Posts by Tornintwo

10

Tough Day & wanting to escape

by Olivia Wilde in

so today after my workout at the gym, i was driving away from the parking lot, notice 2 witnesses on the sidewalk with their witness cart, one older man with a young female, related?

not sure but as i drove away it finally hit me, all this buildup & staying strong since my awakening finally hit me .... just crying & saw my life flashing before my eyes just couldn't keep myself strong anymore, especially thinking of my child & other things happening in my life currently, which are hitting reality...... i came home & had a conversation with my son about our weekly mtgs, we have missed the ms mtgs for a few times/days in a row now, does anyone check on us?

... anyway i finally told him that for the time being mommy needs to figure out some things with god & jesus first & for the time being won't be making the ms mtgs & will be doing our bible study at home... thankfully he understands & just told him that god understands how i feel & is ok with it.... it's difficult to feel alone in this, i feel broken with the other things happening in my life, not wt or jw related, & just want to escape & run away, i don't have many friends & my non jw family is not a close family, we were never close, & i feel like i don't have anyone to talk to.... people that know me & interact with me have no clue the turmoil i'm going thru inside, i pretend like nothing is wrong with my life .

Tornintwo

Hi Olivia

So sorry for what you are going through. I am sure you can get through this stress and come out happier and stronger with your son.

I empathise completely, I'm a mum too with all the stress & complications that brings and I have been waking up the past few months, it has been at times a very painful, lonely process, with days of tears, grief and self-doubt, contemplating divorce etc etc... then there are also days of elation, feeling I'm free of meetings and ministry and all that guilt and judgemental crap. What I have found is it's been easier (for me) to rip the band-aid off and walk away from meetings completely because I couldn't cope with their judgement and lack of genuine care, but I do have family who aren't jws and a close ex-jw friend to talk with, so that might not be the same for you.

Lots of people advise on here reaching out to non witness friends, colleagues, neighbours, family - to build yourself a support network outside the organisation - which is crucial. Also give yourself TLC, rest and take care of yourself, nurture yourself through this time which is recommended in the helpful book Bonnie Zieman's "Exiting the JW Cult: A Healing Handbook for current and former Jehovahs Witnesses" - available on kindle (you don't need a kindle just a kindle app on your tablet/phone). I've also found counselling worthwhile just to have a neutral sounding board to sort out your emotions and clarify your decisions (I had to do it by email because of privacy but it's been surprisingly helpful).

I'm a newbie and there are better qualified members on here I am sure but please PM me anytime I'd love to give a bit of empathy & support if I can. x

18

Nice moment today

by Theburstbubble in

so it's been a few months since i last went to a meeting but i've still had lots of guilty feelings about leaving, such as am i doing the right thing, thinking about friends and family, where do i go from here etc etc.

but i think once you stop believing you can't go back.. anyway, today i had a very nice experience.

my daughter had been to nursery today and when she got home i asked her what she had done and she excitedly told me they had been doing pumpkins.

Tornintwo

hey burst bubble, I'm right with you. It's hard to shake the guilt and self doubt when we have been ingrained with it for so long, I think that why I need forums like this, gives me affirmation that my instincts about this cult are spot on and that it's the right thing to walk away.

I have three kids, 2 teenagers who had to say no to all that pagan false worship and we had plenty of awkward moments explaining to teachers and tears over birthday invitations, I feel terrible about it now. This year they are planning their first Halloween, outfits and all! My toddler has just had a birthday and it's so great to let her join in everything at playschool. I personally really like the sense of community that these festivals bring, and love feeling part of things again.

56

Today's watchtower: obey us, no matter what

by Tornintwo in

today's watchtower:.

obey us, obey us even when it seems strange, obeying our man made hierarchy equates to obeying god, sacrifice your own interests, work for us, don't be independent, put your own interests aside, obey some more, preach for us, build for us, enjoy it, obey some more, forgive when we are jerks to you and mistreat you, accept your changed assignment even if it seems cruel and doesn't make sense, don't complain if we move you (eg.

) because you might have to move in the new world, remember you are being trained to obey, remember to put your own interests aside, that's the way we are designed to live - it will only make you happy!

Tornintwo

Well done! Heads bobbing, they're not engaging their brains, they hear the right buzzwords and like Jehovah, theocratic, society and nod away in agreement, it's sad....Maybe there's someone there thinking though and you might just catch their curiosity to prompt them to start researching.....

23

Is Lying a Disfellowshipping offence?

by stuckinarut2 in

so, if lying or being deliberately misleading is a "disfellowshipping" offence, why haven't the brothers who lied to the australian royal commission been brought before a judicial committee?

?.

Tornintwo

I know someone who was df'd for malicious lying so yes.

he was a pathological,liar and fraudster, the elders were advised to go with the malicious lying angle by the branch because the fraud was too difficult to prove.

