LisaRose

Joined 19 years ago

• started 38 topics
• posted 6,078 times   see topics posted on
• send a message

Posts by LisaRose

• 
  51

  Help needed: transgender people and other unclear topics

  by TeaBiscuit in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  9 years ago

  first of all, i am not quite sure whether this is the right place to ask my questions.

  if this is not really appropriate, please tell me in advance, but i really did not know who to turn to, so i thought why not ask the internet... now, i know many of you are apostates and i'm not really looking for "leave it all behind you" answers, but really for experiences, thoughts and ideas... as well as maybe some verses if you can think of any.. anyway, first things first.

  since this is very anonymous and i'd like to keep it that way, i will not give you my name, but still, i think some background info might be helpful.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 

  9 years ago
• 

  LisaRose 9 years ago

  It was my understanding that any individual who was not living as the sex they were assigned at birth would have to change back before they could be baptized. I am assuming that to change your sex would be considered a disfellowshipping offense. I doubt many people would do that just to get baptized, but you never know.

  Personally I think it should be left up to the individual, gender identity disorder is now recognized as a legitimate problem by the medical community. It is not something people choose to do on a whim, or because they are confused or have mental issues. There are various things that happen in the development of a baby that causes gender identity to form, sometimes things go wrong and the child is born with a gender identity that just doesn't match their outside genitalia.

  The medical community treats this as a medical condition, and letting the person choose to live as the sex they feel they are seems to work. It's no small undertaking, but it can be done. Treating it as a moral issue, as the Watchtower does, is like blaming a diabetic for taking insulin. They are causing needless suffering to JWs who are born transgender. Imagine losing your family and friends because you have a medical condition and choose to get it resolved, it seems cruel.

  Link +3 / -0
• 
  19

  disfellowshipped wife, husband still a jw

  by thereishope in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  9 years ago

  i'm new here and haven't introduced myself yet, but have been lurking for the past couple of weeks and learned so much!

  quick first question: if i get disfellowshipped for researching info on websites other than jw.org (the official website), how can i expect to be treated by my husband still in the truth?

  ie what will he be told by the elders about how to treat me?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 

  9 years ago
• 

  LisaRose 9 years ago

  Welcome to the forum. As others have said, it's not a disfellowshipping offense to look at websites like this. You could get into trouble for talking to other JWs about what you find, so be careful what you say.

  I know it must be extremely difficult to be in your situation, so I feel for you. Your experience of being ignored once you stopped going to meetings is pretty common. I sometimes wonder if people are struggling with their own faith and don't feel strong enough to help out anyone else, I think a lot of people are having doubts and barely hanging in there. I can see where it might feel hurtful, as if you don't matter, but try not to take it personally. It would also be hard if people were bugging you about not going to the meetings, so there's that. Try to develop friends outside the organization, not just in the internet but in real life, this will help you transition to life outside of the JWs. In the meantime we are here, please feel free to send me a private message if you want to vent or chat.

  Lisa🌹

  Link +3 / -0
• 
  52

  What's your favourite feel good movie ?

  by jhine in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  9 years ago

  maybe it's time for a less serious thread .

  i have just finished watching dirty dancing ( again ) .

  what is your feel good movie , the one that makes you smile and cry happy tears ?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 

  9 years ago
• 

  LisaRose 9 years ago

  Amelie

  Bread and Tulips - Italian, about a wife and mother who is treated badly and taken for granted by her husband and children.

  Inside Out - This is animated movie, I had to talk my husband into watching it, but he agreed it was was great

  Bend it like Beckham

  The Devil Wears Prada

  Groundhog Day

  Mr. Holland's Opus

  Little Miss Sunshine

  Link +2 / -0
• 
  46

  Many are leaving their enforced, inbred and inherited religions, and surprise it's not just JWs...

  by UNCONDITIONAL LOVE in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  9 years ago

  i want to share this great article from an informative website on religion and how it is an age old play on emotions and why many are fleeing from religion, including you.

  the other insightful articles on this website will help to soothe your complex worries and open your eyes to a great reality.. one love.

  http://wakeup-world.com/2015/11/21/waking-up-from-religion/.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 

  9 years ago
• 

  LisaRose 9 years ago

  If it walks like a duck......

