Hey guys, my first post on this forum, so forgive any gaffes I may make.
Here's my situation - divorced 2 years, kids ages 5, 7, &9. Their dad is now a Super JW, goes to all meetings, takes them out in service. At first I didn't know how to feel about it, and to be honest, I hadn't sorted out how I felt about the religion, the universe, etc. I let him take the lead (what a good JW girl, eh?). Then I realized that I have a moral imperative to teach my children what my morals and my views are. My dad was DF'd when I was 5, and had he tried to help me be undoctrinated, life may have been different for me. I'm the only chance my kids have to be normal human beings. I don't trash my ex, and I don't bash the Society - those tactics are the type that tend to backfire. When things come up, I usually sum up what I know they're being taught (they're always amazed that I know) then say I know that Dad teaches you that, but here's what I think. Then add that the cool thing about being human is the freedom to think whatever you want - this to the older one mainly, the middle one already has her mind made up, and the youngest is a little too young. I teach my kids to always ask why and to always question things (directly opposite of Society teachings) and I'm also trying to teach critical thinking skills. Thank goodness for a college education, I've just recently gained thinking skills I'm passing on to my kids.
Example:
We went to visit old friends that are now exJW too. Turned out to be the birthday for their son, and we went to the skating rink b-day party. Later, Bek (my oldest) said that maybe she shouldn't go to birthdays because Jehovah didn't like it. I said, "Well, I know what Dad tells you about birthdays. That Jehovah doesn't like them because there are two examples in the Bible of birthdays, and they were both bad, right?" Amazed, she says yes. "Okay Bek - when we were at Keaton's birthday - did anything bad happen?" "No." "Was there anything going on that could be called wrong?" "No." "Was it wrong to have fun skating and eat pizza and cupcakes?" "No." "Was it wrong to give Keaton gifts and make him feel special? You saw how happy he was." "No, that wasn't wrong." "Well, honey, you can see that there is nothing wrong with a birthday. All a birthday is is telling someone you care about that you're glad they're around for another year, and being happy that they were born and in your life, and celebrating one day out of the year to make them feel special. It's very simple - and very fun - and it feels good, doesn't it?" Since then the birthday thing hasn't bothered any of them at all. Same with Christmas and all the other holidays. I bring out the cult teaching, then show why those things aren't wrong. Why, in fact, they are good, warm, family traditions and part of the fun of being human.