Posts by Rosey

I was brought up a witness and it was expected of you.........I don't really remember feeling any kind of dedication in my mind....I just remember feeling like I had achieved a goal.......reached the next stage of being a jw.

I remember the date really well because it was the first of september 1990 which can read as 1.9.90 .....or 1990.

When I think back now it was the biggest mistake of my life as it meant that they could df me........I mean honestly, how can a 12 year old possibly be expected to make a decision like that......there is no way that at 12 I could ever have imagined meeting and falling in love with a non-jw...

.....heck, at 12 I was under the impression that one day that perfect jw would come along and we'd have some big old jw wedding and then I'd have babies while he went out and provided for us and he would always have the final say. Scary!......not the having babies part.....the not having a say part!

Rose x

17

Living together - Living in sin?

by Rosey in

jw
friends

i was df'd for moving in with my then boyfriend (now husband).

that was ten years ago.. my husband and i lived together for about 5 and a half years before we got married.

from day one we both talked about getting married and having children in the future but we wanted it to be something more special than a quick juant to a registry office for appearances sake.

Rosey

Thanks for everyone's comments.....

Robdar......sorry if my posts made you think it was something I was hung up on.....actually to the contrary I have no care as to whether other people agree with my decisions or not......

The reason I made the post was more out of curiosity........I recently met up with and spoke to some newly ex-jw's that I grew up with and so the messageboards called to me as they do every couple of years or so..........the topic was more one that I thought might be of interest and draw some comments from people.

I found that when I left the borg at first I had terrible nightmares......quite horrific ones.......and when I came on the ex-jw sites and started talking to people who understood what being a jw and ex-jw was all about the nightmares went away. I haven't had any of those nightmares for many years now but every so often I maybe get a chap at the door from jw's or something drags me back to the boards for a blether. I think I may have to stop shortly though as I tend to be quite compulsive with things like this and so after I have my blether about whatever pops into my head I tend to disappear from the boards again.

I hope that answers any concerns you may have. I've always been quite fond of playing devil's advocate and stirring things up a little.

Regards

Rose x

57

What are you reading right now?

by keyser soze in

jw
friends

i'm reading the trial, by franz kafka.

pretty interesting read so far, though i'm only about 90 pages into it.

it's about a man who is arrested, but no one will tell him what he's been charged with, or give him any information at all.

Rosey

Ok I wasn't sure if I should post a reply to this as everyone else's answers sound so......civilised.......but....here goes.....

I've just finished reading another Richard Laymon book called "the glory bus".......this is not for the faint of heart or the easily offended or not very easily offended as all Richard Laymon books tend to be very gory, rude horrors.........I think maybe I like to be shocked.

Another book I have just finished reading is Martina Cole's The Business which was fantastic .....as are all Martina Cole books.......they all tend to centre around english gangsters but have a strong female character who throughout terrible hardships always gets the better of whoever or whatever is the enemy.

Minette Walters is also a good writer and of course Ben Elton's "dead Famous" and all his other books.

Rose x

17

Who likes Battlestar Galactica?

by Dogpatch in

jw
friends

battlestar galactica is one of my most favorite of all tv shows, too bad it is over.

never watched the first series, but the new one is great.

mostly for the character development and the ethics issues it raises and addresses.

Rosey

Dogpatch I love Battlestar gallactica..........I just love the thought of all that future technology. I also really liked all the stargate and stargate atlantis programs and films and the Sarah Connor chronicles although they stopped for a bit here and I missed when they started up again so I might just have to buy them or something.

Another program I have been getting into is The Big Bang Theory which is hilarious........if you haven't seen it....please watch it.

Rose x ( More of a trekky than a star wars fan ........please don't cringe!)

14

JW illness

by Rosey in

jw
friends

i don't mean an illness that makes you a jw ;) that would be scary.. i was wondering if everyone else felt that there was a huge amount of illness within the borg.......if there still is?.

when i was a jw i remember there being a magazine about cfs (chronic fatigue syndrome) and me ( mylo encephalitis?

something like that) and at the time hearing a report on the radio that said it was on the increase and particularly among people in caring professions such as nurses, home workers, and jw's.

Rosey

I don't mean an illness that makes you a jw ;) that would be scary.

I was wondering if everyone else felt that there was a huge amount of illness within the borg.......if there still is?

When I was a jw I remember there being a magazine about CFS (chronic fatigue syndrome) and ME ( mylo encephalitis? something like that) and at the time hearing a report on the radio that said it was on the increase and particularly among people in caring professions such as nurses, home workers, AND JW's. Of course that was a big deal to some jw's i knew....."see people recognize we care"........

Anyway I can name in my head at least 6 JW's I knew who were diagnosed as having ME or CFS.......as well as others who had severe depression.....and illnesses like this.

Since I have left I have met ONE person with ME...a nursery nurse who hates children and her job.

Does the borg breed depressive illnesses?.......Was/Is it a common illness among jw's because they care so much they are giving up too much of their lives and not really getting anything in return? Don't know if I was being sarcastic there or not!

