Rem,
I took some time to consider whether God's judgements are direct
or indirect. The reality is that you'll find a mixture of both in the
Bible as well as in "real" life. Sometimes God's judgements are
direct. But sometimes he simply allows us to suffer the natural
consequences of sin.
Since your issue is with God's direct judgements, I'd like to set
aside the issue of indirect ones for the time being.
Yes, the passages you cite do indicate that children will suffer for
the sins of their parents. And though there are cases where this is
indirect judgement, there are numerous examples where God
deliberately destroyed children along with their parents due to the
parents' sin.
Why did God do this? And does this indicate that God is cruel and
capricious?
My answer is that the existence of sin and evil in the world is a
much bigger issue than most of us are willing to acknowledge.
Without some restraints and controls, society would quickly
unravel due to the inherent weaknesses and sin within each of us. If
God did nothing, things would get worse, not better. That is what I believe both Exodus 20 and Leviticus 26 are about.
Israel had a key role in God's plan address this problem. God
wanted to bless the world though Israel (Genesis 12:1-3). He
intended to reveal himself and his nature through his relationship
with them. But God knew that Israel could easily be led away from
him and would quickly give in to sin. God dealt with Israel sternly
and forcefully to keep them from falling away and being overcome
by their sin nature.
I don't see God's punishment in this case as being cruel. It is rather a matter of justice. God hates sin. God punishes sin in order to keep men from sinning.
All governments exercise justice in order to keep people from
breaking the rules of society. Without a system of justice, all
societies would eventually fall apart and become corrupt. God's
justice is no different. He's just dealing with much bigger issues,
some of which are eternal.
When David was punished for taking taking a census (2 Samuel
24), he didn't blame God nor call God unjust or cruel. We may not
understand why what David did was a sin. But it's clear that David
accepted the consequences for his actions and didn't shake his fist at
God.
But my contention is that even if I understand these verses to be
ones that reflect God's justice (and not cruelty), they are still only
part of the picture. If I stop here, I will never fully understand what God is like.
God is also merciful and loving. I must balance what I read in Leviticus 26 and Exodus 20 and in other verses by verses by what I find elseware.
The Bible says that God punishes sin in order to keep us from
sinning. But God doesn't want us to be punished personally. God
is merciful. He offered a "substitute" to take the punishment for us.
Romans 5:8 says that "God shows his love for us in that while we
were yet sinners, Christ died for us." The rest of Romans 5 talks
about the relevance of this.
If you don't mind, I'd like to get your thoughts on these verses, "the
rest of the story."