Thanks good or bad, I think this is my last post of the day as I see it said I only get 5.. interesting.
I would prefer to think of you as a bad girl if thats ok with you :)
kyle-
beaver_shots
JoinedPosts by beaver_shots
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48
Hello Im new
by beaver_shots ini didnt see an introduction topic, forgive me if this is not the forum.. my name is kyle.
i was born into a jw family in 1981. i spent my child hood not only going to every meeting but also in a home schooling program ran by some of the congregation folks with children.
extremely cut off from the world to say the least.
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48
Hello Im new
by beaver_shots ini didnt see an introduction topic, forgive me if this is not the forum.. my name is kyle.
i was born into a jw family in 1981. i spent my child hood not only going to every meeting but also in a home schooling program ran by some of the congregation folks with children.
extremely cut off from the world to say the least.
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beaver_shots
Thank you mouthy.
I respect people that belive, while I dont agree, that means nothing. I could be wrong I suppose hehe. In any case your right and I do love my mother. I know she just wants to "save me" and truth be told that is the only reason I keep putting up with her silliness to spite my love of her. My relationship with her is good atm. Though when she wont drop it I have a tendency to stop talking to her for a few weeks. Truly all would be well if she would stop making comments like this one that she spouted off the other day for no apparent reason "when you have kids some day im going to take them and teach them the truth no matter what" Im sure you can imagen what my reaction to that was like :)
kyle-
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48
Hello Im new
by beaver_shots ini didnt see an introduction topic, forgive me if this is not the forum.. my name is kyle.
i was born into a jw family in 1981. i spent my child hood not only going to every meeting but also in a home schooling program ran by some of the congregation folks with children.
extremely cut off from the world to say the least.
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beaver_shots
Always in trouble with boys eh? hows Nova Scotia this time of year? J/k
You know its funny there was a girl in my class that was a JW also and I use to see her with boys all the time and she would see me with girls. We never said so much as hi to eachother its was like an ununspoken agreement lol. after I had departed the orgi but was still liveing at home and haddnt been tottaly shunned yet. I ended up at the same party as her once and we talked a bit and ended up messing around. We never talked about it, or for that matter ever even reely talked at all after that. I would see her at school but we just sort of said "whats up" every day and left it at that. She was way cool about it. I heard she got DF'ed not long after I moved out of my parents house.
kyle-
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48
Hello Im new
by beaver_shots ini didnt see an introduction topic, forgive me if this is not the forum.. my name is kyle.
i was born into a jw family in 1981. i spent my child hood not only going to every meeting but also in a home schooling program ran by some of the congregation folks with children.
extremely cut off from the world to say the least.
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beaver_shots
yes I have to say my greatist weekness has and always will be the opposit sex. I was able to keep my dealings with "woldly" girls secret from my parents for quit a while. The Jw life teaches you to be two people with out batting an eye. Not something to be proud of. I dont think I knew one other Jw youth that didnt lead the "double life" to some extent. Even to this day I can lie to some ones face if I want to, almost with out even knowing Im doing it. Its like you belive it your self when it comes out of your mouth just for that second. Not saying Im a patho lier or any thing but its easy to manipulate others when you have been less then truthfull for most of your child/teen age life.
kyle-
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48
Hello Im new
by beaver_shots ini didnt see an introduction topic, forgive me if this is not the forum.. my name is kyle.
i was born into a jw family in 1981. i spent my child hood not only going to every meeting but also in a home schooling program ran by some of the congregation folks with children.
extremely cut off from the world to say the least.
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beaver_shots
thanks every one. Seems one of the more friendly forums I have been too.
I plan to start working with my mother a little more. The way Im comeing to see things the more I think about it is that she would probly try and help me if the tables where turned so I sort of feel I owe it to her in a way.
kyle-
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48
Hello Im new
by beaver_shots ini didnt see an introduction topic, forgive me if this is not the forum.. my name is kyle.
i was born into a jw family in 1981. i spent my child hood not only going to every meeting but also in a home schooling program ran by some of the congregation folks with children.
extremely cut off from the world to say the least.
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beaver_shots
Well I have been trying to boost my mothers self esteem for the last few months any way because she seems down. I have to admit that when she starts bringing up the "truth" as she calls it. I tend to have less and less patients with her. I have snapped at her a few times when she would not let it rest after I have repeatedly asked her to drop it. I have also received some books in the mail from her. All of witch I had seen and in fact studied intensely back when I was a slave of it. She noticed my interest in physics on a visit to my home recently as I have quite a few books on the subject. A week later I received a copy of evolution and creation or whatever the blue one is called. I thumbed though it and just as I recall no facts just a lot of conjecture. I agreed to read it again if should would read something of mine.. no deal big surprise eh? she is skilled at changing the subject when it suits her to.
kyle-
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48
Hello Im new
by beaver_shots ini didnt see an introduction topic, forgive me if this is not the forum.. my name is kyle.
i was born into a jw family in 1981. i spent my child hood not only going to every meeting but also in a home schooling program ran by some of the congregation folks with children.
extremely cut off from the world to say the least.
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beaver_shots
Thank you.
