slmdf

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Posts by slmdf

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  89

  How I handled Child Abuse cases when I was an Elder (1996-2006)

  by slmdf in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  hey ya'll.

  i know there is a lot of buzz due to the nbc story.

  i thought i'd share my experience as an elder dealing with abuse.. i attended 23 different congregations in my life and served as an elder or ms in 9 of them.

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  slmdf

  Ya'll are right on.

  And, as Flipper said... RIGHT ON, MARY!!!
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  89

  How I handled Child Abuse cases when I was an Elder (1996-2006)

  by slmdf in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  hey ya'll.

  i know there is a lot of buzz due to the nbc story.

  i thought i'd share my experience as an elder dealing with abuse.. i attended 23 different congregations in my life and served as an elder or ms in 9 of them.

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  slmdf

  Hey everyone! It's been a while since I posted, so I'm catching up:

  Monophonic: Thanks for the note. I don't have any documentation on my experiences. I turned everything in when I left. I wanted nothing more to do with it and wasn't at the point where I would have thought I might want to use it some day. However, see my response to Gumby, below.

  Big D: Thanks so much!

  SWalker: the other elders on these cases were like most elders - drones. Most elders I worked with simply did what they were told by "mother" and didn't think anything else of it. If they did what "mother" said, they felt they did their job. As mentioned early in this thread. I sincerely believe none of them wished any harm on the little ones, but at the same time, they didn't think enough for themselves to determine what would be in their best interests to protect them. Elders do what they're told (usually).

  Gumby: Yes, elders would tell the families not to talk about it to others. They would use "gossip" scriptures, etc. as backup. Those instructions, as far as I can recall are not in any letter or publication. They base it on the principle(s) of: not gossiping, allowing the elders to handle it; waiting on Jehovah. Bah humbug. Also, ANY elder who has dealth with child abuse cases in the recent years should be able to verify exactly the instructions from legal I've shared here. It might be "watchtowerized" a bit, but the basics will be the same. I have no doubt. But, I doubt they'd talk to you or anyone about it. It's like 5-star General level top-secret stuff in elder's minds.

  BluesBro: Thanks!!!! I appreciate it.
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  37

  Where are the ex-bethelites?

  by betty boop in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi everyone, its betty .

  i was just wondering if theyre are any bethelites who were in brooklyn in the late 90's-2003?

  i knew a lot of guys there when i was still in the borg.

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  slmdf

  Hi!

  Brooklyn 1991 - 1994
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  89

  How I handled Child Abuse cases when I was an Elder (1996-2006)

  by slmdf in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  hey ya'll.

  i know there is a lot of buzz due to the nbc story.

  i thought i'd share my experience as an elder dealing with abuse.. i attended 23 different congregations in my life and served as an elder or ms in 9 of them.

  1. 
  2. 
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  slmdf

  lolipop, we're honored that this thread motivated you to post. Thank you. You're right. This needs to get out. The children need help.
• 
  89

  How I handled Child Abuse cases when I was an Elder (1996-2006)

  by slmdf in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  hey ya'll.

  i know there is a lot of buzz due to the nbc story.

  i thought i'd share my experience as an elder dealing with abuse.. i attended 23 different congregations in my life and served as an elder or ms in 9 of them.

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  slmdf

  Farkel - You make some astute observations. I felt the same thing from their statement. Why is it only about lawsuits? What about allegations? My guess is the sexually repressed JW elders do MORE than other organizations. (That's probably unfair of me to say without any data to back it up) But, as you say... the experiences I have are just from little ol' me. There are no doubt thousands of others that have been victimized and have no voice. So sad.
• 
  89

  How I handled Child Abuse cases when I was an Elder (1996-2006)

  by slmdf in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  hey ya'll.

  i know there is a lot of buzz due to the nbc story.

  i thought i'd share my experience as an elder dealing with abuse.. i attended 23 different congregations in my life and served as an elder or ms in 9 of them.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  slmdf

  Right on!
• 
  89

  How I handled Child Abuse cases when I was an Elder (1996-2006)

  by slmdf in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  hey ya'll.

  i know there is a lot of buzz due to the nbc story.

  i thought i'd share my experience as an elder dealing with abuse.. i attended 23 different congregations in my life and served as an elder or ms in 9 of them.

  1. 
  2. 
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  slmdf

  Wednesday - clearly I didn't do the only thing I could. I did the only thing I was told I could. It's all about control and the Organization was the one in control. Should I have done more? Absolutely. Do I wish I could change it? Yes.

  The best thing I (or we) can do now is try to inform others. That's why I'm here. I certainly don't expect your praise. My past actions don't deserve such. Nor do my current actions. Only respect, for finally thinking for myself and finding it important enough to articulate the self-disillusionment I feel for how I allowed myself to become so controlled. Never again.
• 
  89

  How I handled Child Abuse cases when I was an Elder (1996-2006)

  by slmdf in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  hey ya'll.

  i know there is a lot of buzz due to the nbc story.

  i thought i'd share my experience as an elder dealing with abuse.. i attended 23 different congregations in my life and served as an elder or ms in 9 of them.