56

Today's watchtower: obey us, no matter what

by Tornintwo in

today's watchtower:.

obey us, obey us even when it seems strange, obeying our man made hierarchy equates to obeying god, sacrifice your own interests, work for us, don't be independent, put your own interests aside, obey some more, preach for us, build for us, enjoy it, obey some more, forgive when we are jerks to you and mistreat you, accept your changed assignment even if it seems cruel and doesn't make sense, don't complain if we move you (eg.

) because you might have to move in the new world, remember you are being trained to obey, remember to put your own interests aside, that's the way we are designed to live - it will only make you happy!

Tornintwo

Its really the message of the whole article but here goes: “Independence and an unreasonable insistence on personal preference may be highly regarded by some, but what has been the result? Failure to accept God’s direction has led to suffering, misery, even tragedy. (Jer. 10:23) How we look forward to the time when all mankind will submit to Jehovah’s loving sovereignty!”
“But what if we were directed to perform a particular aspect of the work that did not appeal to us? Would we submit to that direction by doing our best to carry out and even enjoy our assignment? Most of us would answer yes! Consistently, then, are we submitting to theocratic direction now? If we are doing so, we are preparing for everlasting life under Jehovah’s rulership.”
“submitting to Jehovah’s present-day arrangements but also by working now to cultivate contentment and a spirit of cooperation. If we cooperate with those taking the lead today, perhaps finding contentment and joy in new assignments of service, we are likely to have the same attitude in the new world.”
"to cooperate with Jehovah’s organization and care for theocratic assignments.”

“some members of the Bethel family in the United States have been reassigned to the field and are now enjoying abundant blessings in other forms of the full-time ministry. Because of advancing age or other factors, others who were in the traveling work have now received special pioneer assignments. If we cultivate contentment, pray for God’s help, and do all we can in his service, we will experience joy and will receive many blessings even in these critical last day”

“If you are young and are giving serious consideration to a career in Jehovah’s service, why not review some of the material that has been published about various avenues of the full-time ministry and set one of these as a goal?”

“Does spending our time preparing for God’s new world mean forfeiting a better or more fulfilling way of life today? By no means! Serving Jehovah is the most satisfying way of life there is. It is not a matter of servitude under duress just so that we can pass through the great tribulation. It is the way we are designed to live, the way that yields the greatest joy”

“Personal interests and pleasures will have their place in God’s new world"

“Recreation and relaxation have their place, but the pleasure derived from them is increased when we put our relationship with Jehovah first”

56

Today's watchtower: obey us, no matter what

by Tornintwo in

today's watchtower:.

obey us, obey us even when it seems strange, obeying our man made hierarchy equates to obeying god, sacrifice your own interests, work for us, don't be independent, put your own interests aside, obey some more, preach for us, build for us, enjoy it, obey some more, forgive when we are jerks to you and mistreat you, accept your changed assignment even if it seems cruel and doesn't make sense, don't complain if we move you (eg.

) because you might have to move in the new world, remember you are being trained to obey, remember to put your own interests aside, that's the way we are designed to live - it will only make you happy!

Tornintwo

Today's watchtower:

obey us, obey us even when it seems strange, obeying our man made hierarchy equates to obeying God, sacrifice your own interests, work for us, don't be independent, put your own interests aside, obey some more, preach for us, build for us, enjoy it, obey some more, forgive when we are jerks to you and mistreat you, accept your changed assignment even if it seems cruel and doesn't make sense, don't complain if we move you (eg. to a different k.h.) because you might have to move in the new world, remember you are being trained to obey, remember to put your own interests aside, that's the way we are designed to live - it will only make you happy! Now is not the time for personal accomplishments, you should sacrifice yourself and obey...us, you'll be joyful!

If you do all this you'll get the fulfillment of all your hearts desires in the new world, you can even finally learn in your chosen "field of knowledge" so don't forget there is no need to fulfil any of your potential, get an education or to accomplish anything for yourself now.

OMG why didn't I see any of this before?

32

Elizabeth McFarland child abuse lawsuit on the news

by cedars in

hi folks.

i'm aware that there is already a thread on the newly-announced elizabeth mcfarland lawsuit, but i thought i would start a new thread for the benefit of lurkers showing the newly released news videos more prominently.. here they are.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfhrhrvm2c4.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xegm1gunz2c.

Tornintwo

Anyone know what the outcome was in this case?

37

Jehovah’s Witness jailed for sexual activity with a child

by LevelThePlayingField in

source: http://stratfordobserver.co.uk/news/jehovahs-witness-jailed-for-sexual-activity-with-a-child-8997/.

