trapped28
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18
Trapped.
by trapped28 inas i write this,im aware of my heart hammering in my chest.ok where shall i start,ill try to keep this as short as possible.ive never been religious before in my life,the occasional wedding or funeral was the only time ive been in a church or viewed a bibles cover.in 2013 my step-dad was diagnosed with cancer and had to go for an operation to remove the tumor.i became close to his nephew and we communicated a lot and had a few strong feelings for each other,but neither of us told anyone,it was just harmless flirting and a few hugs that lasted a bit longer than normal.two days after my dads operation,he died through complications,and my path of self destruct was set.my boss had also been sexually harassing me at work and i was unfairly dismissed and was told by my landlord that i was to pay the rent or be evicted.then out of the blue my cousin tells me he was an unbaptised publisher (he was baptised at the aug convention last year)and to start having faith in god,that it would all work out.so i went to a kh and took up a study.that was a year ago and they now feel im ready to become a publisher.the thing is..i was made homless and am living with a jw of 50 years,a real spiritual person.these last two months ive been researching and i simply like you all disagree with so much of it.for the past twi weeks ive avoided meetings because of work,or pretended im at work and stayed away from the home i have with this witness.i cant afford to leave but at same time im being pushed to go into ministry and meetings.guys what the hell am i going to do?im so trapped scared and i cant believe i wanted to get baptised!
!my son lives with his dad and there trying to get a hold on him when he visits me!
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