Comments ;)

Rose x

17

Living together - Living in sin?

by Rosey in

jw
friends

i was df'd for moving in with my then boyfriend (now husband).

that was ten years ago.. my husband and i lived together for about 5 and a half years before we got married.

from day one we both talked about getting married and having children in the future but we wanted it to be something more special than a quick juant to a registry office for appearances sake.

Rosey

mraimondi I agree that if you don't want to follow the rules of a club/ religion/ cult then you shouldn't be a part of it.

I question the immorality of living with someone though. I remember as a witness an article or discussion at a meeting about the various ways that people get married and it being said that it would depend where and when a person lived and what was accepted within that culture as being the appropriate way to get married. This is because there are so many different traditions throughout the world and have been many throughout history.

It is now widely accepted that many people live together before an official wedding ceremony and some do not decide to have an actual ceremony......that is one of the reasons that it has been legally accepted that there can be a common-law wife or husband.......

To become a common-law husband or wife requires that you live with another being in a relationship for a period of time.

So could living together with someone not be classed as a commitment to each other which is really what marriage is supposed to be about.

Just for arguments sake........

Rose x

31

Swearing - Do you?

by Rosey in

jw
friends

one of the things you're not supposed to do as a witness is swear.......but sometimes the definition of what a swear word was went too far.

for example in my family at one point my parents decided for a little while that we should stop saying the word "bum" after having used it forever.

this did not last as a swear word for very long as.........well i mean .....come on!.

Rosey

h4o I know what you mean and yet I really think it depends on the person......I mean my friend is a woman and yet it sounds totally natural.......absolutely noone finds her language offensive.........it's more like she's saying "well or em" or something like that.

Thankfully Battlestar Gallactica provided us with a replacement "f" word which even the tv announcers were allowed to say before watershed. However I will not say it "for fear I may stumble some".....hahaha the memories. Anyway any BG fans out there will know what I mean.

Rose x

A true sci-fi geek.

17

Living together - Living in sin?

by Rosey in

jw
friends

i was df'd for moving in with my then boyfriend (now husband).

that was ten years ago.. my husband and i lived together for about 5 and a half years before we got married.

from day one we both talked about getting married and having children in the future but we wanted it to be something more special than a quick juant to a registry office for appearances sake.

Rosey

I was df'd for moving in with my then boyfriend (now husband). That was ten years ago.

My husband and I lived together for about 5 and a half years before we got married. From day one we both talked about getting married and having children in the future but we wanted it to be something more special than a quick juant to a registry office for appearances sake. We eventually got engaged on a stopover in New York on our way to Bermuda. Then we got married in Mexico with my husbands sister and bil and neice with us. It was all absolutely fantastic.

The point I am trying to make is that my husband and I are married because we decided we wanted to be. Before we were married we were in a loving relationship....and partnership with each other and the actual marriage certificate did not change that in any way.

Essentially I do not view living together as "sinful". I think what is important is the relationship and respect within that relationship.

Before meeting my husband I had never even kissed anyone, he is the only one I have ever kissed or anything :) and yet I was viewed as being immoral because we did not have a piece of paper for the first 5 and a half years.

It is easy to point and say that is how hypocritical jw's are but I find that non'jw's can be just as judgmental. When I was pregnant my wedding ring would not fit on my fingers and when I was at a few of my hospital checkups one of the young nurses was very brisk and evenly slightly rude to me. My husband got me a chain to wear them round my neck as a present and the next time I was at the hospital getting my b.p. checked I mentioned to this nurse about the swelling in my fingers and so my rings not fitting. I was shocked to see her visibly relax and actually say she thought I was unmarried and then suddenly be really pleasant to me.

How does everyone else feel about it. Do you feel it is "sinful"? Have you been judged by others? Have your opinions changed?

Rose x

31

Swearing - Do you?

by Rosey in

jw
friends

one of the things you're not supposed to do as a witness is swear.......but sometimes the definition of what a swear word was went too far.

for example in my family at one point my parents decided for a little while that we should stop saying the word "bum" after having used it forever.

this did not last as a swear word for very long as.........well i mean .....come on!.

Rosey

One of the things you're not supposed to do as a witness is swear.......but sometimes the definition of what a swear word was went too far. For example in my family at one point my parents decided for a little while that we should stop saying the word "bum" after having used it forever. This did not last as a swear word for very long as.........well I mean .....COME ON!

Anyway since leaving my feelings on swearing have changed.........well I guess they were never really my feelings anyway.

Now I feel that swearing has it's place. Don't get me wrong anyone who knows me would say that I am not a person who swears........I don't think it is appropriate in front of children as I don't feel that children should be allowed to swear........just like some things are cheeky for a child to say but not for an adult. Also I don't feel it is respectful for ME to swear in everyday conversation with people. But when someone cuts in on me when I am driving or I drop somthing on my foot......it can feel really good to swear. Also in some films the swearing is totally appropritae to the storyline or the characters.

I also have an Irish friend with an incredibly thick accent who has 4 children and she uses the "f" word at least 3 times in every sentence and yet none of her cildren swear and it sounds perfectly normal. Noone would actually notice that she was swearing or find it disrespectful if they did notice.

So I was wondering what you all think.

Rose x