hello everyone.. after many months of lurking through my the worst time in my life and then not reading any posts since the website changed hands, i just wanted to say hello!.
all the stalwarts on here helped me so much through the worst times (born in, left when i was 34) i was too emotional to ever comment, but now i am ready to help others start to rebuild their worlds.. i just want to give all those doubters of that religion hope and help now that i have gone full circle- hence my user name.
there is lots to say, but i will join in and you will get to know me.. for anyone that is in turmoil with worry over whether to leave or not, i can empathise, but it will be the best decision you ever make!.
Our last meeting was 2 1/2 years ago and it took me months of lurking here to post. I have never even started a topic, so you are more brave then I was! This is the only place to find people who will really understand the process of leaving the cult. The first year was very difficult for me, but it helped me alot to read, read and read. You are right, it is the best decision you will ever make, and it takes some guts!
Welcome!
these videos were posted on ronnies board by poster i enjoy reading.... here is the original thread, followed by the videos... i think its good for jw's to realize that jw's aren't even the trendy cult anymore.... scary how much the leadership of jw's and scientology have in common.. http://exjehovahswitnessforum.yuku.com/topic/13525/master/1/?page=1.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aodm7nji22a.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=susec8g03vy.
OMG - the similarities are amazing. Who could deny after watching this video that Scientology is a high control cult? How could JWs not see that they are captives to the same mindset and the same cruel, cultish policies? My guess is that they would justify it by saying "we have the Truth, therefore we are justified in OUR policy", even if it destroys families. I am just wondering if any of my brain captive old friends would watch this video if I forwarded it to them. Probably not, since I am DF'd now. God, it is so FRUSTRATING!!!!!
Thank you for sharing this -
hey everyone.
i have decieded to celebrate my first christmas this year.
i was a born in jw and now aged 32 and having not been to a meeting in a year this is a big step for me.
I am getting my first Christmas tree in 42 years. I'm not sure how many lights I need, and although I have started collecting ornaments, I know I don't have enough and will have to run out for more. I stopped celebrating at age 15 when my mom converted to JWs. My husband and I left 2 years ago. I couldn't be more thrilled. Not having Christmas was something I never stopped mourning. I always had to distract myself with something (a trip away, etc.) so that I wouldn't get too depressed.
In my opinion, a nice dinner with those you love on Xmas Eve, with the tree all pretty, is the best part, along with the music. I love the old Christmas carols!
Enjoy!
i guess it only took three years, but they were hell in so many ways for both of us...she was not happy and lived in denial as much as possible...i was not happy and lived in a bottle as much as possible and glad that is over for me....but it was one of the saddest things i have ever experienced in my life....as was the visit to my parents before i told her....but yes...she said she kind of expected it...was thinking something was going to happen soon as she noticed i had more and more trouble saying i love you back to her when she said it on the phone at the end of goodbyes...and when i was leaving the house...i had noticed it for over a year and it was killing me..... i told her how sorry i was for changing so much again....and that she still walks on water...and is a great person and so pretty....and that she will be ok because she was happy single before me for many years and had all she needs for that again...her closeness to jehovah and her freinds in the congregation...she is very close to both and will be ok i hope...it was very surreal....very calm...very sad.
my bitterness and disdain for wt rules came through when talking to my parents and i was very open about how i feel as to their upcoming shunning of me, and how it feels to my son since he was just 17....and how the fear of losing them had kept me trying in my marriage for the past few years...dad was firm in his position of future action....mom said they will still always love me...and will still talk to me until i get dfd.....oh how this hurts.....dad said there is a name for people who only live for themselves and deny god but could not think of what it was....i told him i was not living just for myself...that i am a good person and there are values from him and the bible i hope i always have....i cry so hard as i type this and tell you just so you can know how painful this is....i told him i so loved the rule of treating others how you want to be treated and have always done that...even allowing myself to be wronged on so many occasions to keep peace....... he said that was a good rule....i agreed and said it was a big one too....and that while i could do it...treat him the way i would like to be treated...he would not be able to!.......left as i became emotional...big hug from mom, but i just barely put an arm on dad............oompa.
OOmpa, so sorry for the pain you are going through. What you are doing is demonstrating great courage and honesty on your part, I hope you gain some strength from that and that and, as Dinah said, you won't be living in limbo anymore. I know you have seen this coming for a while. I have the impression that you have made a few friends on the outside. Share it all with them, I know they will be very sympathetic. Stay close to your son too. It probably would help to get some counseling from someone experienced with those exiting cults. AA too can provide comfort and companionship. It will take some time, but as they say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. This will pass.