  1. 
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  slmdf

  Drew -

  Thanks for posting.

  So if the Elders get busted for never contacting the authorities how do you prove that you actually did tell them? Or is the WTS just setting you up to take the fall in order to protect "Jehovah's name"?
  
  Or was your situation one in which you where not required?

  I don't know if an elder could ever prove he called, really. Although he would always do so with another elder present. So it would meet the JW 2-witness rule. LOL. I think the legal department has thought this through thoroughly to minimize risk to the "organization" and I bet if elders got caught in something, the society would back away and tell them they handled it wrong.

  All the situations I dealt with were in "reportable" states, so I always called.

  MCS - I couldn't agree more.
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  9

  Understanding apostacy....I just dont feel like one

  by oompa in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  so when an elder friend informed me they were concerned my thinking may be headed towards apostacy, i reminded him i had never said anything bad against the society, sure had no teachings of my own, nor wanted any followers, just answers.

  also reminded him that all my research was wt material based, and the problems/contridictions i had found were troubling for that very reason.

  he agreed that i had stayed on pretty safe ground.. but when i looked into it a bit more, it could easily go either way.

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  slmdf

  I know, right? Truth is truth, isn't it? It's funnier the more you think about it. LOL
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  89

  How I handled Child Abuse cases when I was an Elder (1996-2006)

  by slmdf in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  hey ya'll.

  i know there is a lot of buzz due to the nbc story.

  i thought i'd share my experience as an elder dealing with abuse.. i attended 23 different congregations in my life and served as an elder or ms in 9 of them.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  slmdf

  Nathan -

  Thanks for the thought provoking link. You provide a very interesting line of thought. Intriguing, really.

  Are the typically "good natured" rank and file of the JW organization (and some elders/others) tarnished, stained or indirectly blemished simply by association with the organization that hides pedophiles?? According to the Milgram experiment you referred us to, it is freakish how many people willingly go beyond thier comfort level in harming another because an authority tells them to do so. I believe this is core to what's happening in the JW organization.

  The major issue, IMHO is that individuals do not develop their own 'constitution', if you will, or thier own set of values. This seems to be a fundamental breakdown in society in general. Studies show that most people want to be followers, not leaders. So, most people will do what they're told. They prefer it that way. Unfortunately, this causes corruption in power that harms the populous. Why? Because people stop thinking for themselves. They blindly follow because that's the easy thing to do. Human behavior studies show that the majority of humans will almost always take the path of least resistance. Same is true here. It's easy to be a JW cause you don't have to think about anything! You just do what you're told, believe what you're told, etc. Simple. And, once you become a JW, it is clearly demonstrated if you get out of line, or buck the system in any way, what the consequences will be. That path is so incredibly painful and terrorizing, the path of least resistance is just to 'get back in line'. That's why more rank & file don't say anything.

  With those thoughts in mind, back to the original question, "Are the typically "good natured" rank and file of the JW organization (and some elders/others) tarnished, stained or indirectly blemished simply by association with the organization that hides pedophiles??" I honestly don't know how to answer that. YES in the reasoning that JW's themselves use about 'association'. If you're associated with Babylon the Great, you're cooked. Well, they're associated with the organization that does this stuff... are they cooked? Or is the answer NO because it's like.... ENRON. Were the employees at ENRON to blame or guilty by association because they worked there? No - they didn't know they may have been indirectly allowing their 'leaders' to steal. Hell - every day they worked they were putting money in the boss' pocket! I think the fundamental problem, and hence responsibility/accountability, is with the JW Headquarters (especially GB) who have created this controlling organization where people literally fear for their lives and their families if they choose not to believe something. It's crazy, I tell ya. Crazy.

  It's one of the reasons I respect all of you so much. You have demonstrated that you will no just go with the flow of least resistance. Many of us have lost quite a bit (via DF'ing, etc.) but we carry on and we're much better because of it. We have decided not to sit back and be thought for.... we think for ourselves. We all have a responsibility now to ensure that we NEVER allow ourselves to be led like a lamb to the slaughter, mentally speaking. We HAVE to challenge things we're told. We've broken free from such a warped organization - we must be careful not to become prey to another one.

  This study was so thought provoking for me. I asked myself what I would have done. And, I believe I would answer two ways. First, if I was still a JW, I would have gone with the flow and did the experiment. Second, today if I were asked to do it I believe I would have challenged it. (At least that's what I believe I would do.... I HOPE I would.)

  PEOPLE... it's wonderful to listen to our conscience or 'gut'. When it comes to treating other humans - especially the children - let's not forget that we all need to use our sense of 'conscience' and do the right thing - no matter what anyone in authority tells us. That's the lesson I get from the Milgram experiment. Thanks for posting it.