Posts by OnTheWayOut

16

Something I just realized!

by Nikki collins in

now that i'm out if i ever do find someone and settle down and start a family, my parents wont be a part of it.

my dad wont walk me down the isle if i get married, if i have kids they wont know their grandparents.

oh and by the way i had my freaking tubes tied so as not to have kids in this system.

A big platonic hug to you, Nikki.
I have family in the JW's, my wife and my mother and my in-law family. But I realize that my particular situation has enabled me to avoid family shunning. I have no kids that are torn between the world and the religion of my wife. So I am plenty depressed at times about what I am dealing with, but I recognize that some have it worse.

We have former JW's that don't get to see their grandchildren or whose entire family shuns them.

All I can say is that if I had to go through some or all of that kind of stuff, I would rather do that rather than quietly go back to the Kingdom Hall and live PIMO (physically IN, mentally OUT). If I did have little kids, I would get DF'ed because I would want to offer them a real life with extracurricular activities, holidays, birthdays, dating, music, fun. I wouldn't want to skirt the issues to keep peace in the family and let the kids suffer.

And in many ways, I do that for myself. I don't skirt the issues to keep peace in the family. I tell the family to avoid discussion of the religion and so will I. That's peace enough. I lost my JW friends but not the family. I got new friends who are way better now anyway. And if I had to lose the relatives, my good friends are up to taking their place.

You do need to slow down, but not stop living a regular life. You can pursue a love interest. Just know that you might need to find yourself more than find someone else. But no harm in doing both. "Road to nowhere" above said it beautifully. My half-brother is so much younger than me and we don't really know each other. I have reached out, but his family situation is really damaged by his circumstances. I don't know how it's working out, but he married a lady with kids and who was tight with her family. He embraced her family because they were what he needed. I hope he's happy. I hope you find what you need and embrace it.

45

Would You Be Afraid To Visit The Dominican Republic?

by minimus in

jw
friends

a lot of bad things are happening there lately.

people on vacation are mysteriously dying or getting violently ill. i’ve been there three times in the past.

the first time it was great!

OnTheWayOut

I was leery about visiting the Dominican Republic before any of this latest stuff happened.
So yeah!!!!

21

my story...

by Nikki collins in

many of you have asked about my story, so here it is.

it's a bit long lol.

however i still loved jeremy but because he wasn’t a witness i knew i could never be with him and have my family.

OnTheWayOut

Nikki, that is a compact story- WOW! I mean, it seems like you said your whole life in a few long paragraphs.
I hope that sharing it has helped you.

I am going to recommend that you start a healing process. Currently, some of the very best books for self-therapy (which is free except for the cost of the books) can be found in the writings of Bonnie Zieman- a former JW turned therapist.

Start here- https://www.amazon.com/EXiting-JW-Cult-Handbook-Witnesses/dp/1508477132/ref=asc_df_1508477132/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312129792228&hvpos=1o2&hvnetw=g&hvrand=8695491500288780152&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9021728&hvtargid=pla-448551095427&psc=1&tag=&ref=&adgrpid=60258872617&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=312129792228&hvpos=1o2&hvnetw=g&hvrand=8695491500288780152&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9021728&hvtargid=pla-448551095427

Beyond that, I must say you need to be careful with using real names, regardless of the fact that you are never going back.

49

The Truth about the bible

by TTWSYF in

it really is common sense, but nobody here seems to recognize or acknowledge this blatant and obvious truth.. the holy bible is the result of the catholic liturgy.

they used these scriptures in their religious practices and confirmed which books would and would not be part of their cannon.

they picked, preserved and promoted these books and gave 'the word of god' to the world.. i know that pisses off some folks, but it is the truth [not the 'truth'tm].

OnTheWayOut

Jehovah's Witnesses are Unitarians with a Protestant Bible Canon.

Take that.

23

Those that need to see a Therapist / and those that don`t is there a correlation of the two ?

by smiddy3 in

jw
friends

there have been a number of threads / posts here over the years about ex jw`s needing to see therapists for what they are going through , and i can appreciate that.. obviously there are many ex jw`s on here that haven`t ever felt the need to see a therapist ,and i`m just wondering why not ?.

why does one feel the need and another does not ?.

is it to do with born ins as against those who were converts ?

