Posts by LisaRose

30

Annoying jws

by Jrjw in

jw
friends

a 'concerned' jw in my congregation rang me earlier and said she's noticed my daughter sits miserable at the meetings and said she's a right miserable girl in general.

i said she's happy and hyper when she's not at the meetings they're just really boring and she doesn't want to be there.

apparently i'm a bad parent coz she feels that way.

I have a hard time dealing with bullies also, it's just not in my nature, although I am getting better. It's hard to overcome the conditioning that says you must be nice all the time, even when others are not. Just practice a few phrases that will work in multiple situation, say them over and over until they come naturally, like "I appreciate your concern, but she is just fine (or I am fine)", then walk away. I also like "Oh really? Interesting." said in a tone that conveys you don't actually find it interesting at all.

Never feel you have to explain yourself, that just gives them ammunition, the less said the better, you will never win an argument with people like that.

36

Kleenex Head Covering

by jwundubbed in

growing up a woman in the cult was pretty bleak.

most of the adult women i knew were either depressed sad women or an embarrassment to me.

i was typical kid in that regard.

LisaRose

Yes, some women did "wear the pants in the family" (which is, by the way, a sexist term), because we are all unique individuals. Some women just have stronger personalities, they are not going to be subservient no matter how much the organization tells them they should. It's a spectrum, just as some men are less stereotypically masculine.

It doesn't change the fact that most women bought into the idea that they were less than and acted accordingly. I have been out of the cult for seventeen years and still have problems at times standing up for myself and expressing my needs, it's partly my nature and partly the teachings of the religion. Deep rooted beliefs like that work on an unconscious level and are very hard to overcome, I have made progress, but still have a ways to go.

76

Hi, all...I'm a faithful JW who is sick of lies about us

by James Donalds in

i was baptized 30 years ago and have been in the faith for over 35 years.. our organization isn't perfect.

but i'm sick to death of seeing stereotypes about us.

we are not mindless automatons.

LisaRose

So you are a Jehovah's Witnesses who obviously doesnt acually believe what the organization teaches. How does that disprove the stereotype of believing JWs, who actually follow the direction of the organization?

315

Flat earth vs round earth

by Jrjw in

my brother has been talking about the earth being flat and some big conspiracy going on to make people beieve otherwise.

what are people's thoughts on this?.

LisaRose

It's pretty much like believing the Watchtower. If you look only at one point of view, rely entirely on cherry picked bits of information and ignore reason, science and logic, then you can be persuaded to believe just about anything.

Conspiracy theories thrive because people want to imagine they are smarter than others and have special, inside knowledge. It takes a willful ignorance to maintain a belief in a flat earth.

Education is the antidote, spend an hour on Wikipedia looking at evidence of a round earth, then you will never fall for that particular stupidity.

23

A Former Jehovah's Witness shares her me too story

by LisaRose in

https://ww2.kqed.org/news/2017/12/16/a-former-jehovahs-witness-shares-her-metoo-story/.

when i was 23 years old, i started dating a (jehovah’s) witness boy and we’d go out to some dance clubs.

there was a night in particular where i had too much to drink.

LisaRose

Another Me Too Story:

I was asked to relate an experience by another poster, who wishes to remain anonymous. She has never told anyone, because she was too ashamed and embarrased. It is like many stories I have read over the years, both here and elsewhere in the way she was treated by the elders. She was digitally assaulted by a so-called "professional" brother who worked in the medical field when she was 19 and under anesthesia.

