Posts by Truth2Me

17

Twilight Zone dealing with Disfellowshiping

by whyhideit in

jw
friends

years ago i was watching a modern twilight zone, which was titled something like "the invisible man.

" i have seen it mentioned on twilight zone fan sites, but i have never been able to find a copy of it on vhs or dvd.

if anyone knows an online source, i would like to find it.

Truth2Me

Wow....

Scary the parallels to the WTS.....reading that took me back to my own experience. When I was Df'd I was living with a widowed sister. I had a lease, so legally she could not force me to leave, but I would have if she asked me too. She told me that she didn't feel that I was a "threat" to her spiritually, so she let me stay. It was like in the show described above....like I was invisable in my own house. It sucked. She didn't even give me any advance notice when she had Witness guests.....so I'd come home after work and have to leave or hide in my room. When my lease was up I moved out, but it was very ackward. At least working third shift allowed me to have the house to myself while she was at work during the day.

To add to the ackwardness....one night I left for work and noticed a note on my car. I figured it was a nasty-gram from her son, mad that I was moving, because his mom needed my rent money. (Her son lived in an apartment in the garage adjacent to the main house. I had just told my housemate that I was moving out to my own appartment, knowing she would not renew my lease because I was D'fd.) To my surprise, her son was asking me out on a date. He grew up as a Witness, but I don't think he was ever baptised, and I didn't know if he knew I was D'fd or not.

8

New Designs for Bethel Submitted Last week

by Gizmo in

.

below are the blue prints for the new bethel headquarters in new york .

.

Truth2Me

ROFLMAO!!!!!!

35

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder: anyone?

by gilwarrior in

my compultion is locks.

whenever i leave my house i have to turn the doorknob two, three, four and even five times to make sure it is locked.

i have done it so much that my door knob is getting loose.

Truth2Me

jgnat that is so true.....and funny!!!! LOL

others sometimes do get a kick outta my little OCD quorks. Though, I have started a trend...now several other woman here at work use a paper towel to open the doors when exiting the ladies room.

35

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder: anyone?

by gilwarrior in

my compultion is locks.

whenever i leave my house i have to turn the doorknob two, three, four and even five times to make sure it is locked.

i have done it so much that my door knob is getting loose.

Truth2Me

I've be aware that I've got OCD for years.....I rememer counting being an issue when I was little, and I'm also a hoarder too.....I save everything and have a really hard time throwing stuff out sometimes....but years ago I saw a special on the Discovery Channel about OCD and they suggested trying to reason with yourself "this is irrational, it's OKAY to throw this out" etc....and it did help me to try and change my self-talk and thought patterns and in turn that helped me to modify my behavior.

I have rituals that I have to do, or I feel like something terrible will happen....like at soon as I leave the house, I'm gripped with fear that I left the stove on (I have a wicked old oven/stove and it heats my apartment)....so I have to go back to check it, sometimes several times.....but mostly I have rituals about hand washing. When I was in highschool, I had "wash the school off my hands" as I would say, as soon as I got home. Now that they have Purell (instant hand sanitizer) I can't function without it.....I carry a small bottle of Purell everywhere I go. I use it constantly, everytime I touch anything like a doornob or anything that anyone else has touched.

Now....some of that started as just a health conscious thing....I saw a special on 20/20 years ago about how the common cold is spread when people touch their noses or eyes when they haven't washed their hands....so I NEVER touch my eyes or nose in public, I have to wash my hands or use Purell first. BUT I justify myself by pointing out that I hardly ever get sick. Case in point: everyone at my work is sick, but not me.....whenever I touch common areas, I use my Purell, and if someone else touches my computer keyboard or pen, I use disinfecting wipes before I will use them again.

In the ladies room, this is my routine. Open the door, head right for the sink. I first push the lever on the paper towel dispenser to release a towel, then I turn on the facet, use the soap from the soap dispencer, wash my hands, then I use the paper towell to turn off the facet (I used my dirty hand to turn it on, so I don't want to touch that!) then I use the paper towel to push the towel dispencer lever again to get another paper towel sheet to dry my hands completely. Then I can use the toilet. Then I repeat the aforementioned sink ritual, and I use a paper towel to open the doors until I get back to my desk, where I am in a "clean zone" and I can discard the paper towel.

