Posts by SnakesInTheTower

161

FlyingHighNow Needs Our Love & Support

by snowbird in

jw
friends

her son, jesse, is in serious condition.. my son is in surgery and may lose his hand and arm.. jesse got an infection in a cut on his finger.

his finger and hand swelled to the size of an arm .. .

they have to do surgery on his hand and arm.

OMG I just joined Facebook.

by AK - Jeff in

jw
friends

i kept getting invited, but have no idea what to do over there.. another barrier broken.. jeff.

SnakesInTheTower

I have a farm on Farm Town (the less fancy, earlier game)...but only have trees and plowed fields...no time to mess with it now.

I was able to connect with a good (nonJW) friend from HS from 25 years ago through Facebook...we were on the same network. Since he missed our 25 year reunion last month, it was great to have FB to reconnect.

But yes, it can be time consuming...and I have my security settings to allow only "friends" and "Friends of friends" (meaning, if you have one of the JWDers on your list that is also on my list, you can click through to my page)...or only those I invite specifically....

I don't spend much time updating FB....but it is there..

Snakes (Rich )

30

can you really ever fade with immediate family still in?

by oompa in

jw
friends

i am beginning to think not....elders still want to call on me rather than befriend me in any way.....and with a "good" wife and son and parents in, it seems like i still have one foot in only because of the overlap with my other "free" self........it is hard to really feel free in this situation, and is still have desire to just run the fluck away.....which would mean pretty much giving up my family in nearly every respect.

some here really miss their family and wife, others so love the freedom they seem able to move on and start fresh....as you know, i dont seem to have the balls for that, and at this point in my life the price seems to high to fully start over........it is the "one in one out limbo dance"......oompa.

SnakesInTheTower

oompa...

good morning to you

We often make sacrifices for the ones we love. I didn't used to truly understand that until now. As a single guy, I had the freedom to do what I wanted, when I wanted, without worrying about a wife or kid. My only limitations on my time, once I left the Borg, were related to work and getting things I had to get done, done (ie, housework, yardwork, etc.). Now, I have a fiancee and soon to be step-son living in my our house. Since my fiancee has to be at work earlier than me, I take her son to school most mornings........otherwise he has to get up with her an hour or 2 earlier and go to grandparents' and catch the bus. Why put him (or his g'parents) through that? He gets to sleep in until 7 (instead of 530), hangs out with me for 40 minutes, watches a little TV, helps me with a couple little chores, and off he goes to school. Now I am up and ready to get chores around the house done (which is a lot with all the moving and rearranging). Meaning I have to get up earlier...I get up and have coffee with her....then have an hour of quiet time...then get her son up for school.....Yep, I am not used to being up early, I am a night owl. But the sacrifice is worth it to me.

Oompa, my point in telling that little story is that you are making sacrifices....sacrificing some of your freedom (to do anything you want) to keep your wife and son and parents in your life. If you love them and want to keep them around, it may be the necessary evil not telling WTBTS to fluck off. If you walked away from WTBTS completely, you know you risk losing them to the cult.

What a $hitty choice to be forced to make. I feel for you. Hang in there. Maybe your loved ones willl wake up. When (hopefully not if) they do, they will truly appreciate the sacrifices you made for them.

Snakes (Rich )

19

Tonight I hid in the pet food section at the grocery store

by JerkhovahsWitless in

jw
friends

i went to the grocery store tonight to get some supplies for the small party (with a few jw friends) i'm having this weekend.

while trying to find the aisle with the canned vegetables, i spot them, at the back of the store in dairy... the ancient and insane jw husband and wife duo that goes to my congregation.

it was minutes until 9pm, what were they still doing awake, and out shopping at that?

SnakesInTheTower

the long rows in grocery stores are called "aisle." "Isles" are small islands in the ocean. Sorry, drives me nuts. LOL

to your story...while humorous, it is sad. believe me, I have done the "looking over the shoulder" thing. I have even avoided JWs to avoid a conversation...but never to that extent. Reading your snippet reminds me of a marionette...being tugged on by hidden strings.

even now, I have to watch that I am not being tugged in different ways. Believe me, when I do, my fiancee is there to remind me to stop and enjoy life and not worry about the buggers.

Snakes (Rich )

48

Poll: Who Left Whilst Still Believing?

by brinjen in

this is for an upcoming youtube project.

i would love to do this on a mass scale... think there might be something "big" in the results.. 1. were you a born-in (including those who's parents converted while they were still children) or did you convert as an adult?.

2. when you left, did you still (a) fully believe in the truthtm, (b) partially believe or (c) realise it was all a load of crap?.

SnakesInTheTower

1. Were you a born-in (including those who's parents converted while they were still children) or did you convert as an adult?

Mom baptized when I was around 4. I, too, remember seeing pics of a single x-mas and/or birthday. (I am sooooo looking forward to celebrating it this year). Foolishly, I was dunked at 16.

2. When you left, did you still (a) fully believe in the truth TM , (b) partially believe or (c) realise it was all a load of crap?

(c) I knew it was BS....and had inklings that it was BS prior to the 1995 Generation™ change due to my outside research on Bible chronology..... when I left I didn't know if there was supposed to be anything else. Probably why I stayed another 10+ years...on the Theocratic Treadmill.....

