Everybody has regrets about their life whether they were JWs or not. Yes, if I had to do over again I wouldn't have spent one minute in that hateful cult. But not everything about that life was horrible, I was healthy, I had friends, a good job, I raised two great kids. I missed out on a lot too, but I make a conscious choice each day to be grateful for what I have now and I don't dwell on what I missed out on, because that would mean the religion was stealing even more of my life and I'm not going to let that happen.
LisaRose
JoinedPosts by LisaRose
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How do you get over all the things that you missed? The stuff you can't get back
by JW_Rogue inlook my life is not bad but sometimes i just think about all the normal things i missed out on.
and no i'm not talking about christmas and birthday parties.
i'm talking about your first kiss happening in your twenties instead of your teens.
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What is behind your choice of forum user name?
by stuckinarut2 injust curious how we all think.. what prompted or influenced your choice of username for this forum?.
there are some really amazing names, and it would be great to hear the stories behind them.... mine was nothing fancy.
i just felt "stuck in a rut too" along with so many others.
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LisaRose
Welcome, Novicelocs14. If you ever go into a KH again I would love to see the looks on the faces as you walk in, lol.
Wake Me Up Before You Jo Ho. Kudos for a most original forum name, but now I have an earworm (song stuck in head).
Lisa is my real first name, rose because I love roses.
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DA myself to relieve great pressure?
by Isambard Crater inmy lifelong mental illnesses, fuelled significantly by the borg, are very bad at the moment and result in me missing lots of midweek meetings, but i haven't missed a sunday in years except the occasional vacation.. the nature of my mental and emotional illnesses mean that i, as a physically in and mentally out pimo, take to heart very painfully admonishment from the platform to never miss meetings, preach all i can, and so on.. okay, i report 3 hours each month on average and no elder has ever said anything, but when they make comments on the platform, i feel such great guilt and shame, but also anger, as they do not understand my illnesses and when i do mention my situation to elders, they kind of minimise and joke about it.. some other sisters in my congregation started "officially" not attending midweek meetings a few year's ago because of their own health circumstances, but i know for a fact that some elders look down on them for this reason, not showing real understanding deep down even if they do on the surface.. i have reached the point where i want to hand in a da letter as a cry for help, or more like a clear indicator to them that when i say i'm not well enough to attend midweek, i really mean it and it's not just an excuse.
sure, i'm only 42, but i can still be too fragile to go out at night with a 30 minute drive both ways..
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LisaRose
You say that you know it's not "the truth", but are still looking for approval and permission from the elders to miss meetings? Why? This is an organization that publishes accounts of brothers in Africa who walk miles and cross alligator infested rivers to get to the Kingdom Hall, why would you imagine the elders, who have no education or training in mental illness, are ever going to give you permission to miss meetings due to mental health issues? They have been trained to believe that their are no good reasons to miss the meetings.
I believe this religion is toxic to sensitive, guilt prone individuals. Instead of looking for approval from the elders, work on freeing yourself from Watchtower induced guilt, the elders only have the power that you give them.
I highly recommend meditation, it has been very helpful to me.
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Dealing with Elderly Parents Who Still Believe the jw Religion is the truth
by lancelink ini left the religion back in 2008 right after my mother died,( the total lack of natural love/ affection was the final straw for me).. but my dad has become more and more focused on doing the wt bidding.. it just amazes me how he gushes on and on about the last days, his new bible studies, and meeting parts .
but yet he makes no effort to have any type of relationship with his grandkids, there are 5 of them , non are witnesses.
they are the children from several different sisters of mine, and myself.. so how do you deal with the witness stuff always being presented in conversations?.
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LisaRose
I can see why that would be very difficult. On the one hand he has something that is meaningful to him, and of course he has a right to his own beliefs and it would probably not benefit him to lose it at this point. On the other hand it's hard to listen to him spouting nonsense without saying anything.
I guess if it were me I would not say anything unless he tried to get me to agree with him, in which case I would just respond "Dad, this is something that we have to agree to disagree on. Hey how about those (local team name)?
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The denial of 1975 when and how did they go about it.
by Crazyguy ini was pretty young in 1975, all i remember was a few complaining at the hall after and those at the door that razed us over it.
does anyone remember how they went about denying it and when this started.
i do remember a scripture in psalms about people being mighty and living longer so this was used.
