I couldn't agree more, Mystla, having been raised in exactly those kinds of circumstances myself. The recent thread on Narcissistic mothers was ALL about my mom! I don't think we've come to a perfect solution. We both agreed we'd much rather go our separate ways, but we also agree that for our son's sake, this is the best alternative. And while it might not work, at least it won't be quite as traumatic to our son as if we just suddenly split. You see, we've had a very amicable relationship all along. We don't scream or shout, mentally, verbally, emotionally abuse each other. There is no passive aggressive sniping. There's just a whole lot of NOTHING. We've been going our own separate ways, and now we don't have to keep up the pretense anymore of being in love. It removes an incredible amount of pressure. My husband is a good guy, he's just not the right guy for me and I'm not the right woman for him. It's a really tough call to make though, when you feel like you're sacrificing your child's happiness for your own. I felt this way: while it's not ideal, it's a hell of a lot better than what we've BEEN doing. And at least now he's going to actually take on half the financial responsibilities! (He was unemployed for two years and for the last four years has worked part-time while I've worked full-time and am currently also going to university.)
brunnhilde
JoinedPosts by brunnhilde
-
40
For the kids is it better to stay married and miserable or...?
by brunnhilde in...get a divorce and at least have a chance at happiness?
my husband and i would never have gotten married if we weren't both in the borg.
now we're both out and we have nothing in common.
-
-
-
40
For the kids is it better to stay married and miserable or...?
by brunnhilde in...get a divorce and at least have a chance at happiness?
my husband and i would never have gotten married if we weren't both in the borg.
now we're both out and we have nothing in common.
-
-
brunnhilde
Thanks so much for all the support and advice. I couldn't believe it tonight when after our son went to sleep, my husband told me he didn't want a divorce but we were both miserable and what could we do? I don't know if this will be helpful to anyone else, but we decided to basically live as roommates. It sounds so simplistic, but we were both so relieved. We're going to work out the finer details, but we're agreed that our biggest priority is Skyler and his well-being. For his sake we're going to make it work. We both feel SO much better. I feel really bad for those of you with spouses still in the Borg. I don't know how that works. I'm just feeling a little giddy with relief at the moment so I don't know how much sense this makes!
-
40
For the kids is it better to stay married and miserable or...?
by brunnhilde in...get a divorce and at least have a chance at happiness?
my husband and i would never have gotten married if we weren't both in the borg.
now we're both out and we have nothing in common.
-
-
brunnhilde
...get a divorce and at least have a chance at happiness? My husband and I would NEVER have gotten married if we weren't both in the Borg. Now we're both out and we have nothing in common. We have a seven year old. I get nothing out of this marriage (yes, we've tried counseling) that I need but I don't want to cause lasting damage to my son. I really don't know what to do *sigh* Any ideas? And please, any lurking Dubs, please spare me the WT BS, ok?
-
58
Defending WT changing Doctrines
by stillajwexelder inok - dont shout at me -but i know that archaeologists will change a theory based on a new find.
so will historains.
so will scientists.
-
-
brunnhilde
"So what is so wrong with the WTS doing some research and changing a doctrine.? It is the same in other disciplines." How often have the other disciplines asked someone to die on principle, and then changed their minds arbitrarily (without added information or evidence) that made that death unnecessary?
-
-
-
brunnhilde
OMG!!!! *HOOT* ROFLMAO!!!! Wouldn't you just love to have that blown up into a poster and stand up with it in the middle of that humiliating section from the KM every January on "convention etiquette"!!!!!!!!!! That is FREAKING hilarious!!!
-
48
Update- My fade and the elders inaction
by OnTheWayOut inhere's the story in a nutshell.
i stepped aside as elder in a foreign language congregation with a resignation letter in august.. i cited doubts in doctrine concerning "this generation" and 1975, and also said i don't "know".
the governing body well enough to teach their doctrine.
-
-
brunnhilde
My last meeting was last years Memorial. I haven't spoken to the elders, reported time or anything else to do with the Borg since then. My husband was an elder and he stepped aside and then followed me out within three months. Other than my mother and father freaking out, we've had maybe a total of MAYBE ten phonecalls and no visits to the house. I've been very pleasantly surprised *WEG*
-
8
Sad news
by DJK inyou might have heard it already.
with all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is.
worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went.
-
-
brunnhilde
ROFLMAO!!!!! Thanks! I needed to smile!
-
44
I dropped the BOMB, but it missed???????!!!!!!!
by Schism inhello my dearest friends.
so sorry that i have not been online much.
i have been quite busy lately!.
-
-
brunnhilde
OK, your letter was great, though I agree with everyone's comments that you can't make people hear what they don't want to. I have to say your responses to your mom's email were hysterical and dead on! I want my fish to worship me! How come my fish don't worship me!!!! Maybe I need to get some Governing Body fish *muses*
-
45
Gimme your Best Shot.
by Frannie Banannie ini've been re-thinking about what to say when jw's come knockin'.
i've thought about what the scriptures say about jesus' words to the pharisees and think perhaps i might say, "i don't have any interest in the doctrines and writings of the scribes and pharisees of the wts.".
or maybe i could just say, "yall're just wts nazis and you look down on everyone else as if they were jews during wwii, so i'd prefer not to converse with you.".
-
-
brunnhilde
ROFLMAO SilverNyte!!!!
-
17
DF'd for Son's Bday??
by brunnhilde inwe're having my seven-year-olds first birthday party at the local chuck e. cheese (yeah, i know but it's what he wanted).
i don't especially care, but if a dub sees us and reports us (as you know they would), can be we be df'd?
like i said, i don't particularly care, and wouldn't be sorry either.
-
-
brunnhilde
Thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes! He's SO excited. We've kind of celebrated since Wednesday and tomorrow is the big party. Lots of kids, lots of noise and lots of fun! I'm glad we got out in time for him to do these things while he's still little *grin*