Posts by dyone

16

Dating an Ex-JW

by dyone in

i am dating someone who recently left the jw religion.

i am not a jw, nor do i align myself with any specific religious organization.. intellectually, it was very difficult for me to accept that he could be absorbed into what i believe is one of the strongest cults of our society, but in time i realized just how easy it was to be absolved in something that you are forced into out of fear.. he's at a point right now where he is reading/researching various literature and discussing his experiences openly *such as boards as these* and i encourage such discussions.

he does not see himself ever returning to the religion and is even willing to face that he may be shunned from his own family as a result.. here is where i am "stuck".

dyone

Thanks to you all for the advice.

This is very early in the relationship, so naturally (as with any relationship) it takes time to know what the future holds for us both.

Do I love him? Yes, greatly. I think if his parents were deceased I would not struggle as much, but knowing his family is alive and well and would thoughtfully and purposely ignore a son because of religious beliefs is astounding to me.

The JW religion is a cult, and the symptoms of the cult are reflected in the obscene things already being turned up from his daughter. She actually said the other day, "Daddy, mommy said you worship Satan". How sad.

I will not intervene, supercede or persuade his daugher that her upbringing is "wrong" nor will I make snide comments in her prescense. I will have to follow the lead of my mate since he is her father and he would like to slowly introduce her to the "worldly" ideals outside of the JW world.

We both (my mate and I) have a great sense of humor...we laugh a lot. He is ready to let go of his parents after his disfellowship but of course is saddened by it. It is, however, their loss. His sister and brother-in-law are not "practicing" JW...which seems like a living oxymoron to me...it seems they don't want to admit they are not practicing out of fear of being isolated and abandoned by community and family.

All I can say is that what lucky gal I am to have two loving, open-minded and strong charactered parents who taught me to look at the world with an open heart and not a closed mind. I have seen where religion has affected so many people in positive ways...but the negative are far-outweighed.

It's a sad commentary on the state of religion itself, but as John Lennon said, "whatever gets you through the night...that's all right."

Thanks again for the advice and suggestions

16

Dating an Ex-JW

by dyone in

i am dating someone who recently left the jw religion.

i am not a jw, nor do i align myself with any specific religious organization.. intellectually, it was very difficult for me to accept that he could be absorbed into what i believe is one of the strongest cults of our society, but in time i realized just how easy it was to be absolved in something that you are forced into out of fear.. he's at a point right now where he is reading/researching various literature and discussing his experiences openly *such as boards as these* and i encourage such discussions.

he does not see himself ever returning to the religion and is even willing to face that he may be shunned from his own family as a result.. here is where i am "stuck".

dyone

I am dating someone who recently left the JW religion. I am not a JW, nor do I align myself with any specific religious organization.

Intellectually, it was very difficult for me to accept that he could be absorbed into what I believe is one of the strongest cults of our society, but in time I realized just how easy it was to be absolved in something that you are forced into out of fear.

He's at a point right now where he is reading/researching various literature and discussing his experiences openly *such as boards as these* and I encourage such discussions. He does not see himself ever returning to the religion and is even willing to face that he may be shunned from his own family as a result.

Here is where I am "stuck". I am very close to my family and I know that my parents and family will love him once they meet him and know him. However, he cannot even begin to guarantee (and I realize this is the case in most relationships) that his parent's will feel the same toward me because 1) He is divorced and 2) I am not JW. I do not know if I can be with someone whose family would merely "tolerate" my presence. Do I expect them to love and adore me? of course, but I know that's not always the case with any relationship. I just don't know what kind of future we can have where half of a family support system exists?

Another "sticking" point. He has a 5 year old daughter who is being raised JW. How do I not get excited about Halloween, Christmas, celebrate her b-day, etc. Introducing a child to another person is difficult enough let alone the fine line I will have to walk between her mother's beliefs and her father's (and mine) desire to open her mind.

A lot to absorb, I realized as I type this out...but this is what I'm facing. I love this man so much and with all my heart.....but is love truly enough to conquer these issues?

Thanks for any advice/input in advance