I woke up on the table convulsing and shivering and he'd pulled out my breasts from my bra and shirt also. He had to call an ambulance because I wouldn't snap out of my convulsive state and he would face malpractice if I didn't receive the appropriate medical attention. I spoke with the hospital personnel once I'd come to properly. They called the police who then ran a report and had two detectives investigate the brother. It got back to my congregational elders and they forcibly insisted I meet with them to discuss the details. I said "no" because it was too traumatic for me. They kept pushing and even went so far as to say that the accused had formed a counter case with HIS elders against ME. I told the elders firmly that I deny in advance anything said and that if they had further questions, they can contact the detectives and/or the police. My elders kept pushing and pushing, saying "if someone were making an allegation against me, I'd at least want to hear what they were accusing me of!" I cried and said I wasn't interested because it would hurt me even more, adding insult to trauma. From then on, I couldn't even look my elders in the eye because of the disapproving looks they had on their faces. It felt like they were accusing me with their eyes for hiding something. All because I didn't want to get in that back room with them and listen to what the man who I'd been sexually assaulted by had said to vilify me. "

I am sure it was very difficult for her to tell this story, she told me that at one point she typed it and then back spaced it all out. Obviously she felt it important to get this story out and I am so glad she did, kudos to her for taking the risk. The more women who tell their stories, the easier it will be for others. No woman should feel embarrassed and ashamed because of the actions of the men who assault them.

35

The wife told me I think too much...

by James Mixon in

jw
friends

please tell me how not to think too much and get a good night sleep.

when i was a jw i didn't think too much because i knew everything, but now my mind works overtime.

how in the hell can i shut it down and stop the anxiety???

LisaRose

I find meditation to be very helpful for quieting the mind. I like the guided meditations on you tube by The Honest Guys, especially for those new to meditation. It's easy, you just put some headphones on and they talk you through it. There are different meditations, for anxiety, sleep, healing, etc.

Here is one for anxiety:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Jyy0ra2WcQQ

23

A Former Jehovah's Witness shares her me too story

by LisaRose in

https://ww2.kqed.org/news/2017/12/16/a-former-jehovahs-witness-shares-her-metoo-story/.

when i was 23 years old, i started dating a (jehovah’s) witness boy and we’d go out to some dance clubs.

there was a night in particular where i had too much to drink.

LisaRose

There is a big difference between a couple already in a sexual relationship getting a little tipsy and having sex and a woman who is passed out drunk and is then assaulted by a casual boyfiend, she was a virgin before this, so no way could it be presumed that she gave consent.

If you don't see a difference between those two things then you are part of the problem.

23

A Former Jehovah's Witness shares her me too story

by LisaRose in

https://ww2.kqed.org/news/2017/12/16/a-former-jehovahs-witness-shares-her-metoo-story/.

when i was 23 years old, i started dating a (jehovah’s) witness boy and we’d go out to some dance clubs.

there was a night in particular where i had too much to drink.

LisaRose

Clarification: It was not my experience, but part of the news article, I should have put it in quotes.

It's just sad that a woman felt she had to marry a man who raped her, but she still got disfellowshipped for fornication when she confessed to the elders.

Nobody should loose all their family and friends because they were young and stupid and had too much to drink.

48

Latest JW.org Statistics Are Confusing & Lack Context

by steve2 in

earlier this week a new post on this forum announced that the 2017 worldwide annual service report was available on jw.org.

wow - that's earlier than the statistics for the 2016 service year which appeared in the 2017 yearbook last january!

good effort, jw organization!

LisaRose

There is a lot you can do to to obscure the truth while not technically reporting false information.

Or as Mark Twain said, there are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies and Statistics.

23

A Former Jehovah's Witness shares her me too story

by LisaRose in

https://ww2.kqed.org/news/2017/12/16/a-former-jehovahs-witness-shares-her-metoo-story/.

when i was 23 years old, i started dating a (jehovah’s) witness boy and we’d go out to some dance clubs.

there was a night in particular where i had too much to drink.

LisaRose

https://ww2.kqed.org/news/2017/12/16/a-former-jehovahs-witness-shares-her-metoo-story/

When I was 23 years old, I started dating a (Jehovah’s) Witness boy and we’d go out to some dance clubs. There was a night in particular where I had too much to drink. Then the next thing I remember was waking up when I felt my hymen break. I just screamed because in that second I knew everything was over; it was done. I had had sex outside of marriage even though it wasn’t my fault and I was a woman, so any claim I made against him, it was going to be my fault. I was drunk.