Posts by Tornintwo

54

Paranoia after today's Watchtower

by Truthexplorer in

boy oh boy did i feel paranoid at today's wt.

not only are we to watch our associations outside of the congregation, but also watch our associations 'within' the congregation.

this was emphasised by the wt study conductor.

Tornintwo

Sounds like the anti communist paranoiia in the McCarthy era in the USA....

Or worse East Germany in the Stazi era....

Or China today...

and so on.....

54

Paranoia after today's Watchtower

by Truthexplorer in

boy oh boy did i feel paranoid at today's wt.

not only are we to watch our associations outside of the congregation, but also watch our associations 'within' the congregation.

this was emphasised by the wt study conductor.

Tornintwo

I'm sorry Nicolaou, what happened with him?

my son was a suspect teen, he made the break after being rejected by the judgemental lot, funny thing was, he was still at all the meetings and on the ministry, but this hair and attitude wasn't good enough for them. It was very painful for him at the time and he's had a lot of anger issues and experimented with drugs etc since but he's becoming more stable now, he has a good bunch of new friends who are unconditional. When I saw the way the witnesses treated him when he left, it started my awakening.

54

Paranoia after today's Watchtower

by Truthexplorer in

boy oh boy did i feel paranoid at today's wt.

not only are we to watch our associations outside of the congregation, but also watch our associations 'within' the congregation.

this was emphasised by the wt study conductor.

Tornintwo

This kind of rubbish makes me so angry and is dangerous. I've seen it cause real problems for young ones in the congregation. So you have a young boy or girl, hits 14, is feeling the pull of their worldly friends at school etc and the normal turmoil of adolescence, perhaps they are trying to find themselves, so they get a bit of an attitude, cut or dye their hair, start to express themselves with some cooler or more alternative clothes and music .....all completely normal behavior for teenagers!!! But because of this awful indoctrination, other young ones in the cong and more often their parents start looking at this youth with suspicion and judgment, perhaps they are no longer a 'good association'. So they get uninvited to social events, avoided by other youths in the organisation and rumors spread.

What next? we have a youth who faces a loneliness and isolation from the only piers he/she is permitted to associate with, at a time of life when they desperately want the company of their piers. A) they remain lonely and frustrated until they conform to the drone ideal and prove themselves to the self righteous, judgemental brothers. B) they do the only sensible thing and move towards their 'worldly' associates and leave the org. With all the pain and fallout that goes with it, whilst the judgemental lot shake their heads and lament, 'I told you there was something worldly about him/her'. C) they are driven to depression or even suicide having been rejected by the only community they have ever known.

Makes me sick.

39

Hubby has been doing research on the internet!!!!

by atacrossroads in

jw
friends

my husband was recently subjected to an intervention by his parents.

i am apparently a danger to his spirituality.

after i stopped attending meetings and went apostate hubby decided to resign as a ms to spend more time with me.

Tornintwo

Wow, what a result! Great news for you. Isn't it ironic that their controlling, critical form of showing 'love' is having the opposite effect on him. Try to point him to jwfacts.com if you can, some of the other apostate websites can turn people back to the org they can be overly bitter and critical, imo

29

What is Your Favorite JW YouTube Video?

by cognac in

jw
friends

maybe it's shocking, funny, a good story, etc.. i was just watching the one below... i was shocked!

.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=e7qmypu7mxo.

Tornintwo

Can we have a 'serious ex-jw you tube video' thread too, there's so much crap out there I don't know which ones are really good to watch. I'm talking about experiences, former elders, recorded judicial meetings etc, any top recommendations?

29

What is Your Favorite JW YouTube Video?

by cognac in

jw
friends

maybe it's shocking, funny, a good story, etc.. i was just watching the one below... i was shocked!

.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=e7qmypu7mxo.

Tornintwo

Breakfastofchampions....hilarious video, we actually used to sit through those things hahahah

38

Hilarious Whatsapp message received - FIRST day after Big D

by cognitivedizzy in

jw
friends

a hilarious stupid wa message is being circulated amongst jws in my area / country.. i had a hearty laugh at the ignorance and stupidity and brainwashed mentality, different people may express different emotions so you have been warned.

day one after armageddon it seems ages since we last heard the gunshots and screams, today has been really quiet.

the last few weeks have been sheer terror.

Tornintwo

Anyone who had a part in writing this message or reads it with appreciation is completely insane and devoid of all human compassion.

15

It had sounded to good to be true.

by The Rebel in

jw
friends

because it wasn't true anyway.

it was a dream.

the insanest dream, to believe that i was going to live forever.. but today i am alive, and i am determined to travel the seconds between life and death aware of my mortality.

