Good for you!!! You are on the road to independent thinking - the road where the Watchtower Society has posted a "no trespassing" sign.
I started my own journey up that road on January 1, 1976. That was the day my youngest child was born, and taken away from me by court order in order for him to have a lifesaving exchange blood transfusion.
I remember praying on the way to surgery, "Jehovah, please let my baby live!"
Then I woke up in recovery, was told I had a son. Then was told he was recieving an exchange blood transfusion because he would die without it. (RH- blood factor and RHO-gam was not allowed).
Then I realized that 1975 had come and gone, and all the reassurances from the elder's that the "blood issue" would never happen because we would be living in the New System by the time my baby was born - it didn't happen that way.
My son was the first baby born in 1976 in Riverside County, California. January 1, 1976 - HELLO???!!!! How much more blatant could Jehovah be in answering my prayer and letting me know that the WTBTS was WRONG? It was my awakening. It was the beginning of a long journey for me, of searching and discovering and a road I had never dared to trespass on - independent thinking.
There is a better life beyond Jehovah's Witnesses - journey up that road and be amazed at the wonders you will discover!