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LisaRose
As 1975 grew closer the Watchtower was already back pedaling a bit about that date being the end. For a while not much was said about it, some people still believed it was going to happen any time, others did not, mostly people didn't talk about it. By the time the Watchtower did talk about it, they basically tried to shift blame, acting as if some people "went ahead of the things written" when the reality was that they did everything they could to make people believe that the world was ending while not actually saying so in so many words.
I am sure some left because of it, but most people accepted the half hearted explanation, because to do otherwise would mean that they would have to admit they were wrong to put their trust in the Watchtower and also it meant would have to do something about it, something most people were not willing to do. It was just easier to accept the lane excuse and go on with their way of life. I know because I was one of those people. Like many, I had invested years of my life in the religion and wasn't ready to face the possibility that it was all just a lie.
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Scientific reason why it's hard to get someone to change their beliefs.
by LisaRose inmany of us have had the experience of trying to share our knowledge of the dark side of the watchtower with those we love, only to have it end badly with the person getting deeply upset and refusing to believe any of it.
a new study might shed some light on the problem.
this brain study looked at what happens when someone's belief system is challenged.
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LisaRose
Neuroscience tells us then that the brain closes the shutters and tightens its grip on existing belief if one’s worldview and identity are challenged, so it’s a good heads-up on how we talk to believers.
Yes, that is the important point in this article and explains much about why you will almost never convince a JW that the Watchtower is wrong by pointing out it's flaws. You actions are counter productive because you are threatening the person's sense of self, the battle is lost at the get go.
The few examples of people that got others out of the religion all worked because they didn't ever criticIze the Watchtower. Instead they asked leading questions designed to get the person to think.
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Happy Birthday to Me!
by Iown Mylife inthere's a beautiful sky this morning.
it's my birthday, today i'm 64 and look every inch of it, but i appreciate my life and feel fortunate to be cult-free.
also very fortunate to have a purposeful and entertaining existence here in gorgeous north georgia (in the usa).
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LisaRose
Happy birthday🎶👑🎂🎁
I'm right behind you, 62 myself. It's wonderful now to enjoy the simple pleasures in life like celebrating a birthday, I'm so glad I can do these things now without guilt. I made a special meal for Valentine's day for my husband, his favorite, rack of lamb with fresh mint sauce. He got me flowers and a nice bottle of wine, afterwards we did the dishes together and talked about the last seventeen years and our first Valentines day when we're living in different
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Scientific reason why it's hard to get someone to change their beliefs.
by LisaRose inmany of us have had the experience of trying to share our knowledge of the dark side of the watchtower with those we love, only to have it end badly with the person getting deeply upset and refusing to believe any of it.
a new study might shed some light on the problem.
this brain study looked at what happens when someone's belief system is challenged.
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LisaRose
Many of us have had the experience of trying to share our knowledge of the dark side of the Watchtower with those we love, only to have it end badly with the person getting deeply upset and refusing to believe any of it. A new study might shed some light on the problem. This brain study looked at what happens when someone's belief system is challenged. What is it that makes people emotional and angry when their beliefs are challenged?
The MRIs showed that the parts of the brain that were triggered control deep, emotional thoughts about personal identity.
“When people activate these emotional structures of the brain more, when they’re being challenged, they’re less likely to change their minds,” the professor explained.This study used political beliefs to test subjects, but you could probably make a guess that the same thing happens when religious beliefs are challenged, possibly even more so, especially when it comes to someone in a religion like Jehovah's Witnesses. The reverse could also happen, I have read many stories of EX JWs who become emotional when they run into Jehovah's Witnesses, in fact when the JWs came to my door I was kind of shook up, although I had been away for years and was happy in my new life.
Full article here:
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/mri-brain-study-usc-political-beliefs-challenged/
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So, the Womens March ... What Is It For?
by Simon init seems like mobilizing after the election, which seems pointless.
i keep hearing demands for equal rights but don't understand what rights they are missing exactly.. normally a march is to show the support (and potential votes) for a cause, but ... votes for what?
... and the election happened already.. is anyone else confused?
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LisaRose
`ll bet the majority of all those women and men taking part in all these protests in the USA never took the time or effort to vote at the election .
That's the silliest thing I have seen so far on this topic. To think that people who went through the effort to march in a protest, many of them coming from out of state, wouldn't have taken the five minutes to fill out a ballot and mail it in is absurd.
I voted, so did everyone I know that marched today.
Evidence?
I didn't think so.
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Women's March on Washington
by azor inmy support is with the marchers in washington and around the country today.
i was raised through my formative years by my mother and sister while my father was out of the picture.
they gave me the compassion i have today.
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