We can always hope that the ones we love and miss will come around. I believe there will be more and more exposure of the WTBS as being a high control cult. Let's hope the light bulb goes off soon and they can see what a cruel, unloving, and unchristian this practice of shunning is.
Our hearts are with you!
again i wanted to make clear to my jw friends and family.
(pretending that they actually would come across this post and read this) i loved being a jehovah's witness when i was, i had pride, no regrets, and loving support.
do i feel i left that, do i feel i made a sin and had to pay for this by disfellowshipment being justified,... no and no.
You are going through the experience of being shunned by your closest family. This is extremely painful, all of us can understand. It is especially terrible when you realize you have been left out of important family events - as if you don't exist. I think your fiance is absolutely right, nobody knows the "truth" and if it was absolutely necessary that we do understand every detail then the almighty God of the universe certainly would have made it more clear for us bumbling yahoos down here. You continue to grow in confidence in yourself and remember the bible says "God is love". That is NOT what the WTBS teaches. They teach obedience to their own traditions through guilt and fear. Don't beat yourself up anymore!
just curious to see who else left in the same year as me.
and how are things for you now.. it has been 2 1/2 years since i left and damn time has gone fast.
i now have heaps of fun.
My husband and I attended our last meeting in June 2007. We had little or no contact with JWs in the last two years and refused to discuss our reasons for leaving with most who asked. We were df'd July this year for apostasy.
Life is good, and getting better. I will have my first Christmas tree this year in 42 years. Can't wait!
i wanted to say a few things to current and former elders.
it was really a post by alltimejeff on 10/1/2009 that got me thinking about this and i address a few things that he says here.
but i dont want to single him out because i really think that he is typical of many, and he did in fact apologize for his actions at the end of his post.
The post above by "the dude abides" is actually by me, whoknows. My son was logged on and I posted as him by mistake. damn him for using my laptop.
i believe someday it will be as obscure and strange as say the russelites.
the meetings will only be attended by ppl over sixty or so and it will hardly be considered anywhere near as significant a religion as it is today.
i wonder what will begin this process.
I agree that the increased information that people in general have at their fingertips via the internet will eventually be the downfall of the borg. The increasing isolation by the GB of the faithful through discouragement of education, the forbidding of reading anything negative about the organization in any form or speaking with anyone who has been disfellowshipped has to be seen by the average person as the desperate act of a cult trying to preserve their membership. A comment was made above that when a bible study is finally started with an "innocent" - they quickly are informed by friends or family about the true nature of the religion and the study is lost. I'm so glad to hear it. My husband and I were recently disfellowshipped for apostasy. When I tell people at work that we have friends who have known us since we were children no longer speak to us, they are stunned. They think of JWs as being a backward, but benign, religion. When I explain the shunning policy that JWs have that extends to even the parent/child relationship, they are shocked. There has been some recent press about Scientology "disconnecting" family who disagree with the religion. This is ain't gonna fly in an enlightened, educated and informed western culture.
i realize i'm a bit quiet here, and most if not all won't remember my story, so here is a brief synopsis.
i recently decided that i'd rather pursue life rather than a future life promised but not realized.
i was fortunate enough that my husband agreed in that he didn't want any man telling him what he had to do, or how to live, and so left with me.
Heartbreaker,
You and your family have a lot of courage for doing the right thing. You are so right to protect your children and allow them the freedom to be honest with everyone should they be asked about controversial subjects. You said that you have lost all of your lifelong friends. That happened to us in the last 2 years. We are in our 50s and my husband had been an elder for 26 yrs, so we were obviously heavily involved in the religion. We tried to walk away quietly and refused to discuss our reasons with anyone who inquired, but they still dug up enough gossip to have us disfellowshipped for apostacy two months ago. The first year is the hardest. We, too, have our two children out with us and that is huge. We also have siblings who were never associated. Keep yourselves busy with healthy, fun and interesting activities and in time the hurt does fade. I really feel for you, but two years plus out - and I am feeling better all the time. We have reconnected with some people and met some new ones. I get to have my first Xmas tree in 42 years this year and I am so excited. Enjoy the freedom.
hey everyone,.
i've decided for the first time in my life to celebrate christmas this year, just like everyone else around here.
trouble is i have no idea how to begin!
I am getting my first Christmas tree this year since I was 15, which was 42 years ago. I am extremely excited about it. Christmas was always a happy time in our house - even though my parents fought like cats and dogs the rest of the year. I have very warm and fuzzy memories of the whole experience. My favorite part is the tree.
A good tip I was given was that when you string the lights, you zig zag them on the tree, don't wrap them round and round. Apparently it is much easier to take down. For me it has to be a real tree, the smell in the house is half of the experience.
I can't wait!
