I left the Organization some 15 years ago, and I've never been bothered at all. I did the slow fade, and when I left I had no enemies or problems with any of the brothers. If asked why I was "discouraged", I did not confide in anyone-----not even close friends or family members. So....... I've been left alone. However, I can think of at least half-a-dozen others who tried to fade and weren't so lucky. In some cases, even after several years, the elders tracked them down and hounded them until they could disfellowship them. And these were the same elders who chose not to bother me. At least they haven't bothered me so far. Basically, the elders can do anything they want and if you've ever given them a reason, even through the most trivial slight, they can and will come after you. There is no time limit. But, I would also point out that the half-a-dozen that I mentioned are a relatively small percentage compared to the 60 or 70 that I know of who have left and never been bothered.
(((((Marilyn))))) My heart goes out to you, but Prisca is right-----you made a mistake by confiding your honest feelings to the brothers. My advice to anyone who is wanting to leave yet not get disfellowshipped is to KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. This can't be emphasized enough. Do not say anything that can be carried back to the elders. Things that have been said years ago, even to trusted friends or family members, have a funny way of coming back to haunt you.
As far as suing the bastards is concerned, I don't think that the threat of that will deter too many of them; after all, what with jehovah's holy spirit upon them, their arrogance knows no bounds. Plus, very few of them have any money, and money is the only reason to bring a civil lawsuit and the only way that you can get a lawyer interested. Even if you win, there's nothing to collect. On this note, I might mention that my brother is trying to fade and he is being pestered relentlessly by the elders. They don't like him and he's made a few enemies, you see........Anyway he talked to his lawyer (the best in town), and was told that legal precedent definitely favors the defendants in this situation. He compared the Borg to a private club that sets its own rules for membership and the members either accept the rules, or they can leave and suffer the formal consequences. To make the short story even shorter........the lawyer would not accept it on the contingency plan; my brother would have to pay for it out of his own pocket. He was advised to forget it and get on with his life.
Be careful out there, everyone. It's a jungle.
David