In the winter, such as now, I have a pair of gloves that I use to touch things like door and such, to keep my hands clean. When I don't have gloves, before I had Purell, I would use the sleeve of my jacket to cover my hand, and open doors that way.

I know I have a problem, but I can live with it...it's not "out of control", so I'm okay with it. BUT not everyone else is.....I had one boyfriend who left me because he was freaked out by my rituals, his loss.

Thanks goodness for Purell!

14

Ever think of going back undercover?

by jws in

jw
friends

was watching a new tv show called "do over" where a grown man goes back in time and is a high school student again, with all of his adult knowledge.

the premise has often come to my mind.

what would i have done if i knew then what i know now?

Truth2Me

I just remember something....

Apparently some people HAVE gone back undercover, found at the door by an unsuspecting Witness, and that must be why when you get baptised they ask "Has anyone been batised before?"

When I was changing in the ladies room right before I was baptised a JW a woman came into the bathroom and asked if anyone had been baptised before and I said "Yeah, this is my third time (I was sprinked Catholic and dunked as a Born-Again Christian before meeting JWs)" She asked, panicky "as a Witness?", and I said no of course.

I wonder what the significance is legally if you go back undercover.

14

Ever think of going back undercover?

by jws in

jw
friends

was watching a new tv show called "do over" where a grown man goes back in time and is a high school student again, with all of his adult knowledge.

the premise has often come to my mind.

what would i have done if i knew then what i know now?

Truth2Me

I did consider going back as you described......but that was years ago....sometimes I think about getting reinstated and being undercover because I know the truth about the truth.....and at least I'll be a support system for the folks who are hurting and I'd be there to see things change are fall apart.....but it would be such a huge investment in my time and I don't think that I could handle it past the love bombing stage.

I was kinda like what you suggested when I first came "into the truth." I asked a million questions and I wanted to know everything.....too bad I didn't have the internet then.....it would of been a lot more fun and likely I would not have believed the fantasy world was real to begin with.

44

I Seened it With My Own Eyes @o@

by Funchback in

things i saw as a jw:.

* the "f" word spelled out on the information board in the back of the hall.

the person used the tacks used for posting letters and talks and spelled out the expletive.

Truth2Me

This whole thread is VERY amusing....I'm sitting here at work cracking up over it, and my co-workers cannot appreciate it....heeeheeee

Here's my contribution:

One year during the memorial, a guy walked in during the middle of the talk and headed into the bathroom. He had his face covered and definately stood out. The brothers immediately intervined to find out who the intruder was....turned out he was fleeing the police and he thought he could take refuge in the KM....the police showed up and took him away.....it was a very big deal, the whole hall was wicked psyched that something that exciting happened.

I never believed the rumors about how a certian family use to beat their kids until one night after book study an elder told stories of how his father beat the living daylights out of him and his brothers when they were young. He said that his father, who was also an elder, told him that "if you don't fear Jehovah then you're gonna fear me!"

A certian cong which will remain nameless had a ring of brothers who use to exchange porn under the walls of the bathroom stalls in the KH.....I never believed that until I dated one of the brothers who was from that hall.

That same aforementioned brother was an MS, and an only child....his mother viewed any female that came within a mile of him as a threat even though he was in his twenties. She blamed me for his "fall from grace" so to speak because he was publically reproved....little did she know that he was hooked on porn and the marital arts and years before I met him and he kept this from the brothers when he was made a MS.

I was very close to a family where the wife was a Witness but her husband was not, and the kids were kinda half in half out.....I was staying with them (I was 19 and homeless at the time) when I witnessed the father beat the living daytlights out of the boys who were teenagers....the next day two elders came by and everybody pretended that nothing happened....when I went to one of the elders later, heart broken over the abuse of the kids, I was told "I'm sorry you had to SEE that." Not "I'm sorry it happened" or "you should call the state and report this"......that still breaks my heart even now years later. Thankfully I got one sister who will still talk to me and she told me they're okay....so at least I know their Dad didn't kill them or anything.