a jehovahs witness from stratford who took part in sexual activity with a 15-year-old girl has been struggling with those demons for the last seven or eight years, a judge has heard.. but pleas for craig allen, who was said to have support from the jehovahs witness congregation, not to be jailed cut no ice with a judge at warwick crown court.. the 43 year-old of evesham road, dodwell, was jailed for two years and eight months and ordered to register as a sex offender for life after he pleaded guilty to two charges of sexual activity with a child.. prosecutor andrew wallace said allen had met the girl in the mid-2000s through the church.. the girl, now a young woman in her 20s, said she began to fancy allen, who had started to pay her compliments.. then on one occasion when he gave her a lift, despite being fully aware she was only 15, allen sexually touched her.. she did not object or tell anyone what had happened, and there were further consensual incidents between them, including various types of sexual activity but not full intercourse.. someone who suspected what was going on between allen, a family man in his 30s, and the girl said something to her mother.. but when she challenged both her daughter and allen about what she had heard, they both denied it.. things stopped after the girl began to feel guilty about what was happening, and she eventually decided to come forward last year and contacted the police.. she said she had been dramatically affected by what had gone on, and that what happened with allen caused her to suffer a breakdown and still haunted her.. when allen was questioned by the police he accepted the incidents had taken place, but claimed it was the girl who had taken the lead.. elizabeth power, defending, said allen, who has a son and a daughter who were now both in their 20s, had attended for a voluntary interview with the police and made admissions.. he did not force himself on her but he was the adult and she was a child.

he says he was weak and was attracted to her.

Tornintwo

Warehouse there is a big difference between normal, mutual consented teenage sexual experimentation and an adult taking advantage of a child. They are not equal, in fact the adolescent brain has not even finished forming, hence one is a criminal act and one is not.

You are sounding like you sympathise with this middle aged pervert and it's not making you look good.

40

Elders are Complicit with WT Society in Child Abuse Scandals- Gonzalo Campos Case

by flipper in

of course, most of us realize this.

however sometimes even on this board sometimes threads have stated that the jw elders have been occasionally painted as the " fall guys " who take the rap for the wt society leaders - which of course is true - to a degree.

however- that being said , many times elders have failed to protect - or even have failed to advocate for child abuse victims when it has been within their power to do so.

Tornintwo

When I first heard reports of child abuse in the org. I though they were probably sensationalized, I was still in. But now they are popping up everywhere and again and again we hear the same thing, the elders discouraged victims from going to the authorities and wouldn't go themselves so as not to bring reproach...... Never mind what any official party line is, these are the facts repeated in many different cases.

we also hear that it's perceived as a 'sin' not a crime, that abusers are reinstated, even reappointed

we hear that at one point the society said something along the lines that anyone previously a child abuser can NEVER have privileges in the congregation again, but then the October 2012 letter clarifies that is not necessarily the case, making loopholes so that these perverts can serve as elders again.

So all this coming together you have to ask yourself why? Why wouldn't they just boot any former child abuser out to obscurity, why not report to the authorities, why not support the victims??? Then an answer comes to you, one you don't want to believe but could well explain everything. Do you know what the answer could be? there are too damn many of them in this organization, this organization could well be riddled with pedophiles, so much so that to remove all their privileges and positions could cause serious upheaval. That would explain the sympathy towards the perpetrator, the cover ups, the abuse of the victim. It may sound sensational but I would not be surprised at all if a great many in the hierarchy of this org are guilty of or sympathetic towards this perversion and/or abuse.

37

Jehovah’s Witness jailed for sexual activity with a child

by LevelThePlayingField in

source: http://stratfordobserver.co.uk/news/jehovahs-witness-jailed-for-sexual-activity-with-a-child-8997/.

a jehovahs witness from stratford who took part in sexual activity with a 15-year-old girl has been struggling with those demons for the last seven or eight years, a judge has heard.. but pleas for craig allen, who was said to have support from the jehovahs witness congregation, not to be jailed cut no ice with a judge at warwick crown court.. the 43 year-old of evesham road, dodwell, was jailed for two years and eight months and ordered to register as a sex offender for life after he pleaded guilty to two charges of sexual activity with a child.. prosecutor andrew wallace said allen had met the girl in the mid-2000s through the church.. the girl, now a young woman in her 20s, said she began to fancy allen, who had started to pay her compliments.. then on one occasion when he gave her a lift, despite being fully aware she was only 15, allen sexually touched her.. she did not object or tell anyone what had happened, and there were further consensual incidents between them, including various types of sexual activity but not full intercourse.. someone who suspected what was going on between allen, a family man in his 30s, and the girl said something to her mother.. but when she challenged both her daughter and allen about what she had heard, they both denied it.. things stopped after the girl began to feel guilty about what was happening, and she eventually decided to come forward last year and contacted the police.. she said she had been dramatically affected by what had gone on, and that what happened with allen caused her to suffer a breakdown and still haunted her.. when allen was questioned by the police he accepted the incidents had taken place, but claimed it was the girl who had taken the lead.. elizabeth power, defending, said allen, who has a son and a daughter who were now both in their 20s, had attended for a voluntary interview with the police and made admissions.. he did not force himself on her but he was the adult and she was a child.

he says he was weak and was attracted to her.

Tornintwo

Warehouse....can't believe you just said that?!? - yes it's happened for centuries, it's called sexual exploitation of women (young ones especially) and as for 'consensual', I would guess it's happened more often with grooming, emotional or physical abuse. Thankfully modern society is waking up to the fact that thats NOT OKAY. Thankfully we are not in the dark ages or the third world.