i had a bit of a chin-wag with a freind of mine the other day.
we were talking about the questions that "nobody knows" and as witnesses, you can never get an answer for.
she came up with one i never thought about before so i thought i would share it here.. .
I think this is a relatively reasonable thought and question to have; my grandma (not a JW) asked me one time how my parents wedding was viewed by the relion as being legitimate, or did they have to get remarried when they converted?
So other people have thought this was a strange discrepancy too.
please no sarcastic crap from mean members.. i had a family member kill herself over being raised by a c.o.
who told her that it ruined their life and that she was a mistake.. i have a 10 page report from a psychiatrist back, who was also a jw, in the eighties that is pretty incredible.. now, i was also born jw with a 100 year "truth" heritage to cause me the same guilt.. and it may be drivng me the same way.
i feel the same way my aunt felt.
Is anyone in touch with 5thGeneration? I am really worried.
~Rachel
hey everyone,.
so i've been thinking about marriage a lot lately, with same-sex marriages being approved in some states, banned in others, and flip-flopped in still others (see: california).. i recently read an article in my local newspaper about how marriage is a personal and religious union that has no business being in any of our laws, and that the laws should instead be for a legal domestic relationship, to establish and recognize legal families, and that marriage should be altogether separate from that.
i really agreed with all that was said in the article.. i want to get married.
Gabriella, your post is pretty much how I feel about it. I respect myself and my partner too much to get married ... yet. But someday, that is our plan. We have talked about where we want our relationship to go, and the tentative timeline for that. We have talked about one day getting married from the very beginning and then yearly since then. If we stay on the track we are currently on, I think we will be ready for marriage in a few years. Of course, I recently read a quote that said "If you want to make God laugh, tell her your plans," so of course I take that sort of thing - life and its unpredictability - into consideration. Though I do think marriage is important, and this discussion has given me a lot to think about in terms of why I feel that way, or whether or not it even matters why I think it is important, the bottom line is that I think marriage is too important to just assume you can get a divorce if it does not work out. Forever is a long time, and I only intend to make that promise to one man. When I am ready.
As far as marriage itself goes, I believe all humans deserve equal rights. If we are not willing to pass laws allowing same sex marriages, then we must completely redefine marriage until the laws can give equal rights to everyone. That is how I feel about it.
LouBelle, I am with you as well. I feel a bit like it is not that important, that the commitment is there, the trust is there, and the official marriage will follow when the time is right. I really do not want anyone to ever be with me because of a piece of paper. I am afraid at this time in my life I would be the kind of wife who stops putting forth an effort; that is a fear I have. So I would have to be convinced that I would continue to do all the nice things I do as his girlfriend, and be his girlfriend forever, even when I am his wife.
Scott77, I realized that at about post # 3, that this is in the wrong section. Sorry about that. I am not sure if I am able to move the topic myself or not? I may have to check that out. I will check my PMs but you may be thinking of someone else as I have just started posting again after a very long sabbatical.
Lillith, that is funny, you got married to your partner who you already lived with and already felt was your husband simply so you could join the JWs? How ironic is life sometimes, huh?
I am sorry, I am tired and know I did not respond to everyone yet. But I will come back tomorrow. Good night, yall. (For some reason my apostrophe doesnt work - because Im tired probably - yeesh. I have been taking the contractions out of this whole post and now the tiredness has become too much - my apologies.)
~GoddessRachel
this sounds silly.
but what i miss about being a part of a close knit congregation is the showers.
i loved going to the bridal showers, baby showers, wedding showers.
Hey Wavvy, find a cause you truly believe in, and volunteer. You will meet real friends there!
Am I being too solution-oriented? Maybe I have been spending too much time with my partner (who is a man), and I forgot how to do this listening and empathizing thing that women are so good at. I mean, I totally empathize, but I feel like I am just giving all these "solutions" instead of saying, "It is really hard, I know it is too."
Well, I said that too, then.
please no sarcastic crap from mean members.. i had a family member kill herself over being raised by a c.o.
who told her that it ruined their life and that she was a mistake.. i have a 10 page report from a psychiatrist back, who was also a jw, in the eighties that is pretty incredible.. now, i was also born jw with a 100 year "truth" heritage to cause me the same guilt.. and it may be drivng me the same way.
i feel the same way my aunt felt.