Tornintwo

Great post and thread, rebel, thanks. Such interesting accounts, wow, this cult leaves it's mark doesn't it?

xjwsrock, can't believe you said all that and you are still a serving elder, wow, how do you do it?

me in brief:

where am I in recovery....: volatile, only 6 months into awakening, I have healthy days when I feel exhilarated and free and want to walk away with my head held high, knowing it's a damaging cult....then there are days that pull me back in to self doubt, guilt, worried about what they think, missing the community., wondering if this is the right thing to do.....then there are days when i know it's b.s, but I am so, so angry with myself for putting me and my kids through this and messing up a great deal of opportunities in the best years of my life....

so yeah, I'm all over the place....

how long? Only 6 months from finally acknowledging serious doubts, researching and gradually awakening (an ongoing process)

where do I hope to be in a year? Not looking back anymore, living an authentic life, no guilt, no self doubt, back in the land of the living, with more non witness friends and a social life, no longer caring what the witnesses think or say, giving the whole religion (even ex-jw stuff) less mental energy and time and just living my life as if it never darkened my path, for my kids to be healthy, happy and successful OUTSIDE the cult, it would be absolutely great if my hubby woke up too but it's never going to happen.....

10

Tough Day & wanting to escape

by Olivia Wilde in

so today after my workout at the gym, i was driving away from the parking lot, notice 2 witnesses on the sidewalk with their witness cart, one older man with a young female, related?

not sure but as i drove away it finally hit me, all this buildup & staying strong since my awakening finally hit me .... just crying & saw my life flashing before my eyes just couldn't keep myself strong anymore, especially thinking of my child & other things happening in my life currently, which are hitting reality...... i came home & had a conversation with my son about our weekly mtgs, we have missed the ms mtgs for a few times/days in a row now, does anyone check on us?

... anyway i finally told him that for the time being mommy needs to figure out some things with god & jesus first & for the time being won't be making the ms mtgs & will be doing our bible study at home... thankfully he understands & just told him that god understands how i feel & is ok with it.... it's difficult to feel alone in this, i feel broken with the other things happening in my life, not wt or jw related, & just want to escape & run away, i don't have many friends & my non jw family is not a close family, we were never close, & i feel like i don't have anyone to talk to.... people that know me & interact with me have no clue the turmoil i'm going thru inside, i pretend like nothing is wrong with my life .

Tornintwo

Hi Olivia

So sorry for what you are going through. I am sure you can get through this stress and come out happier and stronger with your son.

I empathise completely, I'm a mum too with all the stress & complications that brings and I have been waking up the past few months, it has been at times a very painful, lonely process, with days of tears, grief and self-doubt, contemplating divorce etc etc... then there are also days of elation, feeling I'm free of meetings and ministry and all that guilt and judgemental crap. What I have found is it's been easier (for me) to rip the band-aid off and walk away from meetings completely because I couldn't cope with their judgement and lack of genuine care, but I do have family who aren't jws and a close ex-jw friend to talk with, so that might not be the same for you.

Lots of people advise on here reaching out to non witness friends, colleagues, neighbours, family - to build yourself a support network outside the organisation - which is crucial. Also give yourself TLC, rest and take care of yourself, nurture yourself through this time which is recommended in the helpful book Bonnie Zieman's "Exiting the JW Cult: A Healing Handbook for current and former Jehovahs Witnesses" - available on kindle (you don't need a kindle just a kindle app on your tablet/phone). I've also found counselling worthwhile just to have a neutral sounding board to sort out your emotions and clarify your decisions (I had to do it by email because of privacy but it's been surprisingly helpful).

I'm a newbie and there are better qualified members on here I am sure but please PM me anytime I'd love to give a bit of empathy & support if I can. x

18

Nice moment today

by Theburstbubble in

so it's been a few months since i last went to a meeting but i've still had lots of guilty feelings about leaving, such as am i doing the right thing, thinking about friends and family, where do i go from here etc etc.

but i think once you stop believing you can't go back.. anyway, today i had a very nice experience.

my daughter had been to nursery today and when she got home i asked her what she had done and she excitedly told me they had been doing pumpkins.

Tornintwo

hey burst bubble, I'm right with you. It's hard to shake the guilt and self doubt when we have been ingrained with it for so long, I think that why I need forums like this, gives me affirmation that my instincts about this cult are spot on and that it's the right thing to walk away.

I have three kids, 2 teenagers who had to say no to all that pagan false worship and we had plenty of awkward moments explaining to teachers and tears over birthday invitations, I feel terrible about it now. This year they are planning their first Halloween, outfits and all! My toddler has just had a birthday and it's so great to let her join in everything at playschool. I personally really like the sense of community that these festivals bring, and love feeling part of things again.