We had a brother in our hall that sounded just like Porky Pig.....it was SO hard to hold back the laughter when he gave talks!!!!

When I was PMSing I use to get terrible mood swings, and I would often do or say irrational things....that I might not do or say otherwise.....one day I decided to get my tongue pierced.....which is a funny story in and of itself (my car died on the way home and I had to stop at an auto parts store and ask for help, drooling "mah cah died, ahnd I nid healp...") so at the school meeting the brother behind me was being really annoying so I turned around and stuck out my tongue.....he gasped outloud....and asked me to show his brother who was sitting next to him....so I did, they both gasped. Word spread like wild fire and by the end of the meeting little kids kept coming up to me and going "show us your tongue" and when I'd stick it out they'd go "ewwwwww gross!....DO IT AGAIN!" with delight. The elders hauled me into the Library and told me that tongue piercing were associated with lesbienism.....I replied that I did not know that (and that was true) and that everyone I knew who had one was not a lesbien and I was not one so what did it matter. They clearly did not want me to have it....and because it was getting infected and I did not yet have health insurance at the time, I decided to take it out the next morning.

That's all I can recall at the moment.....oh yeah....occaisonally we'd have an elderly sister get ahold of the microphone and starting rambling about something that had nothing to do with the topic at hand.

26

The Night the Elders called me.

by NaruNaruChan in

hey all,.

left the org approx.

one month ago, so i'm freshly out and still working my way through the depression of losing my three best friends... but anyway, not important, what i was wondering was if any of you got this line from the elders the night you went to meet with them... so here's my story, take it or leave it.. i'm a homosexual, i've known since i was young, not raised in "the truth" but converted when i was seventeen, four years ago... anyway, i suppressed it, etc, until i decided that i wanted to leave the org.

Truth2Me

Hi NaruNaruChan, Welcome to the board

I'm kinda surprised that the elders treated you that way, and would actually have the audacity to tell you that Jehovah wouldn't listen to your prayers because when I met my Judicial Commitee they actually encouraged me to keep praying, I recall one brother actually said "keep that channel of communication open." I was in very good standing when I turned myself in for fornication, having to endure the humiliation of the personal questions they ask etc....but though I felt like I didn't have the right to pray, they encouarged me to do so. I actually didn't pray for a whole year after I was D'fd.

Gee, kinda perplexes me that they actually think that putting you down would be helping you? Yikes, how is that suppose to be loving counsel? It shocks me that men who are suppose to be so spiritually mature that they are "choosen" to lovingly care for Jehovah's flock can behave in such a way.....and that sort of treated unfortunately seems to be all too prevelent from the testimonies I've read online.....I guess I was fortunate to have more mature brothers presiding over my case.

I think that the spiritual immaturity that fills many KHs is mostly a result of the friends dependance on the Society and not Jehovah himself, to the rank and file there is no destinction between dependance on Jehovah and dependance on the Organization, so many folks never "grow up" spiritually. Those Elders who met with you I'm sure could not picture Jesus treating you that way had he been there in the flesh, so it blows my mind that they claim to have Jehovah's authority to treat you that way.

You mentioned that you're "still working" through the depression from losing your best friends....it's been three years since I was D'fd and still have boughts of major depression over losing my friends. It's devastating and one cannot expect to heal over it in a short period of time. I miss my friends SO BAD, but there's nothing I can do to get them back unless I get reinstated. (Don't think that's gonna happen.) Give yourself LOTS of time to heal......I often remind myself to take things one day at a time and not to worry about more than that.

I was 18 when I first met JWs and I was searching to fill my spiritual needs, and I gave up the few friends I had to become assimulated into the WTB&TS collective.....but since being kicked out of the Borg, it's a real stuggle to make friends....one of the many reasons the internet helps to ease the loneliness, even to just lurk and know that none of us are alone.

