writerpen:The confusing thing is that my parents' degree of shunning changes. Sometimes it's a very hard line; other times it's not as hard core.
I experienced similar behavior myself. I think in my case it was probably because of advice given from the local body of elders in a vain attempt to coerce my return to the flock.They probably thought they would be able to come between me and my family. I was never a victim of sexual molestation or anything like that but in my case there were other things that I think there were factors that influenced my parents egregious behavior. I will disclose them someday.
Why does it appear to hurt more now? In my case it's because the pressure is off me and I have time now to reminisce about previous events. No professional therapy on my end its all just self analysis. There is an old saying about a man that felt sorry for himself because he had no shoes until he met a man who had no feet! Then he realized he didn't have it that bad after all. It's the way I try to envision things its all just a matter of perspective.