Flame,
You sense there is more than meets the eye about god questions--I sympathize.
For me and theology-- it has to be simpler than much of what I have heard in church. The knowledge about "getting saved" from misery and from being a bad person has to have a simpler, better way of getting out to us.
Death isn't the worst. But confusion, misery and pain suck.
See we don't get to pick out how death goes. And myself and most the people I live around--hey, they don't have time to fret about who god is or if he is: they have to get ON WITH IT.
Years back I saw a documentary about forest pygmies of Africa. They knew they were going to hell(yes HELL)because they killed and ate the forest elephants. But that is all they could do to live. they were caught in LIFE.
I feel like that too.Caught in life. I have to grab what I can from what I think, what i can read, from places like this and run with it.
At the end of this day, I figure god is love and love is god. If there IS a loving god he would understand how it is to be puzzled at so much suffering on the earth--and why I can't believe in Him if Christian Theism is right.
As Apog has suggested, certainty is pressed upon us. But standing in btween is a place some find themselves (Hello,Kate, Jgnat et al) --and I think it isn't the result of being DIS-honest. It is because we honestly don't KNOW any better.