Posts by sparky1

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Review: revised Elder's manual, part 2

by neat blue dog in

then we get to one of the main purposes of the book, a catalog of all the sins you can get disciplined for.

just to be sure, this disclaimer kicks things off:.

listed below are offenses that may require review by a judicial committee.

sparky1

Elder's Coordinator: "Young Brother Jerk and Squirt, we have called you to this meeting to discuss a delicate matter. There have been reports of you and Sister Hot to Trot spending an inordinate amount of time together alone."

Brother Jerk and Squirt: "I see brother Elder. Yes we do spend a lot of time together. We share an interest in music and musical instruments."

Elder's Coordinator: "Yes Brother. What we here on the service committee are trying to determine is if you and she have used each others instruments."

Brother Jerk and Squirt: "Of course! She lets me play with her 'squeeze box' all the time and I let her perform on my 'organ' any time she likes."

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How Do They Chose Someone To Be A Member Of The Illustrious Governing Body?

by Brokeback Watchtower in

i'm mean were talking making someone a policy maker for the corporation that can have serious financial consequences.

i'm sure intelligence is not high on the priority list for this noble office being they hate higher education and consider it a waste of time.. i'm sure they would thoroughly know the party line as any self respecting mind control would never choose an original thinker.

i'm also sure a lot of ass kissing happens before one gets chosen as a ass wiping helper which seem to be a sort of initiation into governing body corporate politics and a sort of proving ground to show your determination protect the organization from the enemy be they what ever source.

sparky1

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Can you be disfellowshipped for getting abducted by Dogman / Bigfoot / Aliens?

by John_Carter_1912 in

in episode 213 of "dogman encounters" jehovah's witness valerie grogan tells accounts of her, her mother, and her brother coming in contact with the dogman.. for those of you that don't know, the dogman is a werewolf-type humanoid creature.

there are about 7 different types of them and vic cundiff has over 243 episodes of long interviews with people that have been in contact with them.. around the 4:45 mark, she says that her mother kept telling the elders that the creatures was out there but that the elders kept saying their whole family was demon-possessed and that they would disfellowship them.. www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6ncvszwzue.

sparky1

Can you be disfellowshipped if you are abducted by aliens?

It will depend on your judicial hearing with the local elders. They will need to determine if the aliens probed you or not. You will be asked such questions as:

"Did you enjoy the probing?'

"Did you scream or call out Jehovah's name while being probed?"

"Were you probed by a male or female alien or both at the same time?"

"Did you stay on a spaceship alone overnight with an alien of the opposite sex or with an alien known to be a homosexual in the alien community?"

"Is the probing public knowledge and could it bring reproach on Jehovah's name?"

"Was the alien underage at the time and did you report the probing to the secular authorities?"

"Is there a chance that the aliens would consent to a bible study, repent of their vile deeds, and perhaps do missionary work on their home planet?"

There will be much for the elders to discuss with you in order to determine the level of your guilt or innocence. Be patient. This will take many hours of 'probing' questions by the elders and you will feel violated all over again.

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Do You Ever Have Dreams You’re Still a JW?

by jp1692 in

last night i dreamt i was at a circuit assembly; i even had a walk-on speaking part early in the morning program.

i spent the rest of the day “working” the event in a security detail.

the dream lasted until the entire day’s program was over.

sparky1

I left Bethel in 1976. For many years I had recurring dreams about signing up for Bethel again. In the dream I would sign up, be excited about going, put my affairs in order, go there and within 1 day of my arrival be filled with regret, anxiety and dread over what I had done. The dream haunted me for years up until about 8 or 9 years ago. Now I am never tortured about such nonsense.

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How many hours of field service are now required?

by new boy in

jw
friends

to be a publisher?.

an auxiliary pioneer?.

an regular pioneer?.

sparky1

Jehovah's Witnesses today have it easy! In the July 1, 1943 WATCHTOWER the following instructions for time reporting were instituted:

175 hours a month for Special Pioneers

50 Back Calls

A reasonable amount of Bible studies.

150 hours a month for Regular Pioneers

As many Back Calls and Bible studies as can be properly developed.

60 hours a month for Publishers

12 Back Calls

1 Bible study per week

"These instructions come to us FROM THE LORD (BOLDING MINE) through his established agency directing what is required of us; and for those who really love the Lord and are guided by his counsel, that is a reasonable service requirement. This EXPRESSION OF THE LORDS WILL (BOLDING MINE) should be the end of all controversy. It is for your good that these requirements are made;" The Watchtower July 1, 1943 pg 205

I read these words as a young Bethelite in the library at Watchtower Farms. It made me physically sick to read such unmitigated hubris.

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JWs and the Mob - pretty funny, but true

by FaithNoMore75 in

i thought this was pretty funny but also so sad it's so true.... how do the witnesses stack up against the mob?.

https://youtu.be/5tdzoyiivsm.

sparky1

"I know it was you, Fredo (that came up with the 1975 foolishness). You broke my heart. You broke my heart!"

519

Tony Morris video footage of him buying a dozen bottles of scotch

by UnshackleTheChains in

i was howling watching cedars latest video of tm111 buying a dozen bottles of scotch ((maccallans scotch).

you can't write this stuff.

right, i'm now off to buy a bottle of maccallans 😂..

sparky1

Something for the naysayers to think about:

"Especially as regards their personal conduct do dedicated Christians need to remember that not all things that are lawful build up. Today we may not have the problem of stumbling others by eating certain kinds of flesh, but let it be noted that Paul added, "or do anything over which your brother stumbles" - Rom. 14:21 In certain states of the United States and in certain lands the use of alcoholic liquor is taboo. For a Christian to indulge in liquor in such places may easily stumble a person of goodwill. Even where it is lawful, frequenting a bar or tavern may have the same harmful effect. Or at a social gathering one may stop short of drunkenness but still have imbibed enough to create an unfavorable impression. How much better to deny oneself a little and so leave a good impression on others!.....Of course, in all these respects the servants in a congregation and particularly the overseers have added responsibilities to keep from becoming causes for stumbling." -the WATCHTOWER September 1, 1961 pg. 542-543 in the article "KEEP FROM BECOMING CAUSES FOR stumbling".

Maybe Brother Morris needs to self reflect.

According to this article it's the IMPRESSION that you give which is of paramount importance.

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