3. Now, do you still (a) fully believe in the truth TM , (b) partially believe or (c) realise it is all a load of crap?

(c) Still know that the WTBTS/JW/GB is/are full of crap.

4. When you left, how afraid where you of armageddon TM ?

Armageddon™ I do not think had any real effect on me, either when I was in or out. I think I always knew that the Big A story had holes. However, I was saddened that I would not see my dad in a fantasy Resurrection™ in a Paradise Earth™. I had to regrieve all over again.

5. Do you class yourself now as (a) christian (b) agnostic (c) atheist or (d) other (please state).

(d) completely uninterested in religion. figure there is some sort of Intelligent Designer out there...or its kid is running amok in the universe making science projects and getting bored with us. try to respect the planet and leave it as I found it when I got here.

SnakesInTheTower (aka Rich, of the "finally free of the cult" Sheep Class)

32

Give Your Advice To Anyone Planning To Fade

by minimus in

jw
friends

list some thoughts and suggestions for anyone thinking about fading from the organization..

SnakesInTheTower

I wrote this synopsis about my fade on Cognac's thread about switching halls before I seen this thread..

when I switched KHs to start my fade, I changed congos, circuits, and states. All while living right where I am still at now. I drove to this new KH about 15 miles away. Once the BOE in the new congo got the letter from my old congo BOE stating I had been deleted (rather than resigned for personal reasons as they originally had wanted) as an elder, the elders lost interest in me rather quickly. See, I was no good to them for 3 years..and then only as an MS for a brief time... they needed elders now....

I was never assigned to a book study group, it was difficult to get Kingdumb Miseries, I never signed up for the Theocratic Misery School...basically, I was a white guy (one of less than a dozen whites) in a black congo...and it was a large congo (over 140 regular publishers)...so I got lost in the shuffle very quickly..... never attended book study....never went in service there..... turned in phantom time for 8 months....quit going to the Thur night meeting...then started either missing Sunday or leaving after the talk. Then the DC came (I didn't go), and then the KH went through a 6 week remodel (gut job)...I never attended the alternative location....came back for one last meeting when they returned...knowing that was my last meeting.

Key to my fade was getting out of the social circle I was in. My fade will bust wide open this weekend.... my fiancee and her son begin moving in tomorrow. 2 years fade.... I accomplished what I needed.

Because I was so high profile locally (elder, pioneer, MTS grad), it was more difficult to drop from the radar in the congo I was in for the previous 4 years. I plotted very carefully how I faded. Thus the switch. Had I stayed in that first congo, I guarantee the elder who worked his ass off for 4+ years to get me deleted would have worked harder to get me DF.

I have thought about DA'ing...but that is subscribing to their game...a game I no longer participate in. When I tell my full story on this board, it will be with my full name and location.... it is taking a while to get it just right. Meanwhile, I have a great new life with a great fiancee and a great soon to be stepson.

My way of fading worked for me, but it may not work for you. (*)

SnakesInOutOfTheTower (Rich, of the "no longer lurking in the shadows of the Tower™" Sheep Class)

(*) Read directions carefully before fading. Results may vary. Do not take with alcohol. Taking alcohol during a fade may lead to fun times. Hell, why not take alcohol, screw it. Fading may cause sleeplessness, sleepiness, diarreah, constipation, upset stomach, shortness of breath, restless leg syndrome, heart palpitations, elder visits, shakes, rattles, rolls, ulcers, judicial committees, PMS, incontinence, impotence, ED, seizures, hair loss, hair growth, nose hair growth, nosy witness syndrome, and other unexplainable symptoms requiring a sudden end to the fade. May also lead to freedom to think, celebration of really cool pagan holidays, regaining lost "worldly" friends and family, ability to pursue higher education leading to college degrees leading to good paying jobs, promotions at work, social status, real retirement plans, finding someone that loves you for you not because you are tied to congregation status and other benefits.

18

We are switching halls...

by cognac in

jw
friends

i think that means that we are going to go to even less meetings and just generally have less to do with the jws because the hall we are at now is where all his friends are... unless somebody tries to take him under his wing and screws everything up.... btw, this was his idea.

thoughts?.

SnakesInTheTower

cognac...switching KHs is a good idea. being involved as little as possible (without completely dropping out of sight) is a balancing act.

when I switched KHs to start my fade, I changed congos, circuits, and states. All while living right where I am still at now. I drove to this new KH about 15 miles away. Once the BOE in the new congo got the letter from my old congo BOE stating I had been deleted (rather than resigned for personal reasons as they originally had wanted) as an elder, the elders lost interest in me rather quickly. See, I was no good to them for 3 years..and then only as an MS for a brief time... they needed elders now....

I was never assigned to a book study group, it was difficult to get Kingdumb Miseries, I never signed up for the Theocratic Misery School...basically, I was a white guy (one of less than a dozen whites) in a black congo...and it was a large congo (over 140 regular publishers)...so I got lost in the shuffle very quickly..... never attended book study....never went in service there..... turned in phantom time for 8 months....quit going to the Thur night meeting...then started either missing Sunday or leaving after the talk. Then the DC came (I didn't go), and then the KH went through a 6 week remodel (gut job)...I never attended the alternative location....came back for one last meeting when they returned...knowing that was my last meeting.