I never knew that, Baba, that Rebel 8 and Beth S are one and the same! WOW! She SAVED me! My friend "anonymously" mailed me her book three years ago when I was stuck in (I recognized the writing on the package as his) and I read the title, stuffed it under my bed for a week, and then stewed over it. You know, we can't read that apostate drivel. My friend sent it to me because he knew I was struggling with the whole thing; I was active but terribly miserable. I read it. I cried my eyes out, because somebody understood the pain I was going through, and finally I knew the reasons why I was so unhappy!
5thGeneration, I went to a therapist for a year. I didn't mention the JW's to her, or cults, or anything. It took me half a dozen sessions to even bring up my religion, and by the time I got around to admitting it was the JW's she already knew. My psychiatrist helped me save myself. I attempted suicide three years ago, but then called a friend for help and got to the hospital in time (obviously, here I am). It was the lowest moment of my life. I've been in that dark place again, but didn't succumb to it. 5thGeneration, YOU CAN FIGHT THIS. PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP.
Baba, you haven't found the right therapist yet, but they are out there! Like bekspks said. Don't lose heart!
please no sarcastic crap from mean members.. i had a family member kill herself over being raised by a c.o.
who told her that it ruined their life and that she was a mistake.. i have a 10 page report from a psychiatrist back, who was also a jw, in the eighties that is pretty incredible.. now, i was also born jw with a 100 year "truth" heritage to cause me the same guilt.. and it may be drivng me the same way.
i feel the same way my aunt felt.
please no sarcastic crap from mean members.. i had a family member kill herself over being raised by a c.o.
who told her that it ruined their life and that she was a mistake.. i have a 10 page report from a psychiatrist back, who was also a jw, in the eighties that is pretty incredible.. now, i was also born jw with a 100 year "truth" heritage to cause me the same guilt.. and it may be drivng me the same way.
i feel the same way my aunt felt.
Well, assuming in the moment that you are asking for a book that will help your therapist understand what you are going through, I would recommend one called 10 Steps to Emotional Freedom After Being a Jehovah's Witness by Beth S. and you can purchase it through lulu.com.
It's short and really sums up well the emotional torture that the WT organization puts you through.
On a personal note, I struggle with feelings of suicide (and actually thought everyone did at one point or another in their lives, but maybe those of us who have the added struggle of JWism can be more susceptible to this). And I would like to implore you to please keep fighting. You CAN overcome these feelings, and you CAN feel happier with your life. It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It's not the answer.
~GR
EDITED: The website is lulu.com (not luna!) - sorry about that - lulu.com.
please no sarcastic crap from mean members.. i had a family member kill herself over being raised by a c.o.
who told her that it ruined their life and that she was a mistake.. i have a 10 page report from a psychiatrist back, who was also a jw, in the eighties that is pretty incredible.. now, i was also born jw with a 100 year "truth" heritage to cause me the same guilt.. and it may be drivng me the same way.
i feel the same way my aunt felt.
Hey 5thGeneration,
I don't want that to happen to you!
Do you mean a book that will help your therapist to understand the unique JW/ex-JW plight?
~GoddessRachel
this sounds silly.
but what i miss about being a part of a close knit congregation is the showers.
i loved going to the bridal showers, baby showers, wedding showers.
Aw, thanks, Journey-On, that's sweet of you to say. Don't give up hope. There's always hope.
~GR
my ds26 told me that he's getting his girlfriend an engagement ring for christmas.
how am i supposed to pretend until christmas that i don't know?
btw, yes, i'm sure she will say yes.
Congrats, St. Ann, what wonderful news! And you don't sound like a bridezilla or momzilla to me. You sound like a wonderfully supportive, loving mother.
John Doe just sounds like he has had his heart hurt too many times and now he's bitter. Poor John Doe, I'm sorry if you don't have a lovely mother like St. Ann's son does! I can relate to that - my mother informed me that she cannot attend my wedding, whenever it might be! At least she gave me a heads up, even if it breaks my heart!
St. Ann, I wish there were more mothers like you.
~GoddessRachel
