Posts by GoddessRachel

43

"Even if it isn't true" - how many of you heard this one recently?

by hamsterbait in

i remember first hearing it after the generation change of 95.. a sister answered up at the wt and said "even if armageddon isn't coming, its still the best way to live.".

i have heard others say: "even if it isn't true, it's still the best way of life.".

my mother said it a few weeks ago!

GoddessRachel

Where did we all learn this anyway, I can't imagine it's in print?

This is a really good question. I have heard it and said it many times too. Where did we get this from? Were they putting tape recorded messages under our pillows while we slept when we were children?

How about the flip side: when I asked friends of mine why they were leaving - before I myself woke up - some said "I know it's the truth, but..." meaning it wasn't the best way of life, and even if it was the truth, they couldn't hack it. I think it makes a lot more sense than the canned response you get from a JW.

Rachel

33

What do you think when people tell you to just "move on"?

by Moxie in

jw
friends

...i've heard that a lot over the years.

"just get over it, let the past stay in the past".

i always say, "ya, but...".

GoddessRachel

When I hear that from someone I think "easier said than done!"

I agree especially with what Bonez and Ipsec said, respectively, that it's hard to move on as long as they are holding our families hostage; and it helps to accept that everyone is in this together, that we all feel pain and heartbreak, that we all deal with difficult things, and then find peace and enjoy our lives. It doesn't mean we won't have really difficult moments and feelings to deal with. It just means we recognize that we are not unique, and thusly not alone, in our trials.

I also agree with Sphere who said this is something often said by people who just don't want to hear what you have to say about something. And, frankly, that's human nature. We are all human and can be selfish sometimes, especially when we are dealing with our own difficult things. Perhaps someone saying it to you was just being thoughtless because they had something else on their mind?

I would say by posting here and finding commonality with people you ARE moving on, not letting it consume you, learning how to heal from what you have been through. I think it gets easier over time. It has so far for me, most days.

Peace,

Rachel

39

Text Message I Just Received From An Old Witness Friend

by str8?so is spaghetti..until you heat it up in

this is a text message i just received from a guy who was in my old congregation.

(ps, no there was no shenanigans going on there, i wasn't interested in this guy in that way...even though he was possibly the best friend i had ever had within jws).. "hi rob.

please come back to the truth.

GoddessRachel

I second what Renee had to say.

You have to grieve over the loss of your friendship as you knew it, live your own life, and do what feels right to you with regards to this friend. He's conditional only because he's brainwashed. Maybe reaching out to him will help him escape. Do what is right for you.

Good luck! I know how it feels - my best friend from childhood who is a baptized JW recently left me a voice mail wishing me a happy birthday. It was odd to say the least, and I'm still trying to figure out if I should respond to her in any way or just let it be. So far, I'm letting it be.

Rachel

35

I'm terrible at friendships!

by GoddessRachel in

jw
friends

here is where i cry and feel pity for myself: .

i'm terrible at keeping up with my friends.

i don't call them often enough, or i make an effort in the beginning and then i let it slide.

GoddessRachel

WOW, I can't believe the responses I've gotten! And to think I'm so self-involved, I thought I was the ONLY one who felt this way!

Thanks for the good thoughts and suggestions. I do make an effort to keep up on email, and I make sure to call my grandmother, who will never own a computer, but as far as my friends are concerned, I will continue to try to keep the agreements I make, and to hope that they truly care for my weird self.

(I used to be EXACTLY like you, Layla, before moving away from my friends, I would not answer the phone or return phone calls, double book, not show up, it was AWFUL! I try really hard to keep agreements I make, and only make agreements I know I can keep. It's a work in progress, I suppose! Thanks for the book suggestion, BTW, another book to sit at home and read instead of going out and playing nice - LOL! Just kidding! I really do appreciate it!)

35

I'm terrible at friendships!

by GoddessRachel in

jw
friends

here is where i cry and feel pity for myself: .

i'm terrible at keeping up with my friends.

i don't call them often enough, or i make an effort in the beginning and then i let it slide.

GoddessRachel

Job changes and moving away certainly contributed to my lost friendships too!

35

I'm terrible at friendships!

by GoddessRachel in

jw
friends

here is where i cry and feel pity for myself: .

i'm terrible at keeping up with my friends.

i don't call them often enough, or i make an effort in the beginning and then i let it slide.

GoddessRachel

Thanks! I'm glad I posted these feelings too!

The internet is nice, and so are letters, thanks for the advice. I'm bad at finding time to make phone calls. It's just something a person needs to make a priority and work at if they really want it, but also not beat ourselves up for being this way...

I like the comment that we need to remember that we care about our friends and they are thinking the same things about us, that they care about us, I mean.

A friend once told me I'm bad at follow-through. I have great intentions, but I don't follow through. It's true.

My neighbor is this guy who will walk up and knock on your door and bring you flowers or baked goods. He is a person who knows how to have relationships with people - he is 67 I believe, and so he has 40 years on me; maybe I will figure it out by then! I surely hope so.

I think part of it is how I feel burned by all of my former friendships - they all chose JW over me, or I chose the world over them, or whichever way you want to view it - it's hard to start from scratch. But seriously that's what I need to do!

35

I'm terrible at friendships!

by GoddessRachel in

jw
friends

here is where i cry and feel pity for myself: .

i'm terrible at keeping up with my friends.

i don't call them often enough, or i make an effort in the beginning and then i let it slide.

GoddessRachel

Here is where I cry and feel pity for myself:

I'm terrible at keeping up with my friends. I don't call them often enough, or I make an effort in the beginning and then I let it slide. Not because I want to - I have always been sort of socially awkward (the weird part is that everyone who knows me often comments on how I seem to be an extrovert, though I feel very much the introvert!) - but I'm just not a normal person when it comes to this. I'd rather sit at home and read a book, but then I wish I had really good friends, and it's my own fault that I don't!

OK, am I being a baby? Or does anyone else have problems like this? How do I get better at keeping up my friendships! My life would be so much richer if I would do this.

Thanks for "listening",

Rachel

43

"Even if it isn't true" - how many of you heard this one recently?

by hamsterbait in

i remember first hearing it after the generation change of 95.. a sister answered up at the wt and said "even if armageddon isn't coming, its still the best way to live.".

i have heard others say: "even if it isn't true, it's still the best way of life.".

my mother said it a few weeks ago!

GoddessRachel

Ick.

Who knows!? My mother said once "it has to be the truth or else everything we have sacrificed will be for nothing." I think JW's think this way because they live such a rigid unpleasant life that they have to believe the "world" is so much worse... I don't know...

56

What's the BEST thing about being "out" of the "truth"?

by B_Deserter in

for me, it's having friends that i don't have to hide my lack of meeting attendance/service from.

it's amazing how they teach you that only jws can be your real friends, but in reality, it's all contingent upon your religious "performance.

" sure, if you're not going to meetings, they'll try to be "friends," by encouraging you to go back.

GoddessRachel

Having the freedom to ask questions! Getting to read WHATEVER books I want! So many things! It's so good!

22

New family situation, and I'm HOT!!!

by bluesbreaker59 in

ok, so this morning i get a call from my aunt (active jw), in a panic.

she's telling me about what happened to her this weekend.

apparently my scumbag of an uncle (non-jw, he faded) came home drunk, and pushing her around, raising cane, and apparently hit her a few times.

GoddessRachel

You are a good nephew, and you are showing your aunt how a truly good person acts.

Rachel