OnTheWayOut

there are many ex JW`s on here that haven`t ever felt the need to see a therapist ,and I`m just wondering why not ?

No great mystery.

This is true in life outside of JW's, this is true of life inside JW's.
And just because someone doesn't "feel the need," it doesn't mean they should not see a therapist. I work with a bunch of people that deny that their problems with life are getting to them. A bunch of people in my family deny that they have any weaknesses or problems that they would like to share with a therapist.

But even short of that, maybe some just haven't had it bad enough that they cannot find the help they need without professional help.

If Joe and Geena Publisher leave the organization together, having no living parents in the JW organization and no kids being shunned by family, they might not carry a heavy load that they cannot console each other with.

If Jenny leaves and her husband doesn't, or her mother shuns her, or her own adult children limit her contact with her grandchildren who are being raised in that cult, I think you know she might need a little help with the burden put upon her by others trying to tell her the problem is with her and not with them.

As some mentioned, some gave their all- hopes, dreams, goals, their entire way of thinking over to the Watchtower. Others may have casually been JW's, because it really wasn't for them but they were born into it. When they leave, the first group might have more reason to need counsel.

22

If You Could Tell A Prospective Jehovah’s Witness Something What Would It Be?

by minimus in

jw
friends

any words of wisdom?

?.

OnTheWayOut

"Should a prospective Mormon avoid asking former Mormons or outside sources what's wrong with becoming a Mormon, or should he just read Mormon-approved materials and trust that they have 'the truth'?"

53

Were You A Gullible JW?

by minimus in

jw
friends

i think every congregation has their group that sees everything as a sign that they are god’s chosen people.

if a witness didn’t go to a meeting and a storm came and destroyed their house and killed them, and only the kingdom hall was saved, that was a sign that we should be in jehovah’s house.

if russia persecuted jws , it’s proof we are living in the last days.

OnTheWayOut

I became a JW as an adult (with much exposure as a kid).
I needed to latch onto something in my life, so I suppose I was a bit gullible for awhile.

But a couple years into the religion, I pretty much figured out that good times and bad times and natural disasters and political changes and war and peace and changes in the doctrine- ALL INDICATED TO MANY JW's THAT THE END WAS IMMINENT!

21

Amber Scorah is on the Daily Show tonight.

by I quit! in

jw
friends

just wanted to let everyone know that ex-jw amber scorch is on the daily show on comedy central tonight.

it should very good.

OnTheWayOut

May Amber be to Watchtower what Leah Remini is to Scientology.

(Okay, a bit lofty goal- but you never know)

I ordered the book. Will read it during my trip to Tahoe Apostafest.

Her webpage says "Immersion in a foreign language and culture--and a whole new way of thinking--turned her world upside down, and eventually led her to lose all that she had been sure was true." I relate because moving to a foreign language congregation was like that for me.

17

Wedding Rings.

by Lost in the fog in

we have long queried why so-called things of pagan or religious origin like christmas or easter are banned by the wts but the use of wedding rings were not.. i was talking about this with a friend who follows a wiccan path of belief and he has sent me the following information from one of his magic magazines.. quote: .

" why do we wear our wedding ring on our ‘ring finger’ ?

thus, to properly activate the ring finger we need to wear a golden ring on it.

OnTheWayOut

Blondie, I will consider getting that as a tattoo-

jwdotorg: "As in all aspects of life, Christians should make decisions that will leave them with a clear conscience before Jehovah God."

As far as what I have to say- you all know what it is- It's a cult.
Things that allow you to associate more closely with "worldly" relatives and schoolmates and workmates- like Christmas, birthdays, Easter, etc.- must be banned. But the wedding ring marks you as married and, at least to an organization whose rules are from the early 20th century, provides a measure of protection/separation from the world.

9

Hypocrisy Magazine

by OnTheWayOut in

.

OnTheWayOut

iwantoutnow- Yup, that's their version of "never would we want to be like the Pharisees."

Atlantis- sad that they will never see it that way.

LV101, yup. Thanks for commenting.

Vidiot, I love it.