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I WAS BROUGHT UP IN THE 'TRUTH' AND ALL OF MY IMMEDIATE FAMILY AND MOST OF MY EXTENDED FAMILY ARE ALL WITTO'S TOO. I ALWAYS HAD DOUBTS AND MADE MY DECISION AT 16 YEARS OF AGE THAT I WOULD STAY IN TIL I WAS 18 AND THEN LEAVE. WHEN I TOLD MY MUM SHE BURST INTO TEARS AND SAID SHE SHOULD NEVER OF HAD CHILDREN BECAUSE SHE COULDN'T COPE WITH US NOT BEING JW'S AND KNOWING WE WOULD DIE AT ARMAGEDDON. I FELT SORRY FOR HER AND GUILTY SO I MADE AN EFFORT ON HER BEHALF, AGAINST MY BETTER JUDGEMENT! I STARTED ASSOCIATING WITH A SPIRITUAL BUNCH OF YOUNGSTERS AND ENDED UP BAPTISED AT 18 AND STARTED REGULAR PIONEERING STRAIGHT AWAY. I MET MY FIRST HUSBAND AT 19 AND WE WERE MARRIED 11 MONTHS LATER, I WAS JUST 20. I WAS SO DESPERATE TO HAVE SEX AND TO GET AWAY FROM MY STRICT FATHER, THAT I MARRIED WITHOUT THINKING IT THROUGH PROPERLY. WE HAD NOTHING IN COMMON AND FOUND IT VERY DIFFICULT TO HAVE A CONVERSATION ABOUT ANYTHING. HE ENDED UP BEING ALMOST AS STRICT AS MY DAD, SO I WAS OUT OF THE FRYING PAN AND INTO THE FIRE. WITHIN 2 YEARS I KNEW THE MARRIAGE WAS OVER AND THAT ANY FEELINGS I EVER HAD FOR HIM WERE GONE. IF I'D BEEN MORE MATURE I WOULD HAVE LEFT HIM AND THE ORG BUT I WAS TOO SCARED AND IN TOO DEEP. INSTEAD I HAD 2 BABIES, A GIRL FIRST AND A BOY 18 MONTHS LATER. THEY WERE THE LOVES OF MY LIFE AND TOOK MY MIND OFF MY UNHAPPINESS FOR A WHILE. WHEN MY YOUNGEST CHILD WAS ABOUT 2 YEARS OLD I BEGAN TO GET CLOSE TO ONE OF MY FEMALE FRIEND'S HUSBANDS. HE WAS A MINISERIAL SERVANT AT THE TIME. HE FELT EXACTLY THE SAME ABOUT HIS WIFE AS I DID ABOUT MY HUSBAND. HE HAD MARRIED TOO YOUNG AS WELL AND HIS WIFE WAS A TOTAL BURDEN TO HIM, WHO DID NOTHING FOR HERSELF AND RELIED ON HIM FOR EVERYTHING. THE ONLY THING SHE WAS GOOD AT WAS SPENDING HIS MONEY, WHICH SHE DID ON A DAILY BASIS. SHE WAS ALSO VERY WEAK IN THE TRUTH AND NEVER WENT ON SERVICE OR ANSWERED UP OR PREPARED FOR MEETINGS OR ANYTHING. THIS PUT A FURTHER STRAIN ON THEIR MARRIAGE. ME AND MY HUSBAND WERE DRIFTING FURTHER AND FURTHER APART. HE REPULSED ME AND I HATED SPENDING ANY TIME IN HIS COMPANY. FAMILY HOLIDAYS WERE A NIGHTMARE. I STARTED SPENDING MORE TIME WITH THE MS. IT STARTED OUT AS A CLOSE FRIENDSHIP WHICH GOT CLOSER AND CLOSER. OVER THE YEARS IT GOT MORE PHYSICAL AS OUR FEELINGS DEEPENED, BUT WE NEVER HAD FULL SEX BECAUSE WE WERE AFRAID TO COMMIT ADULTERY! AFTER AN AFFAIR LASTING 8 YEARS, NOT ONLY HAD WE DRIFTED FROM OUR SPOUSES BUT WE HAD DRIFTED FROM THE TRUTH TOO. HE HAD BEEN REMOVED FROM BEING AN MS AND I WAS ALMOST INACTIVE AND HAD STOPPED PREPARING AND ANSWERING AT MEETINGS. OUR AFFAIR WAS DISCOVERED BY MY HUSBAND AND I MADE MY DECISION TO LEAVE HIM AND BE WITH A MAN I TRULY LOVED. IT WAS A TERRIBLE TIME FOR BOTH OF US. WE WERE IMMEDIATELY DISFELLOWSHIPPED FOR LOOSE CONDUCT. BUT WE MOVED IN TOGETHER WITH MY CHILDREN TOO AND WERE MARRIED 2 YEARS LATER. WE ARE REALLY HAPPY NOW, NOT JUST BECAUSE WE ARE TOGETHER BUT BECAUSE WE WERE ABLE TO LEAVE THE ORGANISATION WHICH WE HAD WANTED TO DO FOR YEARS BUT NEVER HAD THE COURAGE TO. OUR FAMILIES LIVE IN HOPE THAT WE WILL GO BACK BUT THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN. WE FEEL SO LIBERATED NOW AND HAVE LEARNT LOADS ABOUT THE ORG THAT HAS REINFORCED TO US THAT WE MADE THE RIGHT DECISION. ALL OUR KIDS ARE OUT OF THE TRUTH TOO, WHICH IS GREAT. JUST WISHED OUR PARENTS AND SIBLINGS WOULD SEE THE LIGHT TOO - HERE'S HOPING!