28

I am new.

by Utopian_Raindrops in

jw
friends

ok everyone...i am new.. i don't know what to say....just hello.. i am a disfellowshipped jehovah's witness...which maybe one day i will get in detail about....but right now it's still too painful.. besides if i talk about it i feel like i am talking bad about people or hindering jehovah's spirit with others.

i realy try to shy away from speaking badly of people...even if they hurt me.. what i believe in my heart is no one can truely hurt you if your standing with the creator is good in his eyes.they in reality hurt only themselves,because they hinder thier relationship with our maker.. i do not like to talk bad about any religious group realy because, i think what if jehovah some how aproved of them and then i am introuble!.

i can't remember where the scripture is but it is about the apostles and the advice was to let them go....and if they were from god then you know....but if they weren't then it would end...thier preaching and basically god would take care of them.. i feel jesus could say the things he did of religious leaders because,well.....he is th son of god and these people claimed to represent his dad.

Truth2Me

Welcome, Utopian_Raindrop

I too was in several other religions (I was a "born again Christain" too) before being discovered by JW's when they came to my door years ago....and I've been DF'ed for over three years now....and I struggle as we all do with where "to go" and why and how and all that stuff.....but I know that my relationship between me and my Creator is just that, between me and my Creator and not dependent upon the WTS or any other organization.....and it sounds like you've come to the same conclusion, but like all humans, seek the emotional support a religion can provide.

I've found that I "need" this bored more when I'm feeling insecure and alone......the folks here remind me that I am not alone and that others do understand......I hope this bored does the same for you

Several times I've seriously considered (now being one of those times) getting reinstated.....and after awhile the feeling passes.....and I've learned that it's normal to have those feelings....but I know that if I were to get reinstated I would be living a "double life" because I know "the truth about The Truth" now, so that I cannot embrace the org as I did when I was first became a Witness, and I know that ultimately I would not be true to myself by going back because I would be obligated to teach others things I sincerely no longer believe are true........the that does not ease the struggle inside. Just be true to yourself, and if you get reinstated, make sure that is what you truly truly want/need etc. The folks here would still be there for you. One of the things I really like about this board is that there are folks here from all kinds of backgrounds from all around the world...some on active JW's and some are D'fd, Disassociated...etc, but all are welcome....something that doesn't happen in person that I know of, but happens here.

I know that though I really loved my life when I was a Witness....and I really love God (always have and always will) and I really miss my friends....if I were to get reinstated and then years later someone somewhere sometime finds out who I am and that I don't agree 100% with everything the WTS teaches, then I would be cast out.....and I don't think I could handle that. Some of the folks here on this board went through it and I think those folks must be wicked strong to have gotten through it, especially ones who grew up "in The Truth." I got myself D'fd.....on some level it was because I had a feeling something was "not quite right" with how the WTS does things.....but it was my own actions that led to my being D'fd and then I turned myself in....long story...but in retrospect I think I got myself kicked out because I knew it would be more difficult to "walk away."

Okay, I just said a whole lot.....guess it needed to come out......

Anyway....welcome, and much healing and happiness to you.

Truth2Me

18

Sharing on a judicial committee

by zev in

jw
friends

in this day and age of tightening watchtower policy, it is good to reflect on spiritual food at the proper time.

here is your meal.

eat in in good health.

Truth2Me

Hummmmm Interesting.......I've never heard of anyone in the world attending a judicial hearing.........now how would that go.......

Witness witness to "crime" : "I need you to testify at a judicial hearing that you saw Sister Sweetheart speak with Brother Badguy."

Worldly witness to "crime" : "What?"

Witness witness to "crime": "Well see her speaking to brother Badguy is a flagrant display of disrespect for Jehovah's laws for how to treat disfellowshipped ones....and you and I were the only witnesses to it and so I need you to come to the KH and testify against her."

Worldly witness to "crime" : "What the heck! What kind of crazy religion are you in."

heehee, that's why we never see folks on the outside at judicial hearings as "witnesses" against the accused.

Truth2Me