Mattica

Mattica

Joined

Born and raised JW until I was 18 years old and left home. Had a violent up bringing. My mother was physicaly and emotionaly abusive. I have recently discovered as well as she that she suffers from clinical depression, or what others deem it as bi-polar disorder. When I was 15 I developed a ulcer in my duodenum which landed on the main artery going through the GI tract and subsequently began bleeding to death. I refused a blood transfusion as my parents felt I was at the age of reasoning. The circumstances were the state got an emergency court order to put me in state custody and away from my parents so I could recieve a blood transfusion. So I got one anyway and thankfully none of the horrible things I was taught happened to me. I also was encouraged to quit school so I could pioneer. So I did, got a job and pioneered for 3 months or so. Then on one visit the homeowner gave me an earfull on the history of Jehovah's witnesses, and I began to question not only the blood doctrine, but also the doctrine of not being allowed to read other material by God fearing christians, not calling myself a christian, and other things. I was encouraged to get babtized but I did not feel it was right for me to do so since I was so unsure of some things. And since the elders and others could not get me to accept society views and doctrines for what they were I was disassociated. I studied again when my daughter was born. Some things happened; I had seen how other churches would have child care (Sunday School) that would teach the Word of God at a childs level while the parents could learn with out being distracted. The brother I studied with also told me that since I had joint custody, I should seriously consider attempting to get full custody of my daughter so she wouldn't be corrupted by my x-wife. Which never would have happened since my x is a good mother and a good friend. I was also told that the company I worked for which is a non-profit company that brings meaningful lives to people with disabilities may be associated with some christian non-profit charities and thus if I wished to become a publisher, I would have to quit that job. And of course the nail in the coffin was since I still do not believe the blood doctrine, I would never be allowed to spread the good news. So I am no longer studying, I attend a different church and I have been babtized. And I wish to help others who are having doubts, and are afraid to express them. And other JW's who wish to do research, but unfortunatley must go undercover to do so. Especially research on the bible.