veronica_mars

Joined

• started 6 topics
• posted 30 times   see topics posted on
• send a message

Posts by veronica_mars

• 
  40

  Back again, after all these years...

  by veronica_mars in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  wow.

  wow.

  i used to post here lifetimes ago, and i just recently came back and read some of my old posts.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  veronica_mars

  Sorry for the other thread... I am still trying to get familiar with this site and how it works...

  I didn't know how to find this thread, then I clicked on my name. Duh!
• 
  26

  Are you comfortable knowing, that what you write here will stay forever

  by JH in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  let it be this board or any other board, are you comfortable with the fact that whatever you post on the internet will be viewable for a long time.. maybe when you'll be very old, you'll find posts that you made a very long time ago..

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  veronica_mars

  Funny...

  I found a bunch of my posts here from 5 years ago... by Googling my username (I used it for a lot of different things...) and I re-found this place.

  Which was really cool, and really needed.

  So, yeah, I think it's cool and I am glad that what I post on the internet will be around... for me to read later... It's like a diary...
• 
  40

  Back again, after all these years...

  by veronica_mars in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  wow.

  wow.

  i used to post here lifetimes ago, and i just recently came back and read some of my old posts.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  veronica_mars

  Thanks you guys...

  I need to get more familiar with all of you guys...

  Is there still a chat room? I could swear I remember there was a chat room... where we all would talk...

  Anyways, my mom asked me to go to the "special talk" next week, and I said yes... we kinda traded: me going to the meeting next week, for her help on painting my place today... Totally worth the trade! (right now... I'll let ya know if it was worth it AFTER the meeting...)
• 
  36

  Anybody attended the Memorial last night? What was your experience?

  by Cindi_67 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  for the first time in a year i set foot on a kh.

  the memorial to me is still somewhat sacred so i decided to attend.

  i thought i would feel different, in the sense that maybe i would miss meetings, but i was wrong.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  veronica_mars

  I went... for my parents sake.

  I cried the entire time. It was very hard for me to be there.

  I felt like everyone was judging me, plus I was just so sad over my life.

  That, mixed with the fact that I was wearing the same dress as this "sister" I despise, was just too much for me...
• 
  40

  Back again, after all these years...

  by veronica_mars in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  wow.

  wow.

  i used to post here lifetimes ago, and i just recently came back and read some of my old posts.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  veronica_mars

  Hello All...

  Just wanted to give you all an update...

  I did move out last weekend.

  It's been tough, but I found a place I could afford, close to work- however it's two doors down from a Kingdom Hall... how ironic.

  I did go to the memorial with my folks... that was hard.

  So, far everyone has been really nice and great to me- they are trying to be a "good witness"... so sad, they are too late...

  Anyways, I will try and come on here more. I am sure I am going to need it... Especially when the loneliness finally hits me...
• 
  40

  Back again, after all these years...

  by veronica_mars in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  wow.

  wow.

  i used to post here lifetimes ago, and i just recently came back and read some of my old posts.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  veronica_mars

  Update:

  Well, I missed the meeting tonight. Got a phone call from my mother, letting me know I now have until this weekend to be out.

  Life can't get any better than this.

  Makes me want to become a Jehovah's Witness all the more... NOT.
• 
  40

  Back again, after all these years...

  by veronica_mars in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  wow.

  wow.

  i used to post here lifetimes ago, and i just recently came back and read some of my old posts.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  veronica_mars

  So. I did it.

  At the meeting today I cracked. The Watchtower study was about Husbands, and I couldn't take it. I got up and left. I sat in the Kingdom Hall parking lot and sobbed.

  Then my mom came out to check on me, and I broke down, and told her how much I hated FAKING being a witness. I told her I don't have any desire to be one. And then she told me that she loved me, but was disappointed. How I have to move out so I don't "affect" my siblings. So, I have to move out by May 1st.

  Then, when my dad found out... that's when it all hit the fan. They called me Satan, everyone cried. I felt like CRAP!

  Now, I am here at Starbucks, not wanting to go home. I feel like a loser, and pathetic.

  I don't understand how they (JW's) feel like they can push their beliefs down your throat... but when you try and tell them that you don't agree, they refuse to hear it!

  /sighs

  What to do... What to do...????
• 
  40

  Back again, after all these years...

  by veronica_mars in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  wow.

  wow.

  i used to post here lifetimes ago, and i just recently came back and read some of my old posts.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  veronica_mars

  Wow, so everyone is as nice and friendly as I remembered it!

  I used to love being in the chat... I spent many nights here telling my story and getting it off my chest.

  Not just til recently, with all this new garbage I am dealing with did I think about how great this place is. I spend alot of time on another forum (related to TiVo... haha) and they all "know" me so well, but none of my friends there can understand what I am going through. The call it "discombobulated" not "disfellowshipped", things like that.

  I am currently living with my parents again, after the last 5 years of being on my own. They are both active members of the congregation, as are all my siblings and their spouses. Nobody can understand how I can't move past this thing that happened to me when I was 16... and somehow it happened again.

  With my husband, he was a JW... born and raised, his dad was not. But, he became abusive (physically and mentally) and after going to the elders NUMBERS of times (where they told me I was the problem- not being submissive and I was being disrespectful to him by SLANDERING him... somehow the fact that he HIT me was never the issue...) we spilt. Then, after being bullied ONCE again by the elders, I went back with him. But it was WORSE. I stopped going to meetings, as most people there looked down on me.

  Then, after finding out he cheated on me with an elder's daughter, I told him it was over. He raped me that night.

  I left him then, and never look back. Now the elders say he is the "victim" and I "abandonded him" blah, blah, blah.

  In a way, I want to "cheat" on him, so they have a reason to DF me and I don't have to look back. It's just hard, with my family and all.... I want to kinda "fade out"... if any of you know what that means....

  Well, that's my story. I am a really open and honest person. Glad to be here where I think I can be understood...

  TTYL

  Katie
• 
  40

  Back again, after all these years...

  by veronica_mars in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  wow.

  wow.

  i used to post here lifetimes ago, and i just recently came back and read some of my old posts.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  veronica_mars

  I won't let the elders intimidate me!

  HAHA- it's so weird to be posting here, in a good way.

  I need to catch back up! Does anyone remember Naublis? Or shari?
• 
  40

  Back again, after all these years...

  by veronica_mars in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  wow.

  wow.

  i used to post here lifetimes ago, and i just recently came back and read some of my old posts.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  veronica_mars

  Wow. Wow. Wow.

  Hello all.

  I used to post here LIFETIMES ago, and I just recently came back and read some of my old posts. Very interesting!

  I am Katie, I used to post as airwlk149... (I couldn't remember my old password or email used...)

  It's funny the curves life throws us, and sometimes how we make a full circle.

  I am now 23, I just moved back home to live with my parents after being in an AWFUL witness marriage. Looking back, I can't believe I was ever that young girl. I know I am speaking very vaguely, but if you were to know me then, and know me now- it's amazing the difference. And, yet, how I am so the same.

  I am not disfellowshipped. I have not been since I was at 16 and reinstated at 17. But, currently I am "reproved" and not "scriptually free" to re-marry, though my soon to be ex cheated on me, the elders need more proof than they have (they have enough, they just are being jerks...) I do not call myself a JW. There is so much hurt, anger and pain related to it.

  Well, enough of this babbling. If any of you remember me from 5 years ago, let me know. I am going to start posting here more.

  Oh, and if you have ever been wrongly DF'd, and have hurt and pain related to it, listen to that song, "Not ready to make nice" by the Dixie Chicks. That's my song to the elders.