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48
Hello Im new
by beaver_shots ini didnt see an introduction topic, forgive me if this is not the forum.. my name is kyle.
i was born into a jw family in 1981. i spent my child hood not only going to every meeting but also in a home schooling program ran by some of the congregation folks with children.
extremely cut off from the world to say the least.
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beaver_shots
Yes, my choice so far has been to simply let them be. Though recently it seems my mother has been trying to re-open the topic that I thought we agreed to let die. She called me to invite me to an assembly and said "you mite learn something if you come" I replied "there is a big difference between not knowing and not believing" she cried for 10 mins. This kind of behavior is what hurts me. I can deal with her choices. Its the constant guilt trips that come my way that make it hard. Some times I feal I should just stop talking to her. We didnt speak for 3 or so years after I left home on bad terms. Any one have any luck geting devout family out of there?
kyle
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48
Hello Im new
by beaver_shots ini didnt see an introduction topic, forgive me if this is not the forum.. my name is kyle.
i was born into a jw family in 1981. i spent my child hood not only going to every meeting but also in a home schooling program ran by some of the congregation folks with children.
extremely cut off from the world to say the least.
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beaver_shots
Thanks, nice to meet you. Im not much of a forum troll. Ill probly be mostly just reading. It feels good to find people that understand. I have plenty of friends but you know some one that has not been there just cant understand. My heart gose out to every one still traped includeing my mother. Part of me wishes I could open her eyes but on the other hand I dont know if would want to take something from her that is such a big part of her life. My sister is still there too. I feel like they are lost in a dream land some where out of touch with reality.
kyle
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48
Hello Im new
by beaver_shots ini didnt see an introduction topic, forgive me if this is not the forum.. my name is kyle.
i was born into a jw family in 1981. i spent my child hood not only going to every meeting but also in a home schooling program ran by some of the congregation folks with children.
extremely cut off from the world to say the least.
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beaver_shots
Hello,
I didn’t see an introduction topic, forgive me if this is not the forum.
My name is Kyle. I was born into a JW family in 1981. I spent my child hood not only going to every meeting but also in a home schooling program ran by some of the congregation folks with children. Extremely cut off from the world to say the least. When I reached 8th grade I decided I wanted to go to public school. I felt so cut off and so alone even when I was with my approved jw friends. My devout mother would not approve of the idea of going to school with the "worldly kids" so I took my bike to the Jr.high one day and walked into the office and asked if I could attend classes. I was so scared. I explained my situation the best I could to the vice principle who seemed shocked by the whole thing. Im not sure what took place between my parents and the school but I was enrolled in class soon after.
Life in 8th grade was hard for some one with almost no social skills to speak of. I was some what charismatic but lacked any self confidence. I also had a very hard time catching up to the rest of the kids scholastically. It seems the home school our little church was running wasn’t doing much for us. I could barley wright.
I also found out at this time that I was dyslexic. After a rocky 8th grade filled with school yard fights and poor grades I returned from summer vacation and started freshman year of high school. I dont know if it was just the new hair on my balls or what but high school was much better. I made friends I met girls and started to have fun. Around this time is also when I started doing a great deal of reading out side Jw publications. I was interested in science and history. That coupled with music and some open minded friends (I never let on I was a JW to any one till almost Jr. year) made me start to question my parents religion. I had grown apathetic about it even before this but now I was taking issue with some of the teachings and I wanted some answers to the big inconsistencies. I started refusing to go to meetings now and again and felt persecuted by my mother in a huge way. Around this time I met a girl that had moved in from another congregation that I liked very much. I was experianceing Sexual frustration at its peek and was more then a little uncomfortable when the topic of sundays service was masturbation. I started going to all most all the meetings again and she spend most of her free time after the services with me. She said she wanted to go to bethel some day. She seemed smarter then that to me. I was at a cross roads and in hind site it seems so foolish to think that I was considering swallowing the lies over a teen age crush.One meeting I was particularly upset by some of the comments made during the watch tower study. I asked to speak with the elders.. any and all of them. I said it was important I had some things I needed to get off my chest. 3 older ones joined me in a back room. They seemed to me at that time like dogs ready to lap up some juicy details and deal out my punishment. I was not in the best standing at the time. The gossip machine had been working me over for a few months now. I said I had doubts and questions. They encouraged me to ask them. I did. They had no answers out side of "do some personal study and have some faith" (I had already done that for quite some time). I was shocked. I dont know why but I was. I became angry, every issue I had with the organization came out. They had no answers for me.
I never went to another meeting. I started drinking, smoking weed, eating acid, and having sex. It was great! I was about 16. I left home at 17 because that was the choice given to me by my parents. I have been living on my own ever since. Im 25 now I have my own beliefs that dont include a christian god. I dont smoke weed any more or use LSD, haven’t in about 5 years. I will have a beer once in a while. Best of all Im a happy normal person.
To be honest I hadn’t thought of the Jw time of my life much in years till recently I heard that girl I had liked had been disfellowshiped.. Good for her. Today I searched the internet and stumbled across this site. You know its about time people started speaking out and trying to save kids from a life of ignorance, dejection and low self worth.
I have been reading others topics here all day and I have to say its good to know there are so many others. Often times I feal singular in my position.
kyle-