  Link +1 / -1
• 
  30

  Do you play the lottery?

  by Iamallcool in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  9 years ago

  for me, i have only purchased just one powerball ticket in my life, that was few years ago and i am thinking about buying some more in the near future.

  maybe i should push my luck even more this time.

  i am going to buy 10 tickets.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 

  9 years ago
• 

  LisaRose 9 years ago

  I feel the lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math. You odds are better playing the slots, or better yet, the stock market.

  Link +2 / -0
• 
  46

  Many are leaving their enforced, inbred and inherited religions, and surprise it's not just JWs...

  by UNCONDITIONAL LOVE in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  9 years ago

  i want to share this great article from an informative website on religion and how it is an age old play on emotions and why many are fleeing from religion, including you.

  the other insightful articles on this website will help to soothe your complex worries and open your eyes to a great reality.. one love.

  http://wakeup-world.com/2015/11/21/waking-up-from-religion/.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 

  9 years ago
• 

  LisaRose 9 years ago

  I suspected the Brama Kumaris because the op sounded very much like their spiel, but it seems to be another flavor of woo, to use Cofty's words.

  I am always suspicious when anyone claims to have any kind of alternative to religion. There doesn't need to be an alternative to religion, other than reason and logic, and anybody who claims to have such invariably has something that might as well be a religion in the end. Just because you don't claim to represent God doesn't mean you can't use cult like techniques and any cult is destructive.

  I doubt if anyone here would fall for something like this, but you never know. People who have just woken up to the reality that the JWs are not the truth are in a vulnerable situation, it can tempting to then jump into something that claims to have all the answers, but it's like jumping from the frying pan into the fire. The hard reality is that nobody has all the answers to life's perplexing problems, and anyone that claims that they do is lying to you. Reality is hard, but I prefer it to a comforting lie.

  The fact that Unconditional Love got so upset with me and started calling me delusional for simply suggesting that people be careful is further proof that this is some version of a cult. Of course people in a cult will always hotly deny they are in a cult, just like we did when we were JWs, it's the nature of the beast. People who are just sharing something they found helpful do not get that emotionally invested, they would just share it and let others decide if they are interested, they wouldn't take it personally that someone simply suggested others be cautious. That sent my BS meter from warm to red hot.

  The website seems fairly innocuous, but then the JW org website does as well. I'm sure if you investigated this further you would find they are using cult mind control techniques: deception, exclusivity, fear and intimidation, love bombing and relationship control and time control. If you got more into it I am 100% sure that they would tell you (after a honeymoon period of love bombing) that you must get much more heavily involved and invest time and money to get the full benefits of their very special program, the truths that only they have, the insights that only they can give you, the answers that only they have found.

  Link +1 / -0
• 
  53

  She displayed a literature cart in front of my house: That does it for me!

  by Tempest in a Teacup in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  9 years ago

  is this something they've asked them to do?

  cart displays in front of their homes?

  my mom is only in her mid 60s so i'm quite sure this is not an issue of mental illness.. the only illness she's suffering from is boredom since she's refused to work for years now.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 

  9 years ago
• 

  LisaRose 9 years ago

  It sounds like you need to work on your communication with your mother. If you talk to her without losing your temper, then she cannot accuse you of losing your temper. I get that mothers are good at pushing buttons, but you cannot let her get to you like that.

  Choose a time that you are not stressed or rushed and sit down and have a conversation. Prepare what you have to say and do not let her get off track with emotional issues.

  You: Mom, I need to set some rules of you are to continue to live with me. You are welcome to engage in the preaching work, but not in my neighborhood.

  Mom: I'm your mother, Its my right to preach, you are being mean.

  You: I respect you as my mother, but you are living in my house, and those are the rules here. Do you want to continue to live here or not?

  Mom: You have to let me live here, I'm you mother.

  You: No I don't. Those are the rules, do you want to live by my rules or not? It's up to you, but otherwise you will have to find a new place to live.

  Mom: I'm going to call the elders, you are being unreasonable.

  You: I suggest you do call them. They will agree that as the head of the house I have the right to set the rules, and that they don't actually allow cart witnessing at residential homes anyway.

  Mom: You would kick your own mother out?

  You. As I said, it's your choice to live by the rules or not. I am not preventing you from preaching, you simply have to agree to preach elsewhere. You are the one making the problem, not me.

  Mom. So you are ashamed of your religion? You are ashamed of me?