Key to my fade was getting out of the social circle I was in. My fade will bust wide open this weekend.... my fiancee and her son begin moving in tomorrow. 2 years fade.... I accomplished what I needed.

I wish you and hubby well in your fade

Snakes (Rich, of the "no longer lurking in the shadows" Sheep Class)

36

Why is it that JWs can toss around insults like "Worldly" when talking about non-JWs? (Fiancee got offended).

by SnakesInTheTower in

jw
friends

so yesterday i get this telephone call from a jw sister.

let's call her sister naive.

i knew sister naive when she was a teenager, knew her ex-husband when he and i were growing up in the congo.

SnakesInTheTower

purps:

Hit IGNORE!

scully:

Why not just subscribe to Call Control or Call Block and put her number in?

on both counts, if I would have recognized her cell number, I wouldhave hit IGNORE (which I have on my cell)...since actually ignoring her voice mail did not work. sigh.....

Because I have customers for my job calling me and I often get phone numbers I do not recognize, I do not have the luxury of ignoring all the calls, especially on days I work. I thought about programming Sister Naive's name/number in my cell directory so it would pop her name instead of just a number, but I cleared out almost all of the JW phone numbers from my directory.

Instead, I think I shall finish growing myself a spine and express it more succinctly if she calls back: "On the last phone call, you called my fiancee 'worldly'...that is offensive....do not call here again." ...and hang up. How's that?

Snakes (Rich )

36

Why is it that JWs can toss around insults like "Worldly" when talking about non-JWs? (Fiancee got offended).

by SnakesInTheTower in

jw
friends

so yesterday i get this telephone call from a jw sister.

let's call her sister naive.

i knew sister naive when she was a teenager, knew her ex-husband when he and i were growing up in the congo.

SnakesInTheTower

OUTLAW:

Toni is`nt going to put up with another woman..Encouraging you not to marry Toni.. LOL!!.. Your going to have to get rid of your Bevy of Beauties and concentrate on Toni..

yeah, Toni mentioned that about how do you think I feel about her discouraging you from marrying me?.... So I already heard it and understood it.

Problem here is.... I don't have a "Bevy of Beauties." (Ironically, when I was an elder, blah blah, etc, some jealous brothers called them my "Harem."....and I certainly wasn't getting any action. LOL)

Seriously, I did not initiate the call. I did not encourage it. I had hoped by ignoring Sister Naive's voice mail she would get the message. Guess not. Hopefully she gets it now. Any further calls from her will result in my being more blunt and less polite.

Snakes (Rich )

34

If Shunning Didn't Exist, Would JW's Exist In Their Current Form?

by AllTimeJeff in

in my opinion, this is the crux of the matter where ex jw's are concerned.. so many religions have disagreements with their members.

but you can disagree, research, question, and leave if that is your wish.

you may receive some sanction depending on the religion, but no shunning is required in the major faith's and religions of christendom.

SnakesInTheTower

I could not care less if the WTBTS DF's me. I am working on my story for posting now. In it will be plenty of identifying information about who I am. If they want to DF me, let them. It is their game not mine.

95% of my friends (aka "social contacts") in my life until about 4-5 years ago were JWs. About 3 years ago I started building real friends (as opposed to social contacts in the JWs) outside of the Organization because, long-term, I knew I was not hanging around the cult. It can be extremely difficult to leave such a large group of social contacts and have nothing to go to. I have been very fortunate to have met individuals from this forum and just in my regular life that I consider friends. It is what has gotten me to the point in my life that I could open up and actually have a relationship.

My fiancee does not quite understand the grip that a cult, be it JWs or other, has on its members and former members. She says "what can they possibly do to you?" It is a good question. Me personally? Not much. My JW-friends are all but gone and will disappear like cockroaches when the lights are turned on if/when I am DF. My JW mom says she will not shun me, but that is easy to say when she lives 690 miles away. I wonder how she would do if I were DF and she lived nearby? Already my mom calls me less and less. When I call her, we have less and less to talk about. Although I always listen respectfully to the goings-on in her life (which involve mostly meetings, field service, bible studies, and assemblies), she knows I only listen because it is coming from her. Otherwise, I could not care less about the Watchtower Society, Jehovah's Witnesses, et al.

So I have nothing to lose by leaving the Witnesses, or by being DF'd. What I do have to lose is the love of my life if I let JWs affect me. I have taken a stand. I will never go back. The Society has no grip on me because I have nothing to lose by staying away from the cult and everything to lose if I go back. However, there are a lot of others who the Society does have a grip on because they have so much extended JW family, business relationships, etc. and stand to lose emotionally, socially, even financially. I think it is that last one that caused me to never go into a business deal with JWs. The few times I did, I got burned.

Shunning is an institutional cult policy that is extremely effective on maintaining the control of those who fear any of the above. Shunning has little to no effect on former members such as myself.

Lose your fear, they lose their control.

Snakes (Rich )