inwell my situation has developed a bit, any advice appreciated.. their has been a gradual building up of pressure ever since i stood down as an elder about 6 months ago.. i have been telling my wife about my doubts but have continued to attend "some" meetings.. as time has progressed i have become more open with my criticism of the org.. i mentioned the un scandal, molestation trials, false prophecy ect etc.. interestingly she does not deny these facts and yet still wants to continue as a jw.. i told her that god is not happy with people knowingly being part of a false prophet (deut 18 - etc) - starting to lay the groundwork for my exit.. she appreciates the difficult situation doubters are in - they cannot openly express their feelings for fear of jcs.. anyway, a few weeks ago we moved house which meant changing congregation.. but i felt it would be best if i did not attend meetings " at all" at the new cong so my fade could be easier.. but i could not have predicted my wifes response - when i told her it was an explosion of emotion, i mean real heartbreaker stuff.. she seems depressed at the prospect, perhaps the reality is finally hitting home.. last night, about 3a.m.
i noticed that she was not in bed.
i went downstairs and she was sobbing away to herself.. "i can't go to that hall myself!
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Nowman
Scotsman,
Your wife is going through a difficult time as you know. I do not know your history, but if you stepped down from being an elder 6 months ago, its still pretty new and heartbreaking for your wife. As as we know from our experience, it can be hard on a marriage when something like this happens. It doesn't make it right, but your wife has not come to her senses yet about the org, perhaps she might never.
Only time will tell what the final outcome will be. You will need more time to support her and stand your ground, no matter what! Just like she will hopefully stand up for what is right, you will stand up for what is right too! It will continue to be tough, no doubt about it.
Nikki
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34
Going to the Prom not allowed as a JW
by odie67 ini didnt go to my prom because it was not allowed.
i didnt even bother to ask.
i don't regret it alot, but it would be nice to have a picture or two for memory sake.
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Nowman
Yep I was not allowed either. I always wanted to go but as I got older, I just never acted like I wanted to either. Reason being, in 7th grade, I snuck to a social hour, told my parents I felt like getting dressed up. Well, somehow my parents found out, because when I got home, all hell broke loose, you know the big ole paddle waiting for my butt. I was in 7th grade, how humiliating.
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It's always the parents fault
by Burger Time ini am sure this topic has been covered but i was thinking about it today.
how parents have it about the worse in the org.
for any of us that have publicly left or spoken out against the wts with our parents the reaction is almost always the same, "i have failed as a parent".
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Nowman
I could blame my parents, but I do think they they thought they were doing the right thing at the time.
Unfortuantely, years later, my perception of my mom is that she does not want to be around me and her grandchildren because of her guilt. I just do not want to find out the truth, I do not want to be right about my feeling, so I don't ask her.
Nikki
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Is Windows Something That You Do Do?
by compound complex indear squeaky-clean friends:.
i am an artist and a teacher, which pay to keep me in window washing, my real love.
the jobs are sure rolling in.
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Nowman
My husband just left Pella Windows after 12 years because Marvin Windows wanted him, this count?
Nikki
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Do you change your mind easily?
by nicolaou inas ex-jw's we've all cleary changed our minds about what 'the truth' is but do you think you could make another big change like that again?
i honestly cannot see myself changing my mind about the non-existence of god and the supernatural - but hey, i was just as dogmatic in my jw days that those things were real!
i guess anything is possible but it feels as though with every passing year my options for change are reduced.
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Nowman
Yes. Used to be worse, but I attribute it to being younger.
I never thought I would feel like I did after leaving the JWs, leaving the cult thing. But, in life, I have realized that there are other cult tendencies (someone said this to me recently too, gotta give some credit to him), for example, when you leave a job of ten years, and go to a similiar job where you will be able to apply the knowlege etc, I realized I had a cult mind, I couldn't let go of what I used to do a certain way....Had to readjust my thinking.
Hey, in the end, its OK to change your mind.
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63
I know my favorite dream job - what's yours?
by wings infood critic for a gormet magazine.
movie critic....i'd be good at that.
travel book writer.....i should move that to the top.
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Nowman
I too have always wanted to be an actress, or dancer, or singer, or comedian! Doesn't mean I can't...so I somewhat do it through my kids. I sing, act, say goofy things, all the time and I am damn proud of it! I say things for shock value all the time. I sing in my car, all the time! I sing at work, I know they can hear me next door! I ask my kids to play pre-tend American Idol, just in case there is some agent in my house hiding!
Another way I am fulfilling my dream, is I dance to Dance DVD's in my L.R. every am, I think I have done one of them 92 times since 1/1/08! (I will let you in on a little secret, its old school hip hop, fun stuff).
Sure, there is a bit of sarcasm above, but in all reality, it truly lifts my spirits!
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Nowman
True friends? I do not feel I have any "true" girlfriends even though I was POA for their children, or I gave 100% for them, I took the good with the bad, for 10 years! Never in a million would I have thought I would feel the way I do these days, I feel so f'd over. Never thought it would happen to happy me. Well, it did.
On a positive note, because I refuse to be bitter even though I have every right to be F-ing bitter ....that was hypocritical!
As I have said before, I will stand tall. What helps me during this time, is realizing that this is a "time period" that I just need to get through, its not tragic. But, when you feel so hurt inside because you never realized or even thought that things would play out the way they do, how do you NOT feel bad?
Maybe its a sign that I deserve better friends, maybe this was bound to happen anyway, either way it still hurts. But, this will NOT last forever!