  You. Of course I am not ashamed of you. But it doesn't matter what my reasons are, it's my house and my rules, do you want to live by my rules or not?

  You get the idea. No matter what your mother does, keep turning the conversation back to this simple point, it's your house and your rules. If you refuse to get drawn into the drama and stick to your point there isn't a lot she can do, you hold the power because you are paying the rent. Let her storm off and slam the door or cry, don't placate her or give in. If she starts preaching again, calmly sit her down and have the whole conversation again. Eventually she will see it's not worth the effort and give in.

  It may seem like a lot of effort, but if she is like this with this issue she will be like this with other issues. It's better to set the rules and stick with them now.

  Link +3 / -0
• 
  46

  Many are leaving their enforced, inbred and inherited religions, and surprise it's not just JWs...

  by UNCONDITIONAL LOVE in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  9 years ago

  i want to share this great article from an informative website on religion and how it is an age old play on emotions and why many are fleeing from religion, including you.

  the other insightful articles on this website will help to soothe your complex worries and open your eyes to a great reality.. one love.

  http://wakeup-world.com/2015/11/21/waking-up-from-religion/.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 

  9 years ago
• 

  LisaRose 9 years ago

  I didn't say it was a cult, I just said for people to be cautious, because we have had cult members attempting to come here to promote their religion. You should not mind that, if you are not here to promote a religion then it shouldn't be a problem for you at all. The fact that you got crazy and started calling me delusional makes me even more suspicious of your motives.

  Can you deny categorically that you are not part of Brahma Kumaris?

  Link +10 / -0
• 
  70

  Someone anonymously tipped the elders?

  by raven in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  9 years ago

  so here an update on my current situation, in a nutshell i've been trying to quietly fade for the past 5 months.. well, my mom somehow found out that i am currently fading and that i live with my boyfriend (for more info on this check my previous posts) i told her yes i live with him and yes i no longer want to be a jw.

  anyways, yesterday she met my boyfriend.. awkward.

  and after lunch she pulled me aside to tell me that the po came up to her (he was part of my jc when i was reproved) he said to her "someone came to me and said - i cannot say who so they will remain anonymous- but that your daughter is living with someone" my mom confirmed and apparently he told her that i have one week to confess this, and if i don't my parents are obligated to tell them everything.. what kind of nonsense is that?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 

  9 years ago
• 

  LisaRose 9 years ago

  It's a cult, that how a cult works, they do want to control you. Technically, if you have stopped attending meetings and are not calling yourself a JW they should leave you alone, but there are no hard and fast rules about how long you need to have been away, so it's entirely up to the judgement of the elders, people have been pursued for years after leaving. You can refuse to meet with the elders, they may then leave you alone or they could disfellowship you on the testimony of your mother. Realize that either way you mother (and other) may shun you.

  Your choices rests how badly you want to avoid being disfellowshipped. Is it just your mother you wish to maintain contact with? Will she shun you if you are disfellowshipped? If you feel you must keep those relationships then your only option is to go to the elders and confess. Hopefully you can fake repentance enough to get reproved, but I wouldn't count on it. If you are disfellowshipped, then you will have to go through the motions to get reinstated. Are you and your boyfriend at a point where you are considering marriage? If so that could allow you to keep the relationship while still attempting to get reinstated.

  Personally, I wouldn't give them the time of day, you owe those elders nothing and it's your life, I could not stomach going to a committee meeting and being treated like I was disobedient child, nor could I force myself to attend meetings, but I realize that attitude comes with consequences, and that not everyone is willing to lose those family relationships. These are horrible choices, and I feel for you, because there are no easy answers in this situation.

  
  

  
  

  Link +3 / -0
• 
  46

  Many are leaving their enforced, inbred and inherited religions, and surprise it's not just JWs...

  by UNCONDITIONAL LOVE in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  9 years ago

  i want to share this great article from an informative website on religion and how it is an age old play on emotions and why many are fleeing from religion, including you.

  the other insightful articles on this website will help to soothe your complex worries and open your eyes to a great reality.. one love.

  http://wakeup-world.com/2015/11/21/waking-up-from-religion/.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 

  9 years ago
• 

  LisaRose 9 years ago

  I don't know anything about this, but I just want to caution people to be wary of posters who come to JWN just to promote something, this poster has no history here. We often get people who are attempting to recruit for cults but who are not open and honest it, so be careful.

  Link +5 / -0