Posts by Maverick2899

43

lost

by depressed in

just wondering if anyone else feels the same way.. i've been out of the organization for about 4 years, but i still love jehovah and jesus, and i want to serve them the right way.

does anyone here feel a great sense of religious confusion now that you are not attending meetings?.

at the moment, i feel miserable, since i'm going through a divorce.

I terminated the relationship after she refused to get professional help for her problem with lying to be the center of attention. Case in point the mysterious and fictional Miscarriage shortly after her sister had a child. The situation was rather complex and on certain parts of it, as far as I know, I am still believed by some to be the one who caused the problem. My solace is in my happiness being single now. I may not have a divorce recognized by the cong. As someone above also said there is a grieving process don't let the different phases you go through cause you longterm damage. To me it sounds like you are unsure of whether you would like to try and get back to the cong. or not. Just remember in the end that whatever path you choose it needs to be your choice and based on what you believe. Also since you have already been away for 4 years while it does hurt to deal with people and the way they treat you think about how important the people that are hurting you are to you. If they aren't helping you as a person, do you really want them in your life? and if you dont, Then dont enable them to hurt you anymore. I know this is easier said than done. Also I would highly recommend talking to someone a therapist or someone along those lines. It can be a huge relief just to let it all out and/or hear viewpoints from someone completely removed from the situation.

Matt

43

lost

by depressed in

just wondering if anyone else feels the same way.. i've been out of the organization for about 4 years, but i still love jehovah and jesus, and i want to serve them the right way.

does anyone here feel a great sense of religious confusion now that you are not attending meetings?.

at the moment, i feel miserable, since i'm going through a divorce.

Maverick2899

Sorry Depressed no good news on them endorsing my divorce. My exwife was a habitual liar. Details are not horribly important anymore but basically anything for attention when she felt she wasnt getting enough. Ranging from miscarriages to her having a rare kind of "cancer". I was counselled by the elders that this was my fault and that she had no reason to seek treatment.(Didnt hurt that her dad was the PO of the congregation we had moved to after getting married) When I went into the hospital from the stress and inability to be a proper head of my household, as the elders said, I finally had the time to reflect on my own about what was happening, I also talked to the psychiatrist about the issues with my wife at the time and he reassured me that she had her own psychological issues to work through. Long Story short it came down to an ultimatum that she needed to get help or I was not going to enable or allow myself to be taken advantage of any longer. She wouldn't get help so I never went back to her after leaving the hospital. The congregation I was from had several judicial committee meetings with myself and her and ended up deciding to disfellowship me. I appealed this and sent my own letter to New York along with the judicial committee's and New York did not let them disfellowship me. However in basically this my biggest time of need everyone I knew turned their back on me. The congregation was not a haven of love and support through times of hardship it was a rumor mongering judgement filled place where I was no longer welcome. Even my old hall which I moved back to after leaving my exwife offered the nice help of "We told you so" and "You were too young to get married". Honestly some of that advice had I heeded it would have helped a few years prior unfortunately I didnt take it which I do take responsibility for. However, I would not have been in such a rush to get married or baptized for reasons that are debated much in other threads I have seen on this site.

Depressed I appreciate you starting this thread I never realized how much some of these things are still bottled up inside. Remember if you made it with all the people that are working against you now just think how far you can go now that they will not be in your life holding you back or weighing you down.

Matt

43

lost

by depressed in

just wondering if anyone else feels the same way.. i've been out of the organization for about 4 years, but i still love jehovah and jesus, and i want to serve them the right way.

does anyone here feel a great sense of religious confusion now that you are not attending meetings?.

at the moment, i feel miserable, since i'm going through a divorce.

Maverick2899

Yours is probably the 3rd or 4th topic I have read through today. I just joined the site today basically because of the same feelings you are having. I was divorced 6 years ago. My own parents, my dad is an elder and PO, have shunned me since. They have taken my exwife on vacations with them and still have dinner with her on a regular basis. Before I got divorced I was in the hospital for 2 weeks for trying to kill myself because of what everyone called depression. Those 2 weeks gave me the time I needed to reflect. True friends and family that call themselves Christians don't turn their backs on you when you need the most help.

I have not gone to a meeting and am officially disassociated now. I now have no problems with depression or suicidal thoughts now that I don't have to deal with my exwife or the congregation. Interesting considering they were supposed to be a support in times of trouble.

To most people here I am glad I found this site good to know I am not the only one out there...

Matt