Posts by LisaRose

9

Cold war on homefront!

by LifesNotOver in

jw
friends

a few months back i let it be known to my husband that i was no longer interested in anything jw related.

when he took it to the elders, without actually divulging anything that might get me disfellowshipped like apostasy - well, he just basically told them i was all depressed and discouraged and everything and that i didn't want to be contacted by the elders about it.

i don't know what he actually told them, word for word, or what they actually said to him word for word, but he told me they told him not to do anything spiritual with me at home anymore - no bible study, praying, daily text, meetings via phone, jw broadcasting, discussions, etc.

LisaRose

I'm sorry you are going through this, it sounds horrible. I don't know all your circumstances, but you may at some point have to consider moving on from the marriage. By all means give counseling a try, but in my experience most people don't want to change, they want the other person to change. Without obligation imposed upon you by the religion, what is there holding you two together?

Be honest in what you say in counseling, don't sugar coat it in an attempt to not be the bad guy. Your needs and wants are just as important to his, he doesn't get to dictate conditions because you chose to walk away from the religion. Don't feel guilty because you changed or cater to his Watchtower fueled delusions of a woman's place in the marriage.

Lisa 🌹

16

I've been in love with a Jehovah Witness without knowing it for a long time, he hid it from everyone.

by sakurafeathers in

hello :) so i know this guy for almost 6 years, i met him when i was 15 and i felt in love.

now i’m 21 and he is 22. we were in the same class and got along very well and he seemed to like me too.

when i confessed, face to face he haven't admitted and he haven't denied it and he acted like he liked me too but couldn't be with me because reasons bigger than him, but i was too young to understand and he was young to handle the pressure he had.

LisaRose

My suggestion is to move on in your life and forget him. I know that is harsh, but you need to face reality. He is very conflicted between his beliefs and his feelings for you, but he needs to pick one and commit, otherwise there is no future for you, he is doing you a disservice by holding out hope of a possible relationship, it's cruel. The problem is that this is not a normal religion, it is a cult. They keep people tied up in these feelings of fear, obligation and guilt, it's really difficult to get them to make rational, independent decisions.

Even if he did marry you your life would forever revolve around his beliefs. You may think you could work with that, but it will get old. He will be looked down on for having married outside "the truth", you will be considered less than by everyone he knows. What happens when you have children? Do you want them going to the kingdom hall to be told everyone but Jehovah's Witnesses will die soon at Armageddon? Trust me, he will feel an obligation to teach them these things. Do you want to celebrate Christmas, birthdays and other holidays by yourself? This is the reality of life as an "unbelieving mate".

16

Jehovah's Witnesses - a religion of displaced people?

by slimboyfat in

i've had a theory for a long time that jws historically have appealed to people who have been displaced or find themselves in a new environment away from family and friends.

i also read an article recently that suggested that internal migration in italy was a big boost for jw growth.

more generally it has long been theorised that new religious movements are a phenomenon particularly associated with disruptive features of modernity, including the hyper-mobility of people in the modern age.

LisaRose

I believe there is some truth to that. People who are lonely or struggling are probably more likely to listen to a Jehovah's Witness who comes to their door. They are friendly, many are personable, they will come to your house and study with you, someone struggling in a new area might be vulnerable to that.

After I left the religion my daughter started studying with some JWs that came to her door. She was a new mom and was just lonely. Fortunately she came to her senses and started looking into things more and realized it was not for her.

28

Daughter doesn't want me to push my beliefs on her

by jws in

jw
friends

so i was talking with my daughter the other day and she tells me that she doesn't want me to push my beliefs on her.i am agnostic.

which isn't a belief.

it's a lack of belief.

LisaRose

I guess all I can do is show her again and again where blind faith is a problem and rationalism is better.

I don't think that will work. No one wants to be told they are wrong, especially not over and over, she will resist and shut down and you will do more harm than good.

The best you can do is ask questions designed to get her to think and to listen without judgements to her thoughts. It's a process that takes time and patience and a great deal of self control. Hearts and minds are never changed overnight. Think of it like nurturing a plant, you must water it carefully, not too much or too little, and wait for it to grow, more water will not make the plant grow faster, it can only use so much at a time. Telling someone over and over that faith is a problem and rationalism is the solution is like dumping gallons of water on a tiny seedling, it won't make it grow faster it will just kill it.

48

"Mother" Teresa—a Fraud?

by Saename in

i often comment in threads that interest me on this forum.

moreover, some of you may know that i study the history of early christianity.

i once wrote an extensive comment on the historicity of jesus' existence in one of the threads.

LisaRose

To justify her sainthood they used the example of a woman who claimed that MT cured her tumor by placing her religious metual on it. The only problem is that at least one doctor who treated her claimed that it was not a tumor, but a cyst, so not so miraculous after all. You would think that if she had even minor faith healing abilities they could come up with better examples than that.

But then why should the church question things too much, creating a saint is a sure money making proposition.

6

DNS Issue (Problem Accessing Site)

by Simon in

if anyone had any issues accessing the site over the last 24 hours or so, i finally tracked it down to a dns issue that was affecting users of google dns in certain zones.

the issue was caused by a rouge dnssec entry left by the registrar (godaddy) when they did an update which caused some dns lookups to fail.. hopefully it should be fixed now but may take a while to ripple through to everyone due to caching..

LisaRose

Glad it's fixed, I was going through JWN withdrawal.

137

Mouthy has Passed Away

by Simon in

jw
friends

update on mouthy (grace gough)this is graces granddaughter.

i wanted to send an update that today my beautiful grandmother passed away - surrounded by friends and family.

- may 22 1927 - sept 2nd 2016. mouthys_granddaughter.

LisaRose

She was an amazing lady, so sad to hear of her death.

Lisa 🌹

10

Today is my first "Shunniversary"

by dubstepped in

jw
friends

i just wanted to thank this community for being there during my most difficult period of life.

even if it wasn't a direct interaction, i was reading, and i've taken away a lot over the past year plus.

on september 2 of last year the local congregation announced that my wife and i were no longer jehovah's witnesses because we chose to disassociate.

LisaRose

'm new here and a witness from 60s and 70's. I don't want to become a witness again, but miss having a community of worshippers. I can't buy the trinity, heaven and other Typically Christian beliefs. Where do I go to worship in truth?
There are churches that allow you to believe what you want. The United Church of Christ (UCC) is one. They have no doctrine. I am sure there are others, this is one I know of.

27

Are you sad or angry?

by raven in

after exiting the org, i mean cult, how have each of you felt personally about the lies you had been taught, the hurt from feeling betrayed by these people, actual hopes of once believed false teachings, rose colored lenses of seemingly just and right doctrines that turned out to be a bunch of horse $#!+, the shunning of family and friends?

right now i am going through the motions, i've just moved to a new home, which means hopefully no more elders searching for me at my previous address.. i can't help but feel sad though right now because of the fact that although i am not df'd ( maybe the elders will do it in absentia assuming i've been avoiding them and the 2 jc's they've invited me to as well as the last handwritten letter at my door before i moved ) my mom treats me as though i am dead to her, she says " i am living the life of a disfellowshipped person, and until i come back to jehovah this is how things will be because this was my choice to leave jehovah " ok i get it, but i don't- everyone has free will, so yes this was my choice but it is also her choice to shun me, especially after the "shun unrepentant wrongdoers" talk at the rc, funny how they come out with these talks to reel members back in.. she claims that she has an obligation to jehovah of which she promised to him after she was baptized not at 11, 13, or 17 ( young ages ) but fricken 26 years old.

i absolutely hate this organization and everything that it is, it's taken away my family and most importantly my own mother.. i always thought that a mothers love was to be unconditional, but hers for me is only conditional.

LisaRose

At first I was just relieved to be free of the whole thing, the fear, obligation and guilt. Then, I was sad at how much of my life had been wasted. Then, when I found it how much of everything I believed had been based on lies, I was angry. Eventually I realized anger was a useless emotion and would hold me back from living a great life, and I am not going to let the Watchtower hurt me twice, so I got over it. My life has turned out pretty well, the Watchtower is very much in my rear view mirror at this point.

44

What are the chances of having a one on one with GB member

by Chook in

jesus drifted amongst the lowly folk .

LisaRose

I would imagine a sizeable donation, say in the seven